Years of conditioning can shut us down to who we are. And sometimes we don't realise it has happened.
"Shut up." "You're only a child, what do you know anyway?" "We are listening to important people, be quiet." "Shhh, I'm on the phone." "I'm the man of the house and what I say goes." "Do this, do that (nag, nag nag)." "You don't know what you're talking about."
"He's an idiot, he doesn't know what he's talking about."
"She always rabbits on about crap."
There are a multitude of ways we are told that what we say does not matter. Our voices have traditionally been shut down by a society that always fed 'children should be seen and not heard' a very hearty meal.
These days we are starting to watch the ideas of children with wonderment. Thank God for technology. A 15 year old has invented a test for pancreatic cancer that cost just cents to make and takes moments to do. Jack Andraka's invention is here.
A girl has invented a way to make plastics out of banana peel - Elif Bilgin was awarded $50,000 for the ongoing development of her invention.
I'm so thrilled to be able to see these amazing inventions via the web. However, what I see most often are people (in my day job), who are unexpressed and just needing a wee bit of self validation in order to come fully into themselves.
As we come through childhood and into teens, we are forming the way we stand on the planet, and that 'children should be seen and not heard' conditioning, can really stick. We must perform 'the right way' for people to approve of us, and while that's ok for many people, some gentler souls are really knocked off their perches by it.
Sometimes as a result of this, people don't know who they are because they have been pressured to be someone that fits a 'suitable' or perhaps even 'correct' mould. And this can put us into a space of overwhelm that we don't necessarily come back out of. But there IS a way out.
You know I am speaking from my own experience here. It took me a very long time to find my voice. And starting a blog was a major step towards it. I write this post for you with the conviction that some of you will read it and think "AHA! that's why I find it so hard to say how I feel!" and I only have that conviction because I started to share my opinions.
I initially thought it was stupid, but I had to practise writing somewhere, I felt dumb doing it, I thought that my writing would be read by nobody - and people started reading it. Actually thousands have.
If I didn't start, so many people who needed help would still be walking around feeling sore and foggy. And many of them would still be heart broken, or insomniacs.
I've learned a few thing, and one is, if I quote other people too often, I am giving my voice/opinion away. So I seldom quote other people, it can be a fall back approach to saying 'what is inside me can stay there'. When you are busy with what everyone else says, maybe you lose what you say, modify or even shut down what you think or feel. Experts, might become experts by studying other experts, but someone had to have original thought somewhere in order to even start heading toward expert status. A pioneer/expert is the person with the balls who said 'I think this.' And then went ahead, validated and built on it. If that expert doesn't ever give life to that original thought - the planet misses out.
Sometimes OUR original thought goes unheard in our rush to conform and listen to the opinions of others. Don't think you've got one? Like I said, neither did I. Sometimes we bottle it, and that's not healthy for us - we are channels, meant to enjoy things that pass through, not hold them stuffed down and stifled. When we always lean outward to learn from others, or wish we had what they had, as a result of being conditioned that our opinion or voice doesn't matter, we miss our greatest teacher of all - our own spirit.
Each of us does have really amazing gifts. And right now, if you are saying "not me" THIS is exactly why I am writing this post.
In order to listen to our own spirit, all we have to do is trust, arrive/be present and say yes. We may feel there are layers of sh*t built up over the amazingness locked within us. Perhaps it seems thick, but it's not and you have a big old kick ass spiritual digger if you need one, to pull those layers off. There is a spiritual quote somewhere which goes 'in order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself'.
And it's often true - sometimes we have to get to a point where we have been pushed just enough to YELL out and say I AM WORTH IT!!!
Because until we get to that place, we are not ready to swap the ordinary for something extraordinary. That comfort zone can be a 'good enough' trap sometimes.
You can uncover your voice by yourself. You are already here, and you have everything you need. The thing is - sometimes you don't believe that. You just might need to say 'no' sometimes when you are saying 'yes' to please a crowd or someone else. You can express your opinion and when others disagree or over run it - you can repeat yourself, or tell yourself it's ok to be different. You can sit still for a moment, instead of reaching out for connection with others, say 'where am I?' and connect with yourself. Locate yourself, rest, place your hands on your heart and send yourself love.
You're worth it.
If my post is resonating with you and you feel like you would like to release some past hurts in order to help the process to uncover (and trust) your voice, I have private sessions to help release the 'compression/repression/suppression' that has been placed upon (or absorbed by) you/it.
AND obviously, because you've seen the picture at the top of this post, I have a workshop coming up - it's a Sacred Circle time for sharing, releasing and coming to a place of peace. If you've been to a circle before and been a bit scared off - this one doesn't involve screaming, ranting, ripping your guts out and bleeding all over the floor. There are no points for sobbing the loudest. If you cry, you cry, (quietly or loudly) and that's ok. Sometimes I do in circle (often actually).
This is a gentle release space and connection with Your Divine Spark - you connect - you can always connect any time you want to this energy, it's yours - restorative beautiful soul energy. Everyone has time to speak uninterrupted and everyone keeps any sharing that has taken place, private to the group. There are specific circle parameters to ensure you are safely supported to come to a place of peace and balance.
To find out more and to secure your spot, please text me on 021 726 276 and I will call you back.
Join my email news to hear more about it here.
Argh!! 'spiritual' people. Yet again there is another one chucking horrible stuff out.
I just removed a boa constrictor from a lady who really could have done without it. It was squeezing her enough for her whole body to be sore and for her breathing to be affected. She's been 'sick' for days and just realised she needed help.
After removing the snake that was squeezing her (which fitted all her issues to a T), minutes later she felt like herself again. Not nice for anyone, but especially not nice when you're pregnant and the mother of young children.
I sincerely hope the lady responsible drops the desperation energy and stops being a taker.
Why oh why do people think it's ok to wish someone UNwell?
EVERYTHING IS ENERGY.
If you're in a bad mood with someone and you work with energy, confront it, own it, release it, go jump in the sea and have a scrub, ground yourself, let it go, send your bullshit on for healing, take no for an answer when it's given to you, learn to celebrate the good fortune of others, and for Gods sake as well as your own - just don't fling it where it doesn't need to go.
In case you didn't get it the first time... EVERYTHING IS ENERGY.
If you want prosperity, don't complain about lack or be a taker - prosper others.
If you want kindness, don't complain about lack of kindness - be kind to others.
If you want more peace in your life - BE IT.
If you want more love to go around - BE IT.
I'm thinking it's simple, but maybe it's not.
Bless, bless, bless, bless, bless.
End of rant.
The Pencil Prophets have popped into my art studio to give ideas, a little wisdom and add inspiration to your day.
I now create and sell artwork - paintings and drawings in mixed media (pencil, watercolour and acrylic) and I am taking commissions.
Original pencil drawings and blessing orbs are $65 and are available through my store page here.
Paintings range in price from $150.
Please email me here if you would like to know more.
There are times when we talk 'about' people.
When we are seeking to understand them, when we are supporting them, when we are inspired by them and also when we want to rip them down because we are triggered by them.
We are responsible for all these times.
All these times are an investment of energy. There are wise investments and investments that say a lot about where we are at.
What people do, say, wear, and choose to do are all individual things. In no way can we choose for another. We are not made of their chemical, energetic or personal composition and to judge them in any way is an indicator that we have a problem with their freedom.
Don't lock yourself up by holding negative thoughts about anyone. The more you celebrate their worth and wellness, the more you are free to celebrate your own.
One moment spent thinking unkindly is a moment investing in an untruth.
The truth is, we all are amazing. And thank goodness, we all are amazing in different ways, so together we can create a wonderful balance.
Life can be a tightrope, or we can swing gently in the breeze.
Let go. Be free. And just love the wrinkles.
Love IS Easy.
FREE HUGS IN AUCKLAND & SOME TIPS:
Yesterday Nicole and I went for a bit of a ramble in Auckland.
We hugged hundreds of people outside Britomart and around the lower Queen St area, and I just wanted to share with you a story (or two) from the morning...
One man who did not speak English walked up to me and gestured that he wanted to know what we were doing. I demonstrated from my heart to his and a sign of peace. His eyes went wide and he stepped into my hug and remained there for a few moments. We hug with our hearts, real and strong. No patting on the back, no rigidity, a big beautiful hug. He drew back from me with big tears in his eyes and then overcome, he hugged me again. He bowed as he left.
I had to take a few moments to process the tears. Bless him, if he was the only person I hugged all day it would have been so worth it.
One guy was on the way to his first day of his new job.
Monday morning hugs are non toxic, alcohol free, no calorie, uplifting, heartwarming and I am quite sure they go a long way toward curing Mondayitis.
I recommend you find a friend you trust and who gives GOOD hugs and take him or her along for a couple of hours.
People will ask you why you are doing it. If it helps - this is what I say - I tell them that it's because we need touch and connection now more than ever in our world and because people are AWESOME.
Nicole and I also met some hilarious Hug Avoiders. I will save that story for another day.
There are a few things that are useful to know when doing Hugs in your community.
1. NEVER hug a child that is pushed towards you. Children's boundaries are SO important and we always honour them. Parents who are a little nervous sometimes push their kids forward. It's important not to curb their natural instinct to keep themselves safe. If it feels right, give them a high five instead. Now and then, a child will openly come and say "Yes I would like a hug." Those ones are just fine.
2. Banter is good - gentle, non invasive, lightheartedness. No bullying anyone into a hug, personal zones MUST be respected.
(3. This should be fairly obvious, but I've seen otherwise, so no touching below the waist.)
4. If you can hug in the open air with plenty of space around you and enough time for people to deal with their risk or resistance - the 'shall I or shan't I?' you are more likely to get a yes. Include everyone in your offering.
5. You'll get loads of No's. Deal with it gracefully and instantly. (If this is a problem go straight home. The streets are ok without you.) The No's are not about you. At no time make fun of anyone - this should also be obvious - but you are being a role model for people around you. Some people you are sure will decline you, will surprise you and say yes.
6. Some people will think you are nuts. You are. It's great.
7. Some people haven't been hugged for years. Once someone told me she had not been hugged for 10 years. That's why we need touch. Of course I hugged her twice.
8. Some of the people you will hug have been hanging by a thread. Your hug is their lifeline. Don't underestimate it. Love each person you hug, big golden, sunshiny love is good for all of us.
9. Hugging is not a business opportunity. Over time I've hugged thousands of people and have given out very few cards. Sometimes I take them with me if people want to friend me on Facebook or get more hug pictures. If you are really hugging - you are holding a moment of time, not having a conversation. It's not networking - it's HEARTWORKING.
10. Too many people giving out hugs can be quite scary - three is plenty - so split up or spread out.
11. Keep your arms out wide and SMILE. Pack away all handbags and extras so you are totally able to be present and play!!
12. Be prepared to have your heart melted.
International Peace Day is on September the 21st. Want to make the world a better place?
Grab a friend or get a group together and go DO HUGS FOR PEACE.
Past hugging days: There are more tips and a couple more stories here: http://www.debx.co.nz/blog/10-top-tips-for-free-huggers
Be the change you wish to see.
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Energy expert, Deb is also a spiritual teacher, healer, writer and artist.