Do not complain about your life until you investigate the ideas you have. Make sure your ideas serve your wellness - if they do not - THROW THEM OUT. Get new ideas or leave room for the birth of inspiration. Bitterness will never make you better, or better than anyone else. Avoid toxic conversations and situations. Understand that when two people are angry and you don't like it - you are the one who needs to do something about it. More anger feeds the war, put your weapons down. And leave the battleground. The idea that someone has wronged you is sort of spiritually flawed because every step of your journey has been your teacher, if you did not learn from it - it's guaranteed you have another lesson coming. Learn fast - requiring the same lesson over and over is not bad luck. Know that if 'love' requires selling yourSelf short - it's not love - and do something about it. Be a friend to yourSelf. If you have no friends and you don't like yourSelf either - you know where to start. Embrace every day as a delivery vessel for new possibilities. Recognise and honour your values and your virtues. Dream a dream and take some steps towards it. Be just a little braver than you think you can be. Feed your inner child as often as possible. Light a candle for yourSelf every day. (or when you remember) Find something to be thankful for. Do something for somebody else. Make praise one of your hobbies. Speak your truth. If you love someone - tell them - a moment of such courage could change your life forever. If someone doesn't love you - move on. The person who will love you is waiting. Taking the ghost of your old partner into your new relationship is one of those ideas you need to examine. Remember you have a purpose on this planet. Know that miracles already surround you. See the beauty in small things. Heal yourSelf in nature. At least go for a walk, hug a tree, swim in the sea or lay on the grass. Laugh uproariously. Share your stories of hope and love. Inspire. Act on your hunches. Smell the roses. Paint with your hands. Meditate and rest when you need to. (you need to often) Love wildly, passionately, deeply, gently, loyally and often. Give your smiles away. Surrender everything you can do nothing about. And surrender all your pain and all your (perceived) unhealed relationships. Find out who you are. Do that NOW. Your joyfulness heals the planet. If you don't know how to start finding your joy - observe puppies and small children playing with water. Get over yourSelf. Give with grace. Receive with grace. Be pleased to know the end of the world is not today. You have both less time and more time than you think. So hurry up and... slow down. Eat honey. If 2000 year old honey is still edible and if 'you are what you eat' is really true, then honey IS the bees knees. You are each and every one of you a gift filled with gifts. Treasuring yourSelf will help you to honour your gifts. Drink more water. (The 42 Commandments are now available as a pack of cards @ just $42 NZD a pack plus postage. To order yours, click the picture or the red link below to go to the webstore.) I'm wishing YOU a miraculous day!
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Here is a little dabble with 'what we put up with' from negative people. If people don't like you or if you have a consistent experience that feels sharp, pointy or draining with a friend - I give you permission – in case you are not - o relieve yourSelf temporarily of your good manners (just put them to one side) and take a good hard look at a couple of things: A. Why your 'friend' (and we could insert family member or partner here too)
feels the need to download on you or bring you down. B. Why you are allowing it to happen. Because here is what I have learned... Someone once labelled me a 'people pleaser' and I felt it was a very negative judgement. I worried about what was wrong with me and after I investigated myself, I realised the lady who called me that, was a negative person and was challenged by the fact that I liked people and people liked me. She was a grumpy lady. Not to everyone. To me. All I was doing was making her a cup of tea - I wasn't deliberately trying to 'please' her. And nothing I did was going to please her - she wasn't WIRED for it. Ejecting her from my field eased life immensely. I continued to do nice things for people - I am here to share kindness - and eventually realised that she had given me a gift. My boundaries weren't strong enough and I was an over-giver. Giving to a person whose hobbies include ungrateful fault finding is not necessarily helping them or you. I had the right to be who I was and she had the right to be who she was. If she wanted to be different or happy, that was her responsibility - not mine. If she could label me - I would not label her, but I could certainly define her role in my life. Name calling isn’t nice, but definition gives you a platform to work from. It was a relief for me to let her own her own grouchiness. And I could step back from it. Maybe she might learn from it too, maybe not, but - and this is crucial here - her learning was not my responsibility or any of my business. Neither was helping her and so stepping back without being unpleasant, was best for me. In ejecting her from my field I had exercised my right to be selective over the good manners I had, good manners which were causing me to believe that I should stick around while she was being awful. These were simply my programming and beliefs disempowering me. Once I stood up and internally said “Hey Honey – that’s not my stuff” I discovered my internal compass worked better. Another gift. The unpleasantness ceased to flow over me. See how this works? And now, I can say thank you for her gift. It helped me discover a stronger part of me. Are you doing your ‘duty’ sticking around with a consistently negative person, and blaming yourself, when you could just let them own it, deal with it – (or not) and be free to be yourself? Or are you raining on someone else’s parade because of your own pain? Can you stop and investigate what your real issue is? There might be a good opportunity for growth in it. Are you no longer a match for the friends around you? People do leave your life. Sometimes letting go or stepping back necessary, but painful, - it doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means it’s time for you to broaden horizons and have different experiences. Don’t cling, there is always a gift in letting go - it opens your arms to receive more. And as you know when one door closes another door opens and it's true what they say "what other people think of me is none of my business." If you are having trouble letting go or wanting to grow stronger boundaries in a painful space - I work with that. Email me for more info via the button below. Deb x What if your child is obsessed with something that you don’t approve of?
And so you divert them away from it because you believe it’s a waste of time - or it doesn’t suit current or traditional thinking - or it doesn’t suit you to help them pursue it. You may feel judged by other parents around you because of their hobby or obsession. But what if that hobby or obsession was the key to their life’s purpose? What if they were a pioneer? What if it takes them 40 years to get back to the suppressed part of themselves and what if they never get back? Did this happen to you? Are you allowing it to happen to someone else? I discussed this idea with my husband James this and he made a very valid point - in New Zealand if that obsession was rugby – a parent might drive that child all over the country. Many do. Maybe your child's obsession doesn’t suit you - but what are the broader implications or opportunities for your child in this expanding world? Their job description may not have been invented yet. Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs and many other people were probably considered to be 'obsessed. I’m sure we are all grateful for that. And we are all communicating in this forum because of their work. Thank God for obsessed nerds' and people we don’t understand pursuing their dreams to fruition. When I was a child, there wasn’t a name for the work I do now. So please don’t try to put anyone in a box - we all have time for that later. Live the fullest expression of who you are and allow others to do the same regardless of how young or old they are. Meeting them may turn out to be the biggest privilege of your life. Deb X Two words combined together are often abbreviated.
Do not - becomes don't. Can not becomes can't. I discovered another sneaky one just a moment ago via a download of information while I was blissfully tootling around the house... BLame. While you BLame you are restricted from forward movement. It's simple. You can't BLame and simultaneously be free. If you BLame you will Be Lame in some area of your life without a doubt. In a way you are actually the keeper of your own spiritual set of shackles. So can you do it? Can you free yourself of pointing the finger? My father always said 'when you point your finger, you have three pointing back at you.' SUPER important to make sure you know what you are doing and that you are FAULTLESS! What would you love to be free to do? And what do you have to let go of in order to create that? Because when you really focus, all that shrapnel from life disappears and you can enjoy real success. Deb X 021 726 276 Next post: Feeling negatively better |