Kintsugi - the Japanese art of mixing resin (resilience) with powdered gold (life lessons) to make that which is perceived to be 'broken' more beautiful...
I love it.
If you don't think the life lessons you have learned, survived or overcome are the most wonderful defining gifts, perhaps you could take another look at them from this angle...
In my eyes, the beauty, richness and depth of character reached from getting to the other side of the ditch, is gold. You may have felt shattered, even been battered and bruised, but when you have carried yourSelf and your body out the other side - it's that experience that makes you a writer, a poet, a teacher, a storyteller, a nurturer, a leader, a friend, and inspirator, and so much more.
It's an honour to know you.
Threads of Life
She sinks inside herself. Discouraged and lost in regret and self recrimination. And finds she is not alone.
"Have you come for the dance?" he asks.
"What dance?" she replies, "I don't understand. I don't know who you are. I can't see a dance, all I can see is black and dark, I've stuffed things up and been stupid, and people have done bad things to me and to each other. Terrible things happen. Life is tough."
"Ah", he says. "Those people are teaching each other and you too. Teaching about love and pain, about how you can all make better choices, they are teaching how to think on your feet, how to have faith, how being saved at the last minute is a very real thing that happens, and about how you can cause great harm to yourself if you don't speak up. There are no mistakes, you are just learning."
She catches her breath. He has her attention, after all, she has nothing else to do.
"It is a dance because each person is crucial to complete a cycle. Each one is a link in an infinite chain reaction, weaving their way in and out, like a pattern in a fabric, and in that way they are dancers.
The man that gives way for the rushing woman, is in the right place at the right time to save someone's life. The woman who gives a gift to the elderly neighbour, thwarts an opportunistic thief, who sees a kindness in action, and is inspired to change his mind."
He goes inside himself for a moment and reflects, finding the words.
"Sometimes tragedy opens the door for great kindness and a sense of stronger community. Even though It can be difficult, it's important in these times to remain open to good.
These people who create wonderful things for each other, are all picking up their threads of life. The Threads of Life are very, very important. They are the same ones that provide people with nourishment from their spirits.
When the threads are scattered, knotted or broken, life cannot flow as easily. This is what closure does, sometimes it causes people to wander and stretch their threads very thinly, but they can always be called back, unless it's their time to pass from this world. In cases of death, the thread is snapped completely, as the body is not needed any longer."
She absorbs, and seeing how this opening and closing has worked in her life, she nods for him to continue.
"The threads roll over and under each other, as the people go about their business. In this way, a blanket is woven by humanity for humanity. Faith is shared, created, restored. Possibility is birthed.
Connection between people is the music for the dance, making unconditional relationships and extending kindnesses - this creates harmonious, beautiful music and makes the blanket soft. There are enough weavers now, and many more arriving daily to make this blanket enveloping, inviting and nurturing.
Some call themselves Lightworkers, but really it is all kinds of people doing and sharing good. Story tellers, artists, carers, gardeners, builders, mothers, fathers and poets. They sprinkle the blanket with the warmth of heart and courage, the magic of moonlight, starlight, the lilt and uplift of sunshine and daisies. And with the most important thing - the promise of a new dawn."
He pauses to see if she is still with him, and sees that her minds eye is filled with images, carried on a blissful journey of creating, imagining and remembering, a vivid landscape of love and caring.
A softness has returned to her.
Her vibration is rising as he speaks.
"Theirs is a sacred task, for they are removing the compression that has been laid down upon humanity.
Wouldn't you agree that sharing love and wisdom has always been the greatest grace available to mankind?"
She nods again.
"This blanket is ready for you now. Do you take your part as a weaver in this magical dance?"
"Yes." The faintest whisper.
"Then there is nothing for you to do but allow the memories of your kindnesses to wash over you.
To illuminate your life by engaging with the kindnesses others have done, for you and for all of humanity - and to allow this to also wash over you, and bathe your threads. Breathe and allow. As you do, they are becoming lighter and lighter, silvering in the sunshine of this infinite grace."
"Sit now and feel the warmth of the blanket. Feel the light cleansing you and drawing away false ideas of wrongs, slights, and limitations. This light is love.
And by your own remembering that you are an expression of this love, you are freed."
And with that, she understands that they are One. This is not her alone, this is 'us'.
She rests, wrapped in gratitude and the softest of blankets, with a full heart, inwardly experiencing the raw beauty of the dance - and she smiles - as she wonders what took her so long.
In the distance, there is music.
All her life she had been hiding inside herself and nobody knew.
All her life she had wondered why the people around her that said they were her family, seemed foreign to her sometimes. People who were meant to be her teachers didn't understand her.
She felt fear and lack most of the time, unless she escaped. She escaped best to the grass and the clouds and the trees and the sky. She escaped to the whisper, the silence, the roar, the bounty and the inexorability of nature. Nature knew her best. Nature was her home.
In nature, she wished for her wings to grow back and to lift her away from this place.
Sometimes she even wished for someone to steal her.
Then she grew up. At 37 years old she discovered that people had been stealing her all her life, and she had been letting them. She had no boundaries, and gave herself away, trying to please people and make the pain stop. It didn't stop.
In her confusion she had thrown away good things and kept others that hurt. She tried to make amends. She did things for people, she gave away things, she gave away money. She waited and waited for a friend, or for a partner to see that she was real and worthy.
It didn't happen. People she loved left her, and took things. And took her for granted. Her story was awful.
Until the day she started to say No.
No built a small boundary inside her first. No protected her from further pleasing of the others.
No helped her to please herself.
All this time she thought life was about giving and she realised she had starved herself by giving in the wrong order. She said No again and again and took her time doing things for herself.
The others were angry. They accused her of being selfish.
And she was. She withdrew the energy streams she had been sending out everywhere and she sent them into her heart where they belonged.
The others raged. She had pulled out their power lines, their plugs and hooks. It hurt and almost drained her of courage.
She wavered a little, feeling bad for them, but listened to her heart and realised if she did not serve herself, they were going to suck her dry of all her goodness and she needed to survive. She no longer felt responsible for their happiness. Her shoulders grew lighter. Her heart grew full.
She was self-ish. There was no one left. But she was free.
It was incredibly liberating.
And then the flow started. At first it was a trickle, little by little the people came, seeing she valued her Self, they acknowledged and responded to her value. She invested in herself by blessing the ones who were present before and who taught her to value herself, and the ones who understood came back.
She kept moving forward into an ever increasing stream of new people, new adventures and wonder.
The flow of people coming to her became a deluge and she realised she was not only worthy - she had a purpose and the purpose was to free the others.
She discovered that all the self doubting in the world was in fact, real selfishness because it caused light to be dim, and only held others back from their healing and growth.
She finally understood, she was birthed in love. No matter where she sprang from, how life shaped her, she chose to be here. She was not what had been 'done to her', she was an immaculate idea, divine in her inception, and so she shed the tight constraining bonds of the chrysalis that was her story, grew her wings and claimed the parts of herself that frightened others. She was creative, resourceful, wild, magical and amazing, no longer held back by thoughts of not-good-enough.
She had come to the planet to be a guide, a way shower, finally she knew she was a lighthouse for others, to alert them, help them to safety and to hold a space for them to grow and blossom through their storms.
She accepted her mission and opening her arms as widely as they could go, she laughed and embraced it with all her heart, exultant in the recognition that her souls greatest journey was also her homecoming.
It wasn't meant to be a walk in the park. Lighthouses are made of strong stuff.
She stepped up. And stood. Claimed her ground as solid rock and shone.
And guide she did.
If you were your own True Love, how delighted you would be with your own quirkiness.
How beautiful you would find your curves, how courageous your scars and your marks left by life's wounding and how very magnificent the well earned stripes of your
stretch marks would look.
How gentle and patient you would be with yourSelf if something felt sad.
How carefully you would choose your words.
You would find yourSelf so funny, so beautiful, so kind and so caring. You would be
awed with what a great person you are, even after all the challenges you have
had. You would tell yourSelf not to be hard on yourself; that you always did the
best could, that you are worth the very best life has to offer, and you would
make sure you gave precious time to yourSelf.
You would surround yourSelf with good people and good ideas.
You would find yourSelf lovely little things to do, you’d light yourself a candle,
you would take yourSelf constantly out on dates, fill your life with little
kindnesses and you would give yourSelf the best experience ever of love,
encouragement and delight.
You would adore yourSelf and want to hear what your heart has to say.
You would dream of the best things you could do, the best places you could go, and
you would laugh about some of the dreams. And some would enter your heart.
You’d be ever so grateful for the miracle of you.
And if you did that? You would be filled with light, with love, with encouragement, with
You would be free to be the You that You really are, cherished, honoured and loved.
You would be the One you can lean on, the One you trust, the One you seek
out. The One you are ‘looking for’ would be right on the end of your nose.
The other end, not the one we traditionally mean.
When you are that One, what often happens, is your resultant satisfied, joyous heartsong of overflowing love that resonates out into the Universe calls with the right harmony for a resonant heart to hear it.
In order to find this, find yourSelf. You are your own most precious gift.
Pour all that love you are waiting to give someone into yourSelf, step into your own awesome sunshine and see the truth of your delicious magnificence one yummy drop at a time.
I’d like that.
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Deb Rowley, Energy Expert, Healer, Speaker & Coach