There are times when we talk 'about' people.
When we are seeking to understand them, when we are supporting them, when we are inspired by them and also when we want to rip them down because we are triggered by them.
We are responsible for all these times.
All these times are an investment of energy. There are wise investments and investments that say a lot about where we are at.
What people do, say, wear, and choose to do are all individual things. In no way can we choose for another. We are not made of their chemical, energetic or personal composition and to judge them in any way is an indicator that we have a problem with their freedom.
Don't lock yourself up by holding negative thoughts about anyone. The more you celebrate their worth and wellness, the more you are free to celebrate your own.
One moment spent thinking unkindly is a moment investing in an untruth.
The truth is, we all are amazing. And thank goodness, we all are amazing in different ways, so together we can create a wonderful balance.
Life can be a tightrope, or we can swing gently in the breeze.
Let go. Be free. And just love the wrinkles.
Love IS Easy.
A word from the wise…
'Always listen to yourself. It's better to be wrong than simply follow convention.
If you are wrong, no matter, you will have learned something and you will grow stronger. If you are right, you will have taken another step toward a more fulfilling life. '
- Bryce Courtenay 1933 - 2012
You are treasure. I've told you before and sometimes you've soaked it up and said "Yes!" Other times, you've given me that look. The one that says "No way, I'm broken, I'm not that thing you think you see, I am believing that I am nothing much at all." But nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are days when we are resistant, but we have to check ourselves sometimes, and remember that resistance blocks us. In all directions. Flow is really important and we can't flow that well if we have dammed up our stream with rocks.
You're perfect as you are, it just takes a moment sometimes for us to realise this and embrace it, and when life feels tough - now and then, a little nudge is all we need to come back online.
Bryce Courtenay is probably writing away somewhere in the stars. I like to think he is helping me.
I've certainly learned from him and when I read this beautiful piece of writing (below), I think we share similarities of vision. He, more than any other writer, opened my eyes to african stars, to the power of one, to hopes, dreams and far away places.
When I see his books, I scoop them up. At a school fair I discovered 'A Recipe for Dreaming' and it was a dollar. I felt blessed, inherited a bookmark and a little note that said 'whether you are near or far, I have roads inside me, that take me to where you are.' I wonder who left it there. It's a heartwarming extra gift.It's a curious thing, reading another persons secondhand book. I wonder where it's been, who has soaked it's wisdom up, who has been entertained. Did it mean to them, what it means to me?
Bryce writes 'The combination of learning to dream and getting into the habit of asking yourself questions is, I believe, the beginning of a way to live a happy and original life.'
This is accurate for me. I spent years running from myself and only recently realised how to stop and ask myself what was right for me, how I felt and what I was here for. Too often the treadmill captures us.
I thought I would share this little passage from the book with you because it has inspired me so.
'You were not born empty.
God formed you with perfect feet and hands and a heart that beats non-stop, sometimes for a hundred years. He made you complete.
Why then, do you assume He made you empty?
He didn't, of course. You inherited a thousand generations of wisdom, skill, poetry, song, all the sunrises and sunsets of knowledge past. You are the sum of all the people who went before you.
You are a refinery of intellectual wealth.
The full flood of antecedent wisdom is piped and stored within you - how to climb the highest mountain, slay the biggest monster, how to survive fear and how to summon your own courage and take pride in your wonderful intelligence.
Inside you are more possibilities than you could possibly use up in one lifetime.
If you can dream it - you can do it, because the instinctive knowledge of how to succeed is already programmed within you waiting to be turned on. Waiting to flow like a river as you come on stream.'
I love it, don't you?
Bryce has been a big part of my dreaming. Perhaps he can inspire you too.
Threads of Life
She sinks inside herself. Discouraged and lost in regret and self recrimination. And finds she is not alone.
"Have you come for the dance?" he asks.
"What dance?" she replies, "I don't understand. I don't know who you are. I can't see a dance, all I can see is black and dark, I've stuffed things up and been stupid, and people have done bad things to me and to each other. Terrible things happen. Life is tough."
"Ah", he says. "Those people are teaching each other and you too. Teaching about love and pain, about how you can all make better choices, they are teaching how to think on your feet, how to have faith, how being saved at the last minute is a very real thing that happens, and about how you can cause great harm to yourself if you don't speak up. There are no mistakes, you are just learning."
She catches her breath. He has her attention, after all, she has nothing else to do.
"It is a dance because each person is crucial to complete a cycle. Each one is a link in an infinite chain reaction, weaving their way in and out, like a pattern in a fabric, and in that way they are dancers.
The man that gives way for the rushing woman, is in the right place at the right time to save someone's life. The woman who gives a gift to the elderly neighbour, thwarts an opportunistic thief, who sees a kindness in action, and is inspired to change his mind."
He goes inside himself for a moment and reflects, finding the words.
"Sometimes tragedy opens the door for great kindness and a sense of stronger community. Even though It can be difficult, it's important in these times to remain open to good.
These people who create wonderful things for each other, are all picking up their threads of life. The Threads of Life are very, very important. They are the same ones that provide people with nourishment from their spirits.
When the threads are scattered, knotted or broken, life cannot flow as easily. This is what closure does, sometimes it causes people to wander and stretch their threads very thinly, but they can always be called back, unless it's their time to pass from this world. In cases of death, the thread is snapped completely, as the body is not needed any longer."
She absorbs, and seeing how this opening and closing has worked in her life, she nods for him to continue.
"The threads roll over and under each other, as the people go about their business. In this way, a blanket is woven by humanity for humanity. Faith is shared, created, restored. Possibility is birthed.
Connection between people is the music for the dance, making unconditional relationships and extending kindnesses - this creates harmonious, beautiful music and makes the blanket soft. There are enough weavers now, and many more arriving daily to make this blanket enveloping, inviting and nurturing.
Some call themselves Lightworkers, but really it is all kinds of people doing and sharing good. Story tellers, artists, carers, gardeners, builders, mothers, fathers and poets. They sprinkle the blanket with the warmth of heart and courage, the magic of moonlight, starlight, the lilt and uplift of sunshine and daisies. And with the most important thing - the promise of a new dawn."
He pauses to see if she is still with him, and sees that her minds eye is filled with images, carried on a blissful journey of creating, imagining and remembering, a vivid landscape of love and caring.
A softness has returned to her.
Her vibration is rising as he speaks.
"Theirs is a sacred task, for they are removing the compression that has been laid down upon humanity.
Wouldn't you agree that sharing love and wisdom has always been the greatest grace available to mankind?"
She nods again.
"This blanket is ready for you now. Do you take your part as a weaver in this magical dance?"
"Yes." The faintest whisper.
"Then there is nothing for you to do but allow the memories of your kindnesses to wash over you.
To illuminate your life by engaging with the kindnesses others have done, for you and for all of humanity - and to allow this to also wash over you, and bathe your threads. Breathe and allow. As you do, they are becoming lighter and lighter, silvering in the sunshine of this infinite grace."
"Sit now and feel the warmth of the blanket. Feel the light cleansing you and drawing away false ideas of wrongs, slights, and limitations. This light is love.
And by your own remembering that you are an expression of this love, you are freed."
And with that, she understands that they are One. This is not her alone, this is 'us'.
She rests, wrapped in gratitude and the softest of blankets, with a full heart, inwardly experiencing the raw beauty of the dance - and she smiles - as she wonders what took her so long.
In the distance, there is music.
Life is for living, loving, laughing and leaping over hurdles.
Sure you have to work…
but what is the work all about if jumping for joy is not on your to-do list?
Your Homework choices are:
1. You - tomorrow - 10 star jumps (or jumping jacks) - in the doorway - at work or at home - facing the world.
2. Make a tin can telephone with string and talk to a friend.
3. Make silly faces at kids on the bus.
4. Make mud pies.
5. Paint with your hands.
6. Investigate glitter or glue for no real reason at all. Stick something to something else.
7. Ring someone up and tell them you love them.
8. Roll down a grassy hill.
9. Go fly a kite.
10. Write "I love you" in lipstick on your mirror.
11. See if you can kiss your elbow.
12. Make up a funny character for a children's book.
13. Take your inner child out for a swing.
14. Make your food into faces before you eat it.
15. Press all the buttons on the thingummies that make music in a FRIENDLY toy shop.
*If anyone says you are silly for doing it, tell them it was part of your Play Therapy Prescription from Doctor Deb.
**Do NOT taste the strawberry scented soap - it doesn't taste like strawberries - I have already done this experiment for you. (Ok - ever hopeful, I did do it twice just in case I was wrong the first time)
(I just tried to kiss my elbow.)
Edelweiss, the song featured in the Rogers and Hammerstein musical The Sound of Music, was a gift today in a session I did with a client.
It arrived, popping into my head, as most do, (have I told you about the Heavenly DJ?) in an extremely relevant moment.
It turned out to be a spiritual healer that was most appropriate and most welcome in the space.
Not only did my client know the song, AND sang it to me, but he also bought an Edelweiss flower when he was travelling, many years ago in Europe.
The spiritual significance of Edelweiss is so encouraging.
It stands for daring courage and noble purity. A hardy plant that blooms in difficult conditions, covered in a layer of fluff, protecting itself against the tough conditions. Used as a symbol of bravery and an award.
To climb and return with Edelweiss was considered a great achievement.
It's been protected in the wild, but is now grown all over colder places in the world, and for skincare ranges and medicinal preparations - Edelweiss is described as a miracle flower - good for vascular health with anti ageing properties and useful in cases of dysentary, diphtheria and tuberculosis.
As I look into the message Edelweiss brings, it says "Tadahh! I made it!" to me. I see its journey through a tough space and how it presents itself, outstretched, and opened really wide.
That star shape is magical. Can you see? If you close your eyes and ask - can you feel the energy of it?
The vibration of flowers can move us deeply into a place of wellness.
It may have traditionally been hard to find, but its generous openness, the exhilarating trip it led you on, and the beautiful energy it shares, is worth the hike.
What a gift.
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Oh my goodness. In my head there are many, many ideas. And sometimes, they can just bite me a little…
Like the one that popped into my head just now. It came from a movie. Sometimes I hear songs, and I call that 'the Heavenly DJ' - today it was fairly and squarely Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump.
I was thinking about how 'life is like a box of chocolates' you know the quote from the movie?
And I was thinking… hmmm if I asked 100 people what kind of chocolates they would choose for a personalised box - what would they choose? And what do our favourite chocolates say about us?
Not for me, the softy too-sweet marshmallowy fluffy stuff. Nooo.
I'd choose peppermint dark chocolate. A bit zingy, uplifting, refreshing, rich and strong - now there is a powerful introduction.
And then a strawberry milk chocolate, a little sweetness, light and gooey - ooh the mouthfeel and the story of coming to fruition in the summer sunshine - mmm….
And then I would want a salty caramel, the chewiness, oh and that sweet combined with the salt - taking the rough with the smooth, melting it slowly over several minutes because I would like to savour it. Aaah the richness of life experience through the years.
You can get so much from a box of chocolates - it's not just a box of chocolates - it's a stroll through your personality.
I can almost smell the box.
There is no chocolate in my house. My mouth and my belly are trying to get my legs to go chocolate shopping. I am resisting. But the force is not that strong within me. I have been bitten - by my creativity.
There is only one known cure for this. I may require a visit to Devonport Chocolates, or the counter upstairs at Smith & Caughey, skip along to Farro - or failing that, I shall nip down to the supermarket and have a 'chat' with Mr Lindt in row 6.
Oh yes, life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get.
For seeing more of the little messages in your life email me here
or text or phone for a session - 021 726 276
-prev post When you feel stuck, Life might be stuck on you.
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I started the day with Drew Dudley. Which sounds weird, but it brought on a day of miracles. And I'm ending it with this...
We are not here to be harsh on each other. I believe we are here to learn as much as possible about each other. To tell stories and keep our humanity alive. To love people that we don't even know. To share kindness and realise, recognise the miracles that surround us every day.
I believe we are here to stand up for what resonates with us. And to give each other grace, encouragement and a safe, peaceful place to rest.
We don't all get it right all the time - but what is right? What is wrong? What is perfect? Who are we to say? And who are we to judge.
What's right for me might not be right for you.
I know that I wish each and every one of you well.
And that while I have a conscious breath in my body I will continue to do so in the hope that my loves reaches around the world and has a positive effect every day.
One of my first miracles today was Drew - tweeting me and telling me he liked my phrase 'biffing people out of my ballpark' and that he is going to use it in his leadership programs that he runs in Canada.
He is an incredible speaker and educator on leadership, as well as a dedicated humanitarian.
I am super chuffed that my words will go to people on the other side of the world. Even more fabulous is that they are strong words, designed to create inner strength, through standing up for something you personally resonate with.
I am ok with biffing people out of my ball park. And so, I hope are you. We don't have to be perfect, but life is easier if we resonate with the people around us. We have a choice to do so, in fact, for most of us, it's our right. Challenges are good too, but there are ways to make sure they are in line with necessary growth. Banging your head against a brick wall, doesn't make it less brick, it only brings concussion.
Sometimes you need to find (or even create) a door.
Anyway. Sometimes it's just about loving yourself.
I am rounding out the night with this beautiful song: Love is easy.
Apart from anything else - it's our wedding song, so totally perfect for everyone.
Dance. Sing. EnJOY.
But most of all, love.
You're beautiful. *Don't argue with me about this tonight. I have my ranty pants on.
In many cases ONE Energy Healing session can release ALL your pain.
can cut the distance between You and Your Healing into minutes.
Pain, stiffness and tension are all energy blockages - even pain due to injuries - and energy healing clears this.
Why do I think energy healing is great?
These are results...
and... helping plants grow. (You should see the size of my jade plant leaves!)
So what else is possible? All these things have happened for my clients, their testimonials are here.
I was a sceptic who regularly took Panadol and other painkillers for a chronic sore back. I had phantom pains, a broken heart, felt depressed and had low self esteem. I recovered from a prolonged series of traumatic life events that brought both extreme pain and around 30 years of fear. I still am partly sceptic and that's why I love to see and hear results.
Every day, people are helped by this work.
It works over the phone, via Skype, anywhere in the world.
Some people are helped in ways they never dreamed possible.
Are you ready to believe that you can let go of pain?
Jennifer Anniston once joked that her life was spookily like her movie roles,
and instead of playing dysfunctional women who constantly get left by men, she
would like to have played a few happily married women with two children and a dog.
I can see her point.
We are what we concentrate on, and it looks like she pours herself into her movies. But which came first? The chicken or the egg? It's a cycle isn't it? In order for things to change - somewhere, someone has to break the cycle.
We are aligned with what's around us. All the more so if we really throw ourselves heart and soul into it, because it sits around in our auric field and flows in and out, a little like high and low tide. We are electrical, magnetic creatures.
If we are drawn to drama, it is around us.
Perhaps we are watching it, reading it, living it. If we enjoy drama and don't mind it in our lives, that is great.
It's when the drama gets to be a bit too much and makes life difficult, that we might need to choose.
The body certainly operates well without it.
A few years ago (when my life was filled with drama) I stopped complaining about having no spare time and instead switched off my television.
It was my first step to self discovery.
Although I had read lots of women's magazines in my youth,
I had grown very weary of the sensationalism, stereotypes, pressure, advertising, and the misleading headlines that many were full of.
My second step, was to stop buying those magazines. Gradually I stopped wishing I had legs like Elle MacPherson and started enjoying the legs I had.
With my own perfectly good legs - the third step I took, was to figure out what brought me joy.
I discovered joy, bliss, energy and more and it was in the real connections that I made with people, being engaged with life and with nature that I found my true calling.
Walking people through heartache, hardship, pain and loss - and out the other side into the sunshine. Bringing people who believe life just has to be ordinary, that they are all on the treadmill to a life filled with miraculous possibility and awakening people to their brilliance - that's my calling.
I don't have to go hiking to see the beauty of nature. It's around me, it's right on the end of my nose.
It's in you.
I changed my life from a journey of pain, to a journey with brilliance, and you can too. The greatest part about it is - you don't have to take as long as I did, because I can teach you what I learned. I didn't have a Deb to help me walk free sooner - but you do.
We can do it together - one small step at a time.
ReStart is a program of three sessions, including a life overhaul - clearing for mind, body and spirit, home clearing plus mentoring. Clearing the old, getting strong in your self now, getting strong in your environment(s) and creating your own amazing life.
Deepak Chopra is amazing - listening to him just inspires me to write and write.
A lecture he gave in Tagore yielded these notes:
Just 20% of people in the world are in jobs they love.
If people are ignored by the boss at work - their rate of disengagement is at 40%.
If the boss criticises them, the rate drops to 20% - meaning they respond better
to criticism than being ignored. If they are praised it goes right down to 1%.
The source of these figures is a Gallup World Poll. (Deepak is one of the Gallup
What's true for work is true for all of life, and I started thinking about how this would affect love relationships.
And remembered one of the last times I watched Oprah (about 15 yrs ago) I saw Dr Phil on her Show.
He had a couple with him and the man was complaining about his wife and their bad
relationship. They were very open to receiving help - the husband said his wife had 'let herself go and was fat and unattractive and they weren't having sex.'
She said she felt like 'he didn't care about her, she was just the machine that ran the
house' and she didn't feel attractive so sex wasn't really on her list, she was too stressed out.
Dr Phil asked her when her husband last told her she was beautiful. She couldn't
remember. So he gave them homework. Daily - even though the husband didn't feel that way and she would think it was rubbish, her husband was to look into her eyes and tell her she was beautiful - for a month and then come back to the Show. That was it - and off they went.
When they came back he was holding her hand and the light was shining out of her. He couldn't stop smiling. She looked radiant, amazing and lighter.
It was pretty obvious they had done their homework. They said the first few days felt like lies and they weren't engaged with it. Slowly but surely they both secretly realised they were looking forward to it. Then one day (on about day 24) they just cried and held each other. They had found their way home.
She had lost real weight too – her emotional wall had come down and her heaviness had lifted. And of course they couldn’t get enough of each other!
Did you notice my use of the word engaged?
Magic is there for us in the moment we engage with it.
When people fall in love and get married – engagement is more than a time for a ring
- it's a description of how they are with each other. When they get married,
some people disengage. But some don't. What's their secret?
Sometimes everyday life existence we have piles heaviness on top of our engagement and breaks it. The Grind, feeling like you are on the treadmill, stress and pressure all put life into the adrenal fight or flight response mode and life needs to be shifted back out of that.
That's what Relationship healing is for. Relationship healing moves the rubble so you can see who is under there. It re-engages and re-ignites people, love and grace.
We all do the basics, and under stress, even the basics can suffer. But the basics aren't necessarily the bits that help our spirits soar. The basics don't always give us strength to go the extra mile, so the relationship clearing makes fresh ground for that. It's like cleaning the windows, dusting and vacuuming is to your home.
We all wash houses, cars, bodies and clothes, but there hasn't been an energetic way to just lift the stress up and clear it out of relationships till now.
And sometimes people need clearing in order to move on, to admit that they have
tried everything, to be ok with making an ending where they need to. A
relationship healing also does that. It puts people in the right place according
to what is in their best benefit. You might not have realised, but you
really can choose.
It's up to
Energy expert, Deb is also a spiritual teacher, healer, writer and artist.