UNCONSCIOUS MAGIC: Some of the most amazing things come out of the most unexpected places.
I started my global healing business in my garage over ten years ago. I made it from a dream on my vision board, and when I was finished it had silk curtains, French doors, a courtyard and a beautiful vibe.
It was a delicious, magical haven, created from multiple synchronicities, full of gorgeous things and experiences for gorgeous people.
At that time, it was the future vision combined with the spirit of my 'now' business that egged me on. I had the sketchiest roadmap and massive trust in the bigger picture.
(Before I started it was full of old tat that I sold on Trade Me.)
I took my handbag to work every morning, went home (a little over 3 metres) for lunch and worked till late.
Now and then, in between clients, I meditated in the hammock. 😆
On the end ceiling was a gold script that a signwriting friend made which said 'Follow your bliss and the Universe will open its doors for you where there were only walls.'
The Universe loves clear messages. ❤️
The Deb that dreamed the dream and stepped on into it, is one of the elements of me that I am SO grateful for.
There were days when she didn't know how the hell it was all supposed to come together, but like the Field of Dreams movie - she built it, and they came on in. Sometimes slower than I wanted them to, but I was pulled along by the spirit of something much bigger and so through the times when others thought I was crazy, I kept listening and kept going.
Your human dream is much smaller than divine possibility and that's why it's so important to listen to your heart, surrender, take action and allow your miracles to unfold.
Several incarnations later, here we are in Kinloch practically living on a golf course. Who knew when I bought clubs years ago and hardly used them, that I'd be living right by the Golf course? Who knew, when I created a jewellery workshop and bought all those tools that one day James Rowley would be creating glorious jewels with them? I used them, packed them up and they just sat there. Waiting.
And while I'm SO freaking grateful to the beautiful flow of clients who helped and all the people who came along and offered their kindness along the way.... this is about YOU!
I keep meeting fabulous women (and men) who don't realise how magical they are. They wish they were. It all sounds exciting and one day they might be and they're trying so hard. Some of them are walking around holding life up and it's all SO hard because they're not using their magic consciously so they are literally carrying the world, when they could just. put. it. down. Some of them are really young, thank goodness they're learning now - lots are 42, 43, 44 when I ask them how old they are, and many are just discovering a little delicious hint of their magic at a much more ripe age. :)
Just like them, I didn't know I was magical. Even though lots of magical things were happening to me, I was literally the last person who found out. I thought everyone's head worked the same way mine did, and I had no idea that energy healing was real. I didn't believe in any of that stuff. I chugged painkillers for my sore back from carrying literally everything. I came last. Take that as you will.
These days of course - I teach people how their magic amplifies their enjoyment of life and all of their results.
We've all got some kind of dream inside us, and you can bet your ass the dream, when allowed to breathe, has the ability to provide you with an endless stream of miracles.
You're already transforming, or you wouldn't be reading this. Don't wait for a good time to start, or for the approval of others who can't see your vision, listen loudly to your spirit, divine and follow the inbuilt design of your version of deliciousness, dream your dream, build your vision - let it speak to you and pull you along.
It's time to step in, feel and listen and let the picture almost draw itself.
How long will it take you to know love does not contract?
Love is expansive. Love flowers. Love remains open in the face of anything life throws at it, because its nature is in alignment with moving forward, with truth and with growth.
Love encourages and replicates itself, love is a bottomless well of wonder that continues to give and give and explore and find a way through.
Love is the truth you've been looking for, it can find a way through anything, even the seemingly impossible moment.
Love knows you do not need to scream and cry and bleed on the floor to grow in your body, mind, and spirit. Love does not shoot people down in flames to force them through some kind of idealistic, unrealistic birth canal. Great love sometimes steps away for a time, holding space and inviting you to catch up with the truth of it. You'll be back to it when you are ready and notice you have strayed away.
Love is a heat-seeking missile of freedom and sometimes, you will be made uncomfortable by love as it tries to spring you free from a situation that isn't right for you.
If you dive into what you are really feeling, you'll know there is a great deal of difference between having an opinion and a choice and being given your opinion and no choice. Love always gives a choice.
The idea of love can be terrifying because it can seem unreachable, but the truth is, we are made of love, it liberates us in ways we can't even imagine. It's our liberation we sometimes find terrifying and that's why we are afraid to reach - we are terrified in case it's not there.
It's always there. It's the energy that grows trees and grass and flowers without pushing and forcing. It invites you to check and see if you are fully standing in your own love space.
Do you have the power to move with it? Or have you put it down for a moment?
Do you currently truly have the freedom to choose for yourself or are you working someone else's story or agenda?
Do you currently have your own opinion and choice or are you being given them?
Are you free?
Love is freedom.
Love is no ownership, only being the captain of your OWN ship. Love is not painful, the stories we put around it, the shadow we bring to it is.
Your task is simply to uncover where love is not and shift enough to allow its radiance to shine in.
It's easy, despite everything you may have been told.
THE HELL YOU ARE DOING.
The Goddess sits still.
The Goddess sits still because she knows her power.
She knows her worth and her value.
She knows her bliss.
She knows that lies fall away and truth remains.
She knows the essence and power of pure love.
She knows everything she needs will come to her if she sits still amid the din and the hubbub of the daily grind.
She knows when to stand up and when to step back.
The Goddess knows energy.
She is beloved.
She is the calm in the storm of life.
She awaits your attention.
She is a guardian of your gifts and holds in her hands, a bouquet of your gifts, magic, light, and power.
She is the keeper of your divine, creative force, the wild and wonderful part of you you’ve been too scared to meet.
She sees it all.
She is the voice who says ‘REALLY?’ when you know you are settling and trying to stay safe.
She knows when you are using escapism to avoid taking responsibility.
She is the voice you would like to use, but are a little worried no one will be able to handle.
She is the one who tugs at your heartstrings when you are called to do something your human self explains away as selfish. She is the one who leaves you with an ache as a reminder that you did not choose yourself.
She wonders when you will.
She has seen it all before, has walked with you in many worlds, is ageless and therefore has P L E N T Y of time.
She also has questions for you.
How much time do you think you have this time? What the hell are you doing blocking your joy and your growth with your triggers?
You don’t have time for this standing about.
Put it aside and rise.
Fear, apologising for existing, stories and wounds are all detractors from you shining your light.
Put it aside and rise.
The hell you are doing is:
Getting up close and personal with your wounds, fear and stories when you don’t need them.
Blocking your joy by revisiting all this energy without understanding its spiritual value to you.
Allowing others to make choices for you when you are the ONE.
Giving away your power.
Ignoring the Goddess that resides within you while you run around scattering your energy in all directions.
It does not have to be as hard as you are making it.
She IS YOU. You have the power to fully engage with her, create YOUR heaven on earth and completely change your wounds and stories into history, gifts, growth, victory, and legend.
She is the phoenix who burns away fear and rises from the ashes.
She waits for you to rise to meet her eyes.
She has time.
Light up your life. Hook up your magic and BLAZE your trail.
CHANGING THE SHEETS (AND OTHER STORIES):
When a relationship has ended there are two significant energetic things I often discover people don't know about.
1. The bedding needs to go. Sleeping in the energy of the old relationship doesn't open the door for the new one. I know buying new bedding is a commitment sometimes, but get a bit at a time until the old is gone. It's ok to pass it on, but don't stay under it or in it yourself and as it goes, say to yourself and the world in general, 'I am releasing the story from this, it is free to go and so am I'. I'm including pillows in this as our pillows are receptacles for all the 'stuff' that goes on in our heads.
2. Rings, jewellery, anything that ties or binds around your body. You are no longer tied to or by this person and neither are they by you and that practice of wearing the old wedding rings, on the other hand, is only about thriftiness. It's a reminder that something didn't work out and it's an idea from way back when divorcees were loose women people might get a shot at. Let go. Park them elsewhere. Do a trial run for three weeks if you are reticent about this. Think about remodelling them if you want to, but it's just so much better not to identify yourself as 'once tied to so and so'.
Spiritually, energy can be picked up through these items, they tell a story. If it's a story of old love and deep sustaining support - then all good. But if you are man-hating, yet still wearing the diamonds, I have to tell you Zsa Zsa Gabor is not your idol. Let them go. They have a negative impact on your energy field and they hold your ankles while you are trying to move forward. It makes me feel yuck even writing about it, but it's important info.
MAN HATING: The other thing is, the man-hating, is an energy that orbits around you. If you objectify a man as a pain-related experience - the universe is not going to bring you one. The universe is not about to give you pain on purpose - it gives you pain to let you know something is finished. Like when you put your hand in the fire and it gets burned - you're supposed to be removing it. This is what happens when the universe is trying to get through to you about what your boundaries are meant to be. You then have to go install boundaries and start from there.
You're not here to fix/save or see the potential in someone, you're here to do the work on yourself so you can fully stand in your power and be seen like a great big lighthouse.
Man haters attract woman haters because the universe loves people with the same vibe to hang out together. We get bitter or we get better. Get better. You are more likely to fully love and be fully loved for everything you are if you are not thinking you are going into a war zone in man land.
Also: People who tell you relationships are hard work do not have the key to a totally healthy one. All the rationalisation in the world is nothing to do with your vibe in a space. It's not mechanics and you are not a car.
Shut your head up and listen to what your vibe is trying to say. Walking away is an act of self love. You do not have to pay penance for a decision you made when you did not know what you wanted. Warring in a partnership now means warring in a partnership later.
*Also need to pop in here that ogling the kind of man you don't believe you are ever going to have messes with your vision board and requests from the universe.
WHEN IT'S NEARLY DONE: Hanging around like a tiny candle with your light squished while you try to do a shitload of repair work while someone else isn't bothering, is about not letting your light attract what you're truly asking for in your core - and is not about healing - it's a major act of self-sabotage.
SORRY NOT SORRY (WITH LOVE) I am feeling like I am probably going to push a few buttons and I want to apologise, but I don't want to apologise as much as I want you to honour your heart and your whole energy field and to be honest with yourself. It's perfectly ok not knowing what to do next, but I'd suggest a clean, clear conversation with yourself about what you want, including what you could do in order to improve your own offering on the planet - how you stand - what your goals are - what your dealbreakers are and where your boundaries need to be.
A huge amount of stress is caused when people decide they have invested THIS much into a relationship, time, money and stuff and so they think they 'should' just keep going because it 'looks right' but it feels so wrong. Please listen. Love. OR even 'please listen, Love'.
ENERGETIC ORBITS: I wrote some time last week about orbits and this is a prime example. It takes a lot of balls to shift out of a relationship when everyone else is comfortable with it.
If you're dying on the inside, then something HAS to shift - for your health as much as for anything else.
There's a bit of difference between being energetically unclear, and being in the wrong space. Many women I know have cried themselves to sleep (and men too actually) at night wondering what the hell to do next, then they've put themselves on the back burner and got on with disappearing while they look after others. This works for a while, I know because I have done it. But there generally comes a day when it all implodes. Sometimes the other person stands up and gets out and that changes the orbit.
We often don't know what to do when the orbit shifts - everyone in it needs to reset themselves and a lot of people can find it inconvenient and some can be downright crappy and judgy but it's an important part of moving forward - even if it's happening to you and you don't like it. x
CHOOSING: You do what you need to do for you. Work out whether you're giving away all your power and need to take it back by reestablishing your boundaries - or whether you really need to step out. (I have a post here somewhere called the Pancake - I'll find that, it's relevant.)
Partnerships, relationships, marriages and family - any social situation has an orbit. You can really see what's going on in them if you step back and observe, and if you do, you may wonder what the hell you are doing, taking yourself into some of them.
Courageously be ok to hold conversations about what is right for you if you are honouring yourself. Ask for what you want. Be ok to step out of the ones that are wrong for you now - that's not saying they weren't right at some stage - and jump into the ones that feel like they serve. It will stop an energy drain and start to build your energy back. Bless the ones you leave with everything you have, they have served you for a time, even if you don't realise it right now.
ENERGY IS THE BIGGEST CURRENCY we have on this planet and it's all completely related to your flow. The little orbits that don't fit, pull on your power. Love everyone, but love yourself enough to choose. You'll set an example for others to follow about honouring themselves if they are wise enough to also step back instead of being caught up in the drama.
We're learning this human stuff, but love, is actually easy.
Everyone just wants love and the whole of the universe is trying to take us all there. We don't work hard to get to love, or to joy - they are present - we just need to take note of where they are patiently waiting for us, agree to join them and take the steps we need to take to allow that.
Potential is a potent shell. I feel like I've only just started stepping into mine, but it's up to us as individuals to fill ourselves up and grow into them. We may and we may not.
It's incredibly rewarding of course, to step in and start.
Shall we? Let's go.
the million dollar healer
This post is part of some older writing I have done, from our relationship seminars and in response to multiple questions I have received over the last few days. If you're having a shift - you're not the only one it's happening to. If you want to discuss - yell out. Let's get clear.
As children we had great meditation places to go to. Paddocks. Lawns. Swimming pools. Beaches. Trees and time. We flew kites and LOVED the way they danced on the breeze. Laughed, cried and howled when they smashed themselves to bits in a gust.
We climbed trees. We made up stories, games and swung high. We slid on the wet grass down hills or rolled down them. Played in dens, made forts, jumped in puddles, made homemade stilts, dammed creeks, caught eels, wiped our hands on our jumpers and ate the lollipops found in a pocket even when they had a bit of fluff stuck to them.
We often did just what we wanted to do, had pleasure for pleasure's sake and all of it was free.
We said Abracadabra and we knew magic was real because we were surrounded by it. <3
Then we grew up and along the way, we did a bit of forgetting. And now, more than ever, it's time to remember.
As the spirit journey unfolds, that kind of childhood meditation is most useful, most grounding and when you're grounded firmly, in a fertile place - your own seed grows and blossoms.
I find the best place to find myself is in the trees and the grass and the sky. The echoes of my inner child are still skipping in the places that feel like freedom and feeling awe in the mighty power of thunderstorms, joy in the colours of the rainbow, and rejuvenation in the sea.
Freedom, joy, awe, and rejuvenation are meditation and also a healing - so simple and free.
It's all there where you left it - a standing invitation you can accept at any time you choose. It's time for us to go back to the heart of who we are. To set ourselves free in nature and release the cynicism - after all, what is it doing for anyone apart from separating them from joy?
Instead of saying to yourself that children don't know what the real world is like, see the delight of small children, embrace their magic, release resistance to experiencing pleasure, make the time, nothing is more important.
Allow their wisdom to teach you and their joy to be the bridge that helps you back to find your own.
So here's my question to you:
What one magical childhood thing could you allow yourself to do, be or experience today to amplify the tiny delights and magic that feed your soul?
In love and love heart scribbles,
On this day
against all odds
and plans we made
all of our lives,
you and I are right here
together in the moment
in the lines of this writing.
For a moment,
I have your attention
and in this moment
I ask that you close your eyes,
breathe deeply in
and slowly out
and centre yourself
I am holding this moment
for you, so you can
take it back for yourself.
and still yourself
Come back to you, to yourself.
Then dive in.
Let everything else slide away
just now and feel
the immense space
of possibility that is present
Within you is
a vast universe
There are gifts you have
not yet unwrapped.
Welcome them now.
Breathe deeply again
into that space.
Your are held, but not bound,
in this moment.
You are loved
and not limited.
I do not need anything from you.
This is wide open,
Can you feel it?
I'm reminded today that sometimes the process takes over and people lose sight of their progress.
*I was washing grapes in the kitchen sink when that came about.
Rinse, rinse, rinse, I was washing all the grime and bits off when a HUGE black spider came up out of the bunch I was holding and said 'MAMMA MIA!!' just a split second before my mouth went into an O shape and my eyebrows went into my hairline and I said 'FARK!'
Anyway, sometimes, diving in and having a good scrub in the name of moving forward, get the grape, the trophy, whatever -- or taking action steps to move forward means that a biggie comes up out of the closet.
Would you prefer that spider stayed in? Hell no.
It has to come up. So figure out what it's teaching you.
The spider is part of the process. That it came up at all means you are making progress.
If you didn't make the effort to wash the grapes it would still be hanging out there. Secretly making its webs in your meal.
It's a bit of a challenge from the Universe to make sure you really want what you want.
Do you still want those grapes?
Instead of grabbing the spider and holding it for days and screaming about being stuck in the process, remember the spiders greatest wish is to evacuate the area a screaming human is inhabiting. Carry it gently to a suitable location.
Love that spider. The fact that it showed up means it's leaving.
You're ok. In fact - you're better off than you thought you were. You are now spider free. That's progress. (And the spider is listening to the sweet music of the garden.)
The word 'cess' is sometimes used in front of the word 'pit' to describe a shit hole. A process can literally feel like this for a moment now and then. You don't want to stay in it though, so someone has to stop the screaming and STEP through it. There is a door, and GRESS means to step.
The spider is the proCESS.
Evacuate the spider.
Appreciate the proGRESS.
Have a grape.
Most importantly, forgive yourself for not knowing the spider was there. Who are you, David Attenborough? No? Right, so be kind. Sit still and say a silent (or a rowdy) thanks for the progress you have made so far.
And next time a spider comes up, rinse and repeat, thank the spider, love yourself, see the progress, have a grape.
ps. Need help with the process? That's my department.
pps. Dear David Attenborough, if you are reading this, thank you for being a living demonstration of love in action, you amazing human.
ppps. No spiders were harmed in the writing of this post. One showed up physically, was relocated and then used allegorically, I haven't yet had a chat with his/her agent about fees. (I'm not certain we speak the same language either.)