Years of conditioning can shut us down to who we are. And sometimes we don't realise it has happened.
"Shut up." "You're only a child, what do you know anyway?" "We are listening to important people, be quiet." "Shhh, I'm on the phone." "I'm the man of the house and what I say goes." "Do this, do that (nag, nag nag)." "You don't know what you're talking about."
"He's an idiot, he doesn't know what he's talking about."
"She always rabbits on about crap."
There are a multitude of ways we are told that what we say does not matter. Our voices have traditionally been shut down by a society that always fed 'children should be seen and not heard' a very hearty meal.
These days we are starting to watch the ideas of children with wonderment. Thank God for technology. A 15 year old has invented a test for pancreatic cancer that cost just cents to make and takes moments to do. Jack Andraka's invention is here.
A girl has invented a way to make plastics out of banana peel - Elif Bilgin was awarded $50,000 for the ongoing development of her invention.
I'm so thrilled to be able to see these amazing inventions via the web. However, what I see most often are people (in my day job), who are unexpressed and just needing a wee bit of self validation in order to come fully into themselves.
As we come through childhood and into teens, we are forming the way we stand on the planet, and that 'children should be seen and not heard' conditioning, can really stick. We must perform 'the right way' for people to approve of us, and while that's ok for many people, some gentler souls are really knocked off their perches by it.
Sometimes as a result of this, people don't know who they are because they have been pressured to be someone that fits a 'suitable' or perhaps even 'correct' mould. And this can put us into a space of overwhelm that we don't necessarily come back out of. But there IS a way out.
You know I am speaking from my own experience here. It took me a very long time to find my voice. And starting a blog was a major step towards it. I write this post for you with the conviction that some of you will read it and think "AHA! that's why I find it so hard to say how I feel!" and I only have that conviction because I started to share my opinions.
I initially thought it was stupid, but I had to practise writing somewhere, I felt dumb doing it, I thought that my writing would be read by nobody - and people started reading it. Actually thousands have.
If I didn't start, so many people who needed help would still be walking around feeling sore and foggy. And many of them would still be heart broken, or insomniacs.
I've learned a few thing, and one is, if I quote other people too often, I am giving my voice/opinion away. So I seldom quote other people, it can be a fall back approach to saying 'what is inside me can stay there'. When you are busy with what everyone else says, maybe you lose what you say, modify or even shut down what you think or feel. Experts, might become experts by studying other experts, but someone had to have original thought somewhere in order to even start heading toward expert status. A pioneer/expert is the person with the balls who said 'I think this.' And then went ahead, validated and built on it. If that expert doesn't ever give life to that original thought - the planet misses out.
Sometimes OUR original thought goes unheard in our rush to conform and listen to the opinions of others. Don't think you've got one? Like I said, neither did I. Sometimes we bottle it, and that's not healthy for us - we are channels, meant to enjoy things that pass through, not hold them stuffed down and stifled. When we always lean outward to learn from others, or wish we had what they had, as a result of being conditioned that our opinion or voice doesn't matter, we miss our greatest teacher of all - our own spirit.
Each of us does have really amazing gifts. And right now, if you are saying "not me" THIS is exactly why I am writing this post.
In order to listen to our own spirit, all we have to do is trust, arrive/be present and say yes. We may feel there are layers of sh*t built up over the amazingness locked within us. Perhaps it seems thick, but it's not and you have a big old kick ass spiritual digger if you need one, to pull those layers off. There is a spiritual quote somewhere which goes 'in order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself'.
And it's often true - sometimes we have to get to a point where we have been pushed just enough to YELL out and say I AM WORTH IT!!!
Because until we get to that place, we are not ready to swap the ordinary for something extraordinary. That comfort zone can be a 'good enough' trap sometimes.
You can uncover your voice by yourself. You are already here, and you have everything you need. The thing is - sometimes you don't believe that. You just might need to say 'no' sometimes when you are saying 'yes' to please a crowd or someone else. You can express your opinion and when others disagree or over run it - you can repeat yourself, or tell yourself it's ok to be different. You can sit still for a moment, instead of reaching out for connection with others, say 'where am I?' and connect with yourself. Locate yourself, rest, place your hands on your heart and send yourself love.
You're worth it.
If my post is resonating with you and you feel like you would like to release some past hurts in order to help the process to uncover (and trust) your voice, I have private sessions to help release the 'compression/repression/suppression' that has been placed upon (or absorbed by) you/it.
AND obviously, because you've seen the picture at the top of this post, I have a workshop coming up - it's a Sacred Circle time for sharing, releasing and coming to a place of peace. If you've been to a circle before and been a bit scared off - this one doesn't involve screaming, ranting, ripping your guts out and bleeding all over the floor. There are no points for sobbing the loudest. If you cry, you cry, (quietly or loudly) and that's ok. Sometimes I do in circle (often actually).
This is a gentle release space and connection with Your Divine Spark - you connect - you can always connect any time you want to this energy, it's yours - restorative beautiful soul energy. Everyone has time to speak uninterrupted and everyone keeps any sharing that has taken place, private to the group. There are specific circle parameters to ensure you are safely supported to come to a place of peace and balance.
To find out more and to secure your spot, please text me on 021 726 276 and I will call you back.
Join my email news to hear more about it here.
FREE HUGS IN AUCKLAND & SOME TIPS:
Yesterday Nicole and I went for a bit of a ramble in Auckland.
We hugged hundreds of people outside Britomart and around the lower Queen St area, and I just wanted to share with you a story (or two) from the morning...
One man who did not speak English walked up to me and gestured that he wanted to know what we were doing. I demonstrated from my heart to his and a sign of peace. His eyes went wide and he stepped into my hug and remained there for a few moments. We hug with our hearts, real and strong. No patting on the back, no rigidity, a big beautiful hug. He drew back from me with big tears in his eyes and then overcome, he hugged me again. He bowed as he left.
I had to take a few moments to process the tears. Bless him, if he was the only person I hugged all day it would have been so worth it.
One guy was on the way to his first day of his new job.
Monday morning hugs are non toxic, alcohol free, no calorie, uplifting, heartwarming and I am quite sure they go a long way toward curing Mondayitis.
I recommend you find a friend you trust and who gives GOOD hugs and take him or her along for a couple of hours.
People will ask you why you are doing it. If it helps - this is what I say - I tell them that it's because we need touch and connection now more than ever in our world and because people are AWESOME.
Nicole and I also met some hilarious Hug Avoiders. I will save that story for another day.
There are a few things that are useful to know when doing Hugs in your community.
1. NEVER hug a child that is pushed towards you. Children's boundaries are SO important and we always honour them. Parents who are a little nervous sometimes push their kids forward. It's important not to curb their natural instinct to keep themselves safe. If it feels right, give them a high five instead. Now and then, a child will openly come and say "Yes I would like a hug." Those ones are just fine.
2. Banter is good - gentle, non invasive, lightheartedness. No bullying anyone into a hug, personal zones MUST be respected.
(3. This should be fairly obvious, but I've seen otherwise, so no touching below the waist.)
4. If you can hug in the open air with plenty of space around you and enough time for people to deal with their risk or resistance - the 'shall I or shan't I?' you are more likely to get a yes. Include everyone in your offering.
5. You'll get loads of No's. Deal with it gracefully and instantly. (If this is a problem go straight home. The streets are ok without you.) The No's are not about you. At no time make fun of anyone - this should also be obvious - but you are being a role model for people around you. Some people you are sure will decline you, will surprise you and say yes.
6. Some people will think you are nuts. You are. It's great.
7. Some people haven't been hugged for years. Once someone told me she had not been hugged for 10 years. That's why we need touch. Of course I hugged her twice.
8. Some of the people you will hug have been hanging by a thread. Your hug is their lifeline. Don't underestimate it. Love each person you hug, big golden, sunshiny love is good for all of us.
9. Hugging is not a business opportunity. Over time I've hugged thousands of people and have given out very few cards. Sometimes I take them with me if people want to friend me on Facebook or get more hug pictures. If you are really hugging - you are holding a moment of time, not having a conversation. It's not networking - it's HEARTWORKING.
10. Too many people giving out hugs can be quite scary - three is plenty - so split up or spread out.
11. Keep your arms out wide and SMILE. Pack away all handbags and extras so you are totally able to be present and play!!
12. Be prepared to have your heart melted.
International Peace Day is on September the 21st. Want to make the world a better place?
Grab a friend or get a group together and go DO HUGS FOR PEACE.
Past hugging days: There are more tips and a couple more stories here: http://www.debx.co.nz/blog/10-top-tips-for-free-huggers
Be the change you wish to see.
You can follow me (or friend me) on Facebook here
Brenda was referred to me by a friend in England for healing, and during the course of her session I saw that she was 'wearing concrete boots'.
'It felt like my feet would cramp or go into a spasm. I could feel the toes curling under too and the arch of my foot would contract. It was horrible and would come so suddenly, last I can't really say as it seemed it was not always the same. There was pain on the top of my foot too, so much so that I could not cross my feet as it was unbearable.'
I removed Brenda's 'boots' and her pain disappeared. I got the distinct impression an unhappy Mafia hit man was responsible. She was utterly gobsmacked and when she stopped laughing, she told me that she was so obsessed with Mafia movies, her husband had once asked her if they could 'watch something else.'
This arrived from her yesterday...
'Deb, new update...I have not had anywhere close to the pain in my feet since we had our time together. Once in a while I get a quick cramp but it is gone almost a quickly as it came. I have NEVER not been able to walk like before. Thank you so much for you help. You have not seen the last of me yet!
I will be forever grateful that Maggy gave me your name.'
Lotsa love…Brenda Poulsen,
Denmark (Skype Healing)
Other past life healing stories are here. I've helped people with flying phobias, people who were water phobic, people who could not eat certain foods, insomniacs, people who were in lots of unexplained pain, to release their fears and pain and achieve great things. The release of fears and pain affect the quality of life, not only of the client, but also contributes to a greater level of enjoyment of their friends and families too.
Any questions? Please email me, Past Life healing is an absolute pleasure.
It's an amazing thing, but colour can travel through space to heal others too. The energy and frequency of colour travels across the internet to heal my clients in other countries and other parts of the country via Skype.
Colours help in relationship hearings, in family healing, with house healing and blessings, and so much more.
I'm fairly sure I'm having a love affair with my colour pencils, and my pencil sharpener, I use them in almost every healing session and there are certain colours I use more than others, some I've used down to tiny stubs. I've decided to collect them and save them in a jar, as they represent a huge amount of healing that has gone out to people over the last few months. I've been writing down sessions for quite some time, but during a session with a friend months ago - the coloured pencils were literally yelling out from the cupboard. I had no idea what I was going to draw - but I did what I was told.
The session drawings go home with the clients and so the vibration of ongoing healing is accessible to them through each drawing. Some of my clients hold onto them when they have trouble sleeping, and the clearing energy helps them nod off.
The more colour you fill your life with - the more vibrant your life becomes.
I love working on sceptics. Healthy Sceptics who need a hand with wellness are the most AWESOME clients ever.
Shane came to me with pain in both his wrists after Carpal Tunnel operations.
He said afterwards, that his pain had been at a constant 6 out of 10, and he could kind of put up with it, BUT the reason that really propelled him along, was that his hands were closing up when he was resting. The Doctors told him 'that sometimes happens'.
His friend told him to come see me. Shane was about the most sceptic guy I knew.
He left with a 0 - thats zero pain, saying he didn't believe in it, but it worked. I didn't need him to believe in it - it was enough that he came along. I was pleased I helped him, but HUGELY dismayed thinking about all the people in the world who suffer needlessly because they don't know this healing could help them.
Healthy sceptics want to know something is going to work for them. (So do most people, right?)
Healthy sceptics are willing to try something, even though they are not sure exactly what it is - if it proves to be good for them, they are ok embracing it.
Most sceptics are in one of two boats:
1. They have not had an experience with healing, or do not know of it, or understand it.
2. They have not had an experience that was effective. Perhaps because they needed more than one treatment or did not trust the person they were working with.
The Other Sceptics: Some sceptics have a cognitive dissonance around healing. A fancy term for just not accepting something, because it would cause their whole belief system to register stress. Because we rely a lot on our world view - if we are a person who is cemented in a belief, when someone presents us with something that doesn't support our belief, we can be scared/triggered or even angry. And that's perfectly ok. This person is unlikely to present themselves for healing in the first place. Fine by me, and I mean that in a kind way - not a stick that in your pipe and smoke it way. I am here to a. bring you less stress and b. work for your money.
I'm not here to waste my time or your money talking to you if you won't/can't hear me.
That's really important.
So - first off - and I know this isn't really first because here I am down the page a way, but still - there is something to get straight here. I am, most definitely, a former sceptic. Why? I 'saw' things when I was small. BUT I was told they weren't real by other people that couldn't see them. They were wrong, and those things were real. My vision just worked slightly outside the boundaries of the 'accepted' human visionary field.
Secondly - I am a meccano, lego, engineering minded kind of fixit girl. I own more tools than many people, I can back a trailer better than many men - I like to know how things go together, and how they come apart - not necessarily in that order. I LOVE results.
So if something doesn't WORK, I am not interested - but if it works - I REALLY WANT TO KNOW.
So two things are amazing to me. One - we are all surrounded by energy that can be harnessed, we just don't tend to know how to do that for our best benefit. And Two - I can harness it - or at least direct it, and I am SO lucky because my clients give me amazing testimonies to their results - like the one below.
(And may I just say - the gentleman that gave me the testimonial below, actually cancelled TWICE before he came. He really was iffy about coming along.) He is also private about his work and personal life, but is willing to speak directly to people about the healing, if they genuinely are interested in having some.
So here is this testimonial - and I'm truly grateful for it.
Personal testimonial for Deb:
'I was extremely sceptical and cynical of anything of this nature. To me, if it couldn’t be identified, isolated, tested and re-tested using the scientific method – then it didn’t exist. My close, trusted (and similarly sceptical) friend had seen Deb and was floored by her abilities, still unconvinced – I sent my partner along and she was likewise astounded. Both of them were deeply affected by their session with Deb. Begrudgingly I made a booking and went to see what all the fuss was about. The best way I can describe my experience is: profound. Before I walked in I felt “heavy”, not a physical heaviness but a sense that I was wading through water all the time and had a great weight on my shoulders. When I left Deb after 90 minutes (was meant to be an hour but I made her keep going with the session!), I felt completely different. Lighter, somehow ‘free’ and indelibly changed in ways I’m still trying to come to terms with. I can’t begin to understand how Deb did what she did but I can attest to the fact that she can do things that defy explanation.
She knew things she shouldn’t possibly know and revealed things to me that were confronting and challenging but also uplifting, inspiring and incredibly emotional. She somehow elicits a tangible, physical change in your body without touching you? This, I cannot explain.
My experience with Deb has left me reeling and there is no doubt in my mind that I have been changed forever. I have purposely avoided emotive words like ‘miraculous’, ‘spiritual’ or ‘angelic’ but they are entirely apt ways to describe who Deb is and what she does.
Open your mind or keep it closed, it really doesn’t matter – but if you want a legitimately ‘life altering’ experience then go and see Deb.
You will leave a different person.'
This is why I love the work, and also why it's important for healers and light workers to keep sharing the possibilities with people who have never had the experiences, even though it's sometimes considered scary. Those people we work on, who are profoundly affected, share their stories bit by bit with people who trust them, and in that way, they share possibility, open eyes, ears, hearts and doors to a world of wellness that otherwise escapes people.
It's so, so important to share.
If this article helps you I'd love to know. I work all over the world, and all over the country, but there are many people in your area that also offer healing. If you are not inspired to come to me, at least keep questioning, and learning about the possibilities of healing, seek out friends who have had great local experiences and, if you need to draw the courage from them, do it, and go along to see a healer. Maybe I can even recommend one in your area.
Energy healing changes lives every day. There are more than 4 million Reiki Level One healers in the world. That's just one form of healing in a vast sea of available modalities.
What on earth would they all be doing it for if it wasn't real?
All this reaching for happiness stuff sometimes stretches your nerves out all twangy and makes your fingernails a bit thin and crumbly.
Do it if you wish, some days, and on others - try instead sitting with what you have and making the best of it.
That worked for hundreds of years before the self help movement showed up.
The songs says 'some days are diamonds, some days are gold, sometimes the hard times, won't leave us alone.' And it can seem like that. But sure enough things shift. They shift a hell of a lot faster if you recognise that life has it's ups and downs. It's your choice to have a healthy attitude about the ups and downs, but happy most of the time comes with acceptance that you can't control everything, and a big, deep breath in, and a big whoosh deep breath out.
You don't 'have' to be happy.
Just be. Hang out with life instead. Take the pressure off.
You are who you are and the day - it just is what it is. Every single day has seasoning - a bit of happy, a bit of this, a bit of that. Life is like the spice drawer.
Happy can show up again when you've given yourself a big old break from the grind. Reaching for happy can be hard work.
Bugger off and do something nice instead. Get out of your head. Happy isn't there.
the little things that make your heart sing, are really important, go with what feels good to your gut, listen to great music and spend time with the trees, grass and sky.
Rose Quartz is gentle and beneficial for adults and children. A beautiful healer and comfort stone, promoting relaxation and all kinds of wellness, it's also said to be beneficial for people with Parkinsons and Alzheimers.
Its colour can range from almost white to a deep rose pink, it may fade if left in the sun. It symbolises, love, peace, comfort and relaxation and is often sourced from Brazil.
I have some rose quartz here for sale; and a circle of rose quartz and other love healing stones you can stand in to experience a full body buzz of rose quartz healing.
You may also choose to have a crystal healing with the love stones to bring wellness or assist with transitioning through grief.
I was introduced to Naam Yoga in 2012 by a lovely lady named Nilamani.
It was a total mind shift from my ideas of Yoga, and was introduced to me gently - I resonated with it really well because it was all about breath, movement, and the power of ancient words.
My greatest fears were laid to rest: I did not look like an idiot, I was not required to sling my legs around my ears, elegantly or otherwise, I did not fart in front of a whole class of people (I DID say greatest fears!) and to be honest, it was integrated so simply and gently, that I felt like I was just doing a modified form of laying around - relaxing. BRILLIANT as far as I was concerned. Easy Peasy. But because we were simultaneously moving, working with the breath and chanting at the same time, we somehow, subtly, achieved a great deal in a simple session.
I felt amazing. Introducing the sun, and light in, and riding on the energy of beautiful music, I felt cleansed, cleared, whole, released, energised.
On November 25th 2012, Dr Michael Joseph Levry, Founder of Naam, led a historical event - a Naam Yoga Super Class gathering in Mexico. He had a record breaking result - a crowd of 15,000 people, all joining together to spread light and peace throughout the world. Thousands more joined via the internet.
Perhaps they succeeded in a way that they hadn't expected.
The following day, in one of the world's most violent cities, no violent crime was reported. It was the first time in living memory that such a situation existed.
That day was described across the world as 'New York's Most Beautiful Day. '
THIS, is the previous day in Mexico...
Why am I writing about it now?
Actually, I wrote about it then, but I have been prompted now, to share once again - with you.
Over the last couple of months I have met several people who could do with a little bit of 'me' time in a beautiful energy. So this, my darlings, is for you. Take the time. It's gentle, I promise.
Loving, nurturing guides will only take you as far as you need to go, and Naam is a wonderful self healing, and world healing tool.
There is no way that New York's violence free day happened by accident. We have the power to change the world we live in. We have the power to be that change 'we wish to see.'
If this story moves you or intrigues you - find out more, and please share this to inspire others.
Naam Yoga is here in Hakanoa St, Grey Lynn - Auckland City - Contact Nilamani 021 594 159
and on Auckland's North Shore - Contact Julia - 021 023 69824.
Naam Yoga Aotearoa New Zealand is on facebook, click the link here
This week renewed communication lines are open and an issue that has been sitting out in left field comes in for your perusal. The opportunity for signing the issue off arises and you find yourself with completion.
Celebration is in the air by Friday.
On the weekend, time seems to stretch out as the completion energy carries through.
You cross things off your to-do list and are pleased to find things flowing - and you are inspired to achieve more.
Thank goodness, because it may have felt a little like you were pushing through jelly or quicksand over the last few weeks.
Stand in a clear spot, and imagine or visualise you are surrounded by, and x-rayed by, gold light.
Say to yourself - either silently or out loud "all my needs are met, now and always in Perfect Grace."
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth - and when you are ready, step out of your circle into your new, clear space.
The light streams in on the floor, dancing dust motes tinkling in its gaze. Twirling and swirling in the glorious silence.
There is nothing. Or is there?
Paying attention brings the gulls in first. Off in the distance, exultant cries tell tales of low tides and rich pickings. The cicadas follow, their sibilant hum setting a clear frequency to cut and release, cut and release - they are dislodging the last of summer. Stridently sending it on its way, a few more long days of sunshine and then it will be gone.
The temperature has dropped. Last night was all about being covered. The cooler air today seems to aid thought processes.
The clock ticks, the fridge whirrs. And now there are school children on break time. A truck rumbling by and a few cars to help with the life hum. Further out, construction clangs, diggers and drop saws intrude.
The breeze just murmurs.
After last nights crazy wind, violently whipping the curtains and howling round the house - this is peace.
Take a moment to tune to all the sounds in your space, hear them, picture them, then retreat back out and let them go. Listen to the silence of your body.
All these external things have only the importance I attach to them.
Breathe and allow the stillness to centre you.
Energy expert, Deb is also a spiritual teacher, healer, writer and artist.