RAMBLE ABOUT CRAPOLA:
Do you sometimes wish you could give someone a good old shake and say
"I understand you are freaking out, but please just shut up for a minute and listen to me?"
This morning I have witnessed a big bleargh in the Facebook newsfeed, with someone directly insulting an ex. It's all good be honest about how you feel. And believe me, I do know sh*t happens. Been on both ends of that. But threats and insults are SUPER unattractive and a bit of a hint that some help with seeing how energy works could be useful.
When someone treats someone else 'badly' there is a lesson. Lessons bring gifts and growth and they might feel painful but they are GOOD.
Get the lesson fast. Breathe, ground. Remember life is not always simple. There are bumps, curves and the odd pothole in the road. Be less affronted and front up more. Say "Yes Life, you slippery little number, I see you are testing me again - well I AM STRONG, so I'm sucking it up and moving FORWARD and GROWING." And even love it a little.
Penalising yourself and others for perceived 'mistakes' when in fact, you are just learning and growing, can lead to bitching about the treatment you got.
And if you do that - it means you haven't understood the lesson. Sometimes that means you'll get it again.
That's entirely up to the individual. You get bitter or better (with wisdom, kindness and gentleness) and YOU are the timekeeper on that. Breathe life into your drama OR breathe life into your life's greatest work.
Sympathising with the 'bitcher' helps them remain in a place of bitterness and confusion and it also offers them a great big chunk of your lovely energy to munch on. That energy often goes straight out of your gut. You might feel tired, panicky, hungry, like a gap needs to be filled or like something is missing.
Not everyone has a lot of extra energy to dish out, and empathic (feel a lot, give a lot) people can get caught up in the dramas of others quite easily.
If you're paying attention you'll notice some people will continually create the drama in order to keep getting the energy. Sometimes they are completely unaware they do this.
Commenters/judgers jumping on the bandwagon and wishing someone who has wronged others unwell can end up with a similar lesson. I know that we want to protect, it can be so irresistible and you just feel like wrapping your friend up in your arms and chasing away the baddies, but there are positive ways. Gossip energy is very detrimental to your field too.
Offering a view from a distance, so they can step back and see the big picture is very valuable. If you are giving a load of your energy away, to friend or family try empowering rather than endowing. This helps them step up.
There is a difference and the difference is that empowering another, also empowers you. You may not be popular for a short period of time, but the phrase 'what did you learn from this?' is a good place to start.
Picking out the parts that were good and blessing them, saying thank you for those little treasures, and then allowing the rest to flow away - is priceless.
What's crapola? Here is my de(b)finition:
casual or unconstrained conversation, drama or reports about other people, typically involving details which are one individuals side of the story, when there are in fact, two hurt parties to take into account. *Nobody is the bad guy, but everyone is pointing the finger.
Synonyms: muck raking, tittle-tattle, tattle, rumour(s), whispers, stories, tales, titbits, gossip and even possibly bollocks.
The only way is up baby.
May your day be informative, fabulous, filled with radical gorgeousness and a dash of something sparkly, scribbly and wondrous.
Life Whisperer, Coach, Ladybug Lover, Constant Evolver
ps. Sometimes I'd love to comment on people's drama on their page, but of course you know it's never going to be well received, and it's just me feeding them my experience for free. Better to create something with it and offer it so you can find it useful. So it's me turning a reaction into a positive gift for you. If it helped you - please SHARE it with my blessing. <3
My God the road to love can be fraught with peril can't it?
When you just hope so much that this next one is The One and you try so hard to be confident
but underneath your knees are knocking.
There are so many scenarios I have been through, trying to get the right guy 'in the box.'
You know, the imaginary box that your mother wants someone to be in so she can finally breathe a big sigh of relief and know you're going to be looked after. She can put a tick beside your name on the list.
And if she hasn't got a box for that special someone
who-will-make-you-happy-and-look-after-you to go in, you do.
It's all very well getting advice from people with partners too. After a while you can feel like you are on the outside of a big plastic bubble that excludes you while everyone else walks around being smugly married or wrapped up in each other.
And then the media, bless their hearts, tells you the world is a TERRIBLE place and that there is a Man Drought.
Sod it all, as if that wasn't enough. And if you're a woman looking for a guy, the best guys are gay, and all that stuff.
I know. I've been there.
I got chewed up, spat out and a whole lot of other things by the dating game.
Then I stopped looking. I hung up my dancing shoes and went home. All my friends were annoyed with me and everyone said I would never meet the man of my dreams in my lounge. But I did. On Facebook.
And he wasn't one of those scammers who professes deep, deep love as he is enraptured by your charm and winning smile. He was real.
Tell you what almost stuffed it right up though - MY BAGGAGE.
We went out for coffee in broad daylight. And that was a bit scary because of my baggage, but it was broad daylight in my local village, so I was ok. (I was told he was the one by my guides, which freaked me out.)
Then he freaked me out, by asking me out for dinner and I said yes - when I really meant 'I'm scared',
which freaked me out further.
During the day on Tuesday, literal shakes and cold sweats - I was confronted by all my baggage leaping up and down and basically screaming at me. I wanted to curl up and die instead of going out for dinner. Men hurt. Here we go again.
Too scary. My experience in life said 'If I give my heart to someone he could stamp on it.
He could be a rapist, a stalker, abusive. He might rip me off financially.' And my paranoid other voice said 'What-if-he-is-the-one-and-I-stuff-this-up? He might be the one, he might be the one.'
(That voice has caused me no end of pain, excusing bad behaviour, and heartache - hoping and hoping.)
I know, if you have been looking for love for a while, that you know about that voice.
Anyway. He was the one. Even though my fear monsters tried to drown out my inner voice, my inner voice was right.
BUT I almost didn't go out for the dinner. Mid afternoon sometime, I managed to get out from underneath the 'what ifs', and the memories and ghosts of my past, and then I was ok.
We talked about fear over the next few days and I confided in him that I almost didn't go out because of my baggage.
He said that he had tried dating websites, but he felt so awful because he met ladies who were sad because of the way life had worked out, and that he felt so terrible, because he knew when he met them, that because of the sadness, he wouldn't be asking them out again.
I felt sad for them, thought about where I had been, and totally understood where he and they were coming from.
We talked about energy healing and how it helps to release old sadness and make people feel fresher and I considered offering Goddess Packs - Healing for the new life, saying yes to love in ALL areas, not just relationships, self discovery as a woman, process and release of old hurts, stress and fear, and self esteem building.
But I didn't do anything about it till now. Now we are getting ready for 2015. And I believe as much baggage as possible should be liberated. Washed away, burned, brought out into the light and set free, so we can all be free, because having love in your life, love for yourself, lovely experiences and a love, not just for one person, but for all (or certainly most) people, is definitely the answer.
We can't carry our old stuff with us. It stuffs up our NOW. And even though Then caused us pain, hurt and drama -
NOW is all we've got.
So if you are trying a dating website or dating generally, and you are fearful you are going to meet the same sort of guy, (instead of knowing that your champion can come) it is an indicator that you could do with healing, and releasing that 'baggage'.
What we think about comes to us.
NO new guy, has anything to do with the 'old guys' behaviour. And if you go to him holding that and actually say "Because JOE BLOGGS treated me like this, I am going to offer you a shadow of my former self and be scared that you will leave me." He may say (and rightly so) "I don't even know who JOE is, why are you making me him?"
When we are free, we are ourselves again (and so is everyone else). Energy work frees us to be stronger, calmer, lighter and more ready to take on life's challenges, opportunities and invitations. It's a peaceful release. Once you have burned off/released the baggage you don't need, acknowledged that No new person deserves to carry the perceived mistakes/wounds/trauma/fear that you went through with some other guy, and you don't want to hang on to it any more either, you will allow love in on many levels. And it will breathe life into all sorts of wonderful things.
It will bring you back to you and that's the someone you most needed to find in order to experience ALL the love that is everywhere for you.
Then, you are ready for someone who will treat you the way you want to be treated, and not the way you were treated.
Or maybe you will be so happy doing your own thing, you'll think about whether you have time for all that, and go on some amazing adventures. Never mind about the 'not many men around' thing.
You have lit your own candle and you can just radiate.
The lovely men are real, they aren't all on dating sites, they are in ordinary places where life just happens too.
And you are open to GREAT opportunities.
Is it time for the Goddess in you to be free?
I like the article I've linked here. It humanises things. And maybe it could show some people that they don't need to be so mean to each other in the name of God because even an Archbishop can have questions.
The God or G.O.D. as I sometimes refer to it, is within and around us. G.O.D is the Grand Orchestrated Design. Here is a little of my 'design' for you.
Remember when I was talking last week (on Facebook) about my healing being called Hand of Christ?
In a nutshell, someone came to me and told me that when I forget who I am, I am the cross that is shaped like this (demonstrating a cross that was long and fluted out slightly at the ends) - I was a bit taken aback. Then I went off to Australia, meditated and was told by Christ in my meditation to go shopping. When I went shopping I was gifted a cross by a jeweller. Worth AUD $80. A stranger.
(There is another layer to this story which makes it even more compelling, but I will leave that for another time.)
I get home to New Zealand, and in the course of my healing one day, a lady asked me what it was called and the guides told me it was called 'Hand of Christ'.
For me this was not necessarily helpful - I already have to explain energy healing to sceptics who don't understand how someone can wave their hand and release pain in a moment, and Christians who sometimes like to believe their Jesus is white, neatly packaged as a deceased and resurrected carpenter who, although they want him to return, could only return as a neatly packaged white carpenter belonging to their Church, or else he is not real and anyone 'claiming him' or claiming to 'be him' (which I am not) without the umbrella of their particular church might be a bad guy.
This is why I believe it's the illumination of kindness within us that is the Saviour of the World, I think if Christ showed up, people might tear him apart and pop him in tiny jars (just like they do with relics) so they could have a piece of him. Or worse, lock him up. Apparently there is a mental asylum in Jerusalem for people who think they are Christ.
Well, if you're still with me after all that.... the other Friday when I 'came out' on FB, I didn't tell you that I had painted a healing hand with hearts on it the day before and my Thursday client saw it, and said "Deb, that's the hand of Christ right there."
(I was being doubtful about my artwork, so haven't shared it with you - I told you I still need to get over myself.) That client triggered the coming out of the closet thing on Friday and Friday brought a major gift.
Friday went like this.....
Me: Coming out of closet, then leaving FB and getting on with the day. Tentatively thinking I may have left a small can of worms and challenging stuff open on FB, I saw some clients, then my 3pm lady arrived. She had been referred to me.
Her session was fairly huge and amazing and just toward the end (obviously in context), I found myself telling her that my healing was called Hand of Christ, the way the name showed up, the gifted cross and that today felt a bit special because I had come 'out of the closet' on Facebook.
My client wrote down her email address so I could add her to my newsletter list. And as I looked at it, I recognised the business name and my eyebrows almost went into my hairline. A huge rush of energy followed.
She just looked at me.
I explained her that through all this journey I had also been asked to write a very special book. And that I was guided to go to a particular shop in Auckland to buy a journal to write it in (it was handmade, leather, horrifically expensive and Italian) and at the time of purchase, the lady who sold it to me said, "this is a VERY special book, what are you doing with it?" and I had said, 'I feel silly saying this, but I have been asked to write a kind of modern day Gospel of Christ for 'normal' people, whomever and whatever they are.'
The deja vu feeling hit both of us at the same time.
We looked at each other in recognition and amazement as massive energy and the penny dropped for both of us.
On the day I came out on Facebook....? My 3pm client was the lady who SOLD me the book!
Sometimes I just shake my head, but apparently I am supposed to nod and get on with it.
Whatever 'it' is.
Deb Rowley, Energy Expert, Healer, Speaker & Coach