Darlings: There are several invitations for compassion in my newsfeed today. I've got caught up thinking I would comment and then decided against it more than once.
Instead of commenting all over the show - I'm just going to say this:
You are soooo loved. Even when you are not loving yourself, even when you feel like you are not loved by anyone, you are loved by more people than you think. When someone treats you badly and it feels like 'un-love' - give them a G I A N T swerve, and get on with life.
They must really be feeling awful/challenged/stressed/overwhelmed/hurt or suffering from some major feeling of lack in order to poke you with the grouchy stick. If they were in their 'right space' they probably wouldn't.
Don't catch their ball and play their game - swerve and keep cruising in your space of love. Felt or unfelt, seen or unseen, you are loved, and it's the radiance inside you that matters most.
Let them go in a pure, clear, radiant way - with love. They must need it.
CUT THE LABEL OFF. I've been writing rants about depression quite a bit lately - haven't printed any yet though - but obviously now it's the time to do it. I am totally comfortable with telling you that I have been 'triggered' into another one by the death of Charlotte Dawson.
Charlotte Dawson had a HUGE heart. And she was highly sensitive.
She did GREAT things for some people - lots of people, and she stuffed up sometimes too. She wasn't totally PC - could also be mean, bitchy etc - but only the perfect person is qualified to condemn another. She was real. No matter what she put on her skin, how much plastic surgery she may have had, she was as real as any other person. We are all real.
And she suffered. And man did she ever suffer being a bit of a tall poppy. Despite the fact that she often felt like a failure - she was an achiever.
Why have I posted a picture of a mountain instead of Charlotte? You'll find out below - and anyway - she is probably already all over the place in your newsfeed - so I don't have to.
She may have passed, very tragically today, but she has also given a gift. She has instantly become an even more poignant face than she already was for cyber bullying, media bullying and mental wellness.
People will debate, reminisce, reason and argue. People will say 'oh no, it was such a waste' but they weren't living her life, and they don't know how she felt. It was her journey to walk, and now she is finished. Some will scoff and others will hold compassion. But I think more will hold compassion.
She has held up a torch to darkness, to an underbelly we don't like to look at. This will be a change maker for many people - and in that way she gives even more meaning.
People who suffer often 'feel for others'. Sometimes too much.
I am not speaking on behalf of Charlotte, but I am aware that constantly pushing yourself, having to 'perform', self criticism, caring too much about what others think, the inclination to make the world a better place, to save/repair/fix people - all these things can make you extra absorbent to the stagnant, dirty or heavy energy that flies around looking for a resting place.
It is possible for some people to take on so much 'stuff' from other people that you don't know where they start and you end or vice versa - in the public eye, this is often a hazard.
No matter who you are, if you have had life trauma, hardship or arrived on the planet without your spiritual umbilical cord nice, bright, shiny and fully intact - you may be prone to being depressed.
If life has not gone the way you wanted it to - same goes.
If you repeatedly stare down the black dog, or feel like you are stuck down the hole, and you tell yourself that you are D-Pressed - you certainly have a 'situation'. But a situation is a space, a platform, a place, and you can move from there - even just inch by inch.
You can tell me it's a chemical imbalance - but I know it's energetic. Hyper sensitive people who continue to surround themselves with thoughts/things/food/people that crush the spirit - their wellness cannot help but be suppressed and that may well create/perpetuate or enhance a chemical imbalance.
It's likely you are not going to feel like sunshine and roses and be Mary Poppins.
Just like the chicken and the egg - the bottom of the hole, the black dog and the chemical imbalance or the shitty situations swirl around together. One creates the other and vice versa.
It doesn't matter which one comes first. It still feels horrible.
CUT THE LABEL OFF. Change your position/space/platform.
Some - not all of the media (the Press) have done an absolutely rip roaring ,STUNNING job of selling us depression. They have gone so far as to allow people to be attacked, indoctrinated, wooed even, (see drama tv etc) into believing that the world is full of terrible things/people and events. They print what works for them - I hope you don't think they all print the things that work for you. The moral compass is missing quite a lot of the time.
It can seem like the world is full of terrible things - but perspective - man it's a good thing to have.
The media has done an EPIC job of telling women there is a man shortage - that doesn't cheer any of them up - it's done an epic job of saying you have to have a 68 million dollar wedding - or have the smallest nose, biggest boobs, blondest hair, most measurable success. And you've got to be connected.
Call that thing COMPRESSION. It's suppression, oppression, repression, it's bullshit. Sometimes it's about identifying too much with pain, to too many people in pain, and just wanting to get your message across that the world has been bad to you. And that's ok for a while. Having a life crisis is your personal right. Many, many things are tough for us to deal with, but too often we just skip straight to the D word to identify our issues. That's like a certificate in misery.
Yep - if you've got that, people know how to 'get' you. And where you're coming from.
But if you were covered in bullshit (suppression, repression, oppression) - you would go and wash that off - right??
Change the game. YOU, not it - ARE the driver. You may need some training wheels to give you a hand, so here you are: CUT THE LABEL OFF.
Find your voice - EXPRESSION helps. If you must call it anything - call it COMPRESSION. This enables you to pick apart the crap and action your to-do for wellness list.
Do honour yourself and take a good hard look at what you concentrate on. If you open your mouth and complain regularly about life - do notice your words - these are your clues - and see what you can change about the situation.
By YOUR OWN WORDS you will either flourish or suffer.
DO NOT swallow the line that there is nothing you can do about it because it's bigger than you. It is not. This IS ANOTHER MYTH you have been fed. You may also believe that you have no choice - you may not turn into an instant Mary Poppins, and the world doesn't need a whole lot of them anyway, but something CAN improve. So changing that belief is your first step.
When I learned to ski - I was up the top of the Jungfrau in Switzerland. Please excuse my language, but that MOFO is 4000+ metres above sea level.
I looked down the mountain and almost peed my pants. My friend, who I was furious with for taking me so high when I 'knew' I couldn't ski, told me I only had to ski the one metre in front of me at any given time. And despite the fact that I was unbelievably mad with him, (and may have even wanted to belt him one) I knew it was true.
I did not know what I was doing, but I got down the mountain eventually using a learner technique called snowploughing. I hated it. I moaned, I bitched, I kicked up and carried on, (now that I think about it, I probably left a cloud of filthy energy there to be honest) but I got down the mountain. It seemed to take me Y E A R S. The first parts, of course were hardest. It was painful. Eventually it got easier. The following day I could ski a little bit, and the next day was better too.
(And one day later on - I could ski very well. I've wished many times to be back on that mountain.)
And in that way, bit by bit, just a few years ago, I also walked myself out of a horrible black hole too.
After years of life trauma and some horrific events. Although it obviously took longer, it was a similar kind of journey.
I never ever labelled myself and I think that was a crucial factor in my recovery. (Energy work would have been very useful - but I was a sceptic and never even imagined it was real. Go figure.)
Energy can be cleaned back to the source, and the source can be held to the light and gently loved back into balance.
You only have to ski the metre in front of you. And with someone helping you to snowplough, you can bitch, fight, moan, fuss and kick up a stink, or you can just let go and love it all the way out.
There is always help. Ask for that help if you need it. And be that help if someone else does. And know the journey is personal, and sometimes, no matter how much you want to give that help, some people cannot and will not accept it. Please be brave enough to be ok with that too. It takes a certain amount of courage to sit with another persons pain and allow it to simply be.
The world is filled with unbelievably amazing healers, YOU and I are two of them, (you may not know that about yourself yet) and all we are doing here, is helping to walk (or ski) each other home.
End of rant.
RIP Charlotte, thank you for your contribution to the planet. Peace at last. Go well.
Does it feel like the whole Universe is conspiring to keep you away from the office?
Try as you might, it seems you can't ARRIVE on time?
Do you feel like small arrows are piercing your back as you work?
Do you feel like you are sucked dry at the end of the day?
Is bully energy getting you down?
If you want to be more productive and work in a fresher, clearer space, then there are a few things that could be useful to know. Work stress can be in part, related to your energy field boundaries. The signal you are sending. The energy of the office, the people that you work with and the people who come in.
First steps first.
Some of this is up to you.
Building your boundaries is really important. Subtle changes make a massive difference, so first things first, get in early and have an overhaul. Just shift something round. Throw out or streamline the things that aren't completely necessary.
If you don't have a plant - get one.
We all know that indoor plants are a good idea. Why? Boston Fern, Peace Lily and the hardy Rubber plant rate highly with NASA for elimination of airborne toxins such as in the office environment.
(The three major indoor air pollutants are benzene, formaldehyde, and trichloroethylene.)
If things feel stale even though you have plants, your plants need a holiday. Repot them, so a new period of growth can occur or exchange them for some new ones and let the old ones rest for a bit in fresher air.
Your atmosphere: Clearing the air is a great idea. Lemongrass or grapefruit are BIG helpers in the office and here's why - both are uplifters. Grapefruit is gentle, uplifting, with its light citrus notes, it brings eyes wide open and restores balance. Lemongrass is widely used for its abilities to cut and clear through negativity. A little is better than a lot. Just a drop here and there, or if it's possible, use an electric burner for a short time in the mornings.
So that's your bit.
The work I do in offices helps to take off and clear away the old layers of emotional abuse, of pressure and stress and put you back in your shoes, so you can focus and get your job done.
If you have been targeted by someone or just feel overwhelmed in their space - I shift their energy out of yours, and work to clear and release the layers that attract that, put you back into your personal power space, help you hold your own energy - then give you the tools to help yourself.
In short, I put you into harmony with your job. (And then give the office an energetic scrub.)
What's the quicksand about? Well, if you are really not meant to be there - it's sometimes hard to get there. So we can also take a look at where you are meant to be, call in your new space and get you ready to step into it. In perfect grace.
Remember this - The Universe is answering YOU. So let's get your message clear and concise so it can answer your prayers to move forward.
021 726 276
Previous post - Last Newsletter here
There were bullies in the heart of my childhood.
And all of my childhood I struggled to make friends. I read well from a very early age, and life inside my books was rich, wild, wonderful and adventurous.
Life outside my books was painful. I didn't fit in. I felt unwanted, I was sensitive to many things I didn't understand, life was not very settled, I felt very awkward around people and I was a target for bullies.
Something was different about me. It that was just enough to get me into trouble.
Secret #1 Bullies love sameness.
Bullies love everyone to be the same, because when everyone is the same, then they all act the same and that makes bullies comfortable. They search out difference and poke fun at it because they feel threatened by it.
Secret #2 Bullies are not happy.
The thing inside a bully that makes a bully pick on someone else, feels so disgusting to carry around, that they are trying to put it down somewhere. They want you to 'take' it from them. It's a feeling, like a rottenness - not a physical object. It is temporarily fed when they make other people feel as bad as they do, but it's nearly always hungry.
Secret #3 Bullies are ugly.
Oh, they can sometimes look pretty on the outside, for sure. But take a close look, that prettiness doesn't run too deep, and the good news is this - if a bully keeps pulling THAT face when they look at people and treat people badly - that face just might be the (wrinkle) face that they will end up wearing when they are old. The ugliness, badness or wrongness inside you that they 'seem' to be pointing out to you - IS THEIRS - it's ALL theirs. THEY are the ones who have to fix something, not YOU. They are sometimes masquerading as clever, but being a bully is not clever. It's a waste of character.
Secret #4 Bullies actually feel somehow disconnected. They try to reconnect by stealing energy from people who are connected. People who are connected are often connected to love, to nature, to kindness, sometimes they are connected to red hair, (red hair is very magical) and they can even be connected to freckles.
Secret #5 Bullies can't handle it when you know the truth about them, so you have to be a bit gentle with them, even though they are bullies. You can't tell them that you know they have these secrets.
You just have to remember how awful they feel and remember they are trying to eat your 'good' feeling. (If they felt good, they wouldn't do it would they?) Keep your good feeling with you and treasure it. Not everyone can deal with your goodness, kindness or indeed, if you have it, your red hair.
That's their problem, not yours, your individuality is what makes the world go round - it's your own personal torch, that helps you light your path.
Secret #6 Later on, some bullies are really sorry because they realise how awful they were and they were actually being bullied themselves. And sometimes they even apologise. Sometimes bullies just need kindness and someone to care about them, they can heal and so can you. You don't need to fix them though, and this is important to know. If you are consistently being bullied, get help.
The bullies that were mean to me, hung around in a big group and took turns saying super mean things one at a time. It made them feel better. And it made me feel really awful, really awful, isolated and scared, but at the same time I knew something about them. I knew that the one who was meanest - also frightened the other bullies, and some of them joined her because of their fear of going against the crowd.
What if she picked on them? They would have H A T E D it. And that small knowing helped me.
A whole group of people who need to pick on one person are sick.
Don't be a part of it.
The world only progresses when someone is brave enough to put their hand up and share their different idea. Our planet won't survive if we are all the same. Our planet won't survive if we all pick on each other. If you pick on someone, they might not survive. (Ask yourself why you need to and heal that) Because whether it's school, or the workforce, in home, or out in public somewhere - you don't know what that other person is going through - and one day - they might even save your life.
Your Challenge: Today think of all the ways that someone who dared to be different changed the world you live in. Think of explorers, inventors, innovators and scientists. See if you can name ten.
And then go out and celebrate your difference, because you never know what you could do that will change someones world.
If you know a friend who could benefit from these secrets please pass them on.
The terrible things that happened to me in my life, which made me feel isolated and scared, also increased my sensitivity to people - now it has also helped me to save other people that have felt really bad.
So what someone poked fun at me for, is my greatest gift. So I really mean it - celebrate your difference, because one day you will realise it's your greatest gift too.
Here is a (4 minute) video about how doing something that seems small can make a BIG difference to someone else. I hope you really enjoy it.
And keep this in mind: What other people think of you is none of your business - it's what you think of you, and what you do that counts the most. Let kindness be your guide.
Have a WONDERFUL day.
021 726 276
Deb Rowley, Energy Expert, Healer, Speaker & Coach