In my biggest moments of moving forward, I was nearly always a bit terrified, as when you start anything, you are walking on a bridge to a possibility.
The bridge is literally appearing under your feet as you take each step.
You don't know what it looks like when you get there because you've never been there before.
You're creating a new world.
All you know is, you don't want to stay where you were because something indefinable is calling you forward, urging you on. You're carving a path.
It's different to doing something that's been mapped out for you, carving a path requires a relationship with courage. Carving a path requires a relationship with dislodgement and willingness. Carving a path requires a desire for more, and for adventure, and for standing in front of people who know you and saying 'I'm making a change to myself. I may become unrecognisable.'
Carving a path may mean you have to hack out some of the undergrowth you've been navigating (or avoiding dealing with) to make your own clear ground. Your friends or family may find it extremely difficult to let the old you die away.
You'll encounter resistance. You're not taking them with you, at least not at first, but some of them will carve their own paths, encouraged by the light that shines from your life and your journey and the miracles that stream forth as you come into sync with universal flow.
Your almost inexpressible bliss is the red carpet your flow comes singing in on.
The calling can be so gentle at first, it's easy to miss it, or to disregard it as a silly idea, or even as selfishness. But it's still there.
Quietly awaiting acknowledgment.
The truth is...
Most people who start are scared.
Most people who don't start are scared.
But the ones who've started, have at least started something, and you can bet anything that when they did, they were making up some of it as they went along. Just as people who forged paths always have, just as water finds it's way, you'll find yours if you keep listening to your heart.
In the moment before you jump, leap, or leave to pursue that dream, you'll say 'shit, shit, shit' to yourself. In the moment before you make that move, you'll suddenly find a willingness to chat to the Big Guy Upstairs whether you believe or not and say 'Oh God, Oh God, Oh God' and then that piece of bridge will settle under your foot and you'll need to lift your other one.
There will be days that you get evidence you're crazy. People will smugly tell you that you don't know what you're doing while you're building your dream. The 'world was flat' though, remember? And according to someone in 1812, scientists had invented everything it was possible to invent. And all you're asking for is to recognise your greatness is a live spirited thing (yes it is) and be paid for it. It's yours.
All you're doing is integrating something that has had a pulse inside you beating forever and giving it real life outside of your body.
All you're doing is remembering and valuing it.
Yes it's scary. Self-doubt is a real thing. But sometimes self-criticism masquerades as self-doubt, and you need to check and make sure you're cheering yourself on instead of raining on your own parade. Self-doubt can come along when you are SELFED-OUT and need to rest from your ideas and any pressure that you've placed on yourSelf. So rest when you need to. Ground and recharge in the earth.
Take measured steps.
Feel your way.
Dot your i's and cross your t's.
Nobody asked you to leap over a tall building in a single bound with your underpants on the outside.
Listen first. Breathe.
What's it worth to stay still? And what's the cost to stay still?
How wonderful could life be if you were being paid to be you?
Do you need to process something first? Do you need to heal? Do you need to let go? Are you using these things to prevent yourself from bringing love, light, and possibility into that jungle?
When will you give love a go? And when will you answer your heart, mine your magic and fly?
Shit, shit, shit, here you go.
Feel the swear and do it anyway. I did, and so can you.
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