Loss and Christmas...

LOSS AND CHRISTMAS: Here it comes again and it can be a fraught time for those of you who have lost someone, so to my friends who are dealing with loss and grief, I wish you all an extra dose of love and peace, and want to say something to your hearts... 

Your loved ones smile down on you. 
They’re around you and as close as your thoughts. Please know you can speak to them and they can hear you. They know you love them, they do know you miss them. We can even learn to feel their presence. Some of you, I'm sure, already do. 
They want you to do nice things for yourselves, to love and nurture yourselves and to see and delight in the tiny miracles that surround you daily. 

They are richer for having been in your lives as you are from being in theirs. 
They are safe, no matter what faith or creed has told you will happen to them upon passing, it all returns to golden light - even the ones that took things into their own hands. 
Please do not carry guilt about how anyone passed, what more you could have done, the things you never said, and especially do not carry guilt if you ‘weren’t there in time’. 
Guilt is a robber of joy. We cannot pass away if it is not our time, we actually get sent back. 

Some people who need to pass, need to do so without others in the room and that's why when someone is passing, we don't get there on time. Or we pop out for coffee at what we may forever think was 'the wrong moment'. Our love and our life force hold them here, and when they need to leave, heart breaking as it is, they need less of that in the room to go. 

I promise there is an order to these things, even if we humans cannot always see it. I know it feels hard. x

Please, this Christmas, try not to carry their loss as a scar on your heart. 
Carry it as a sacred celebration of how incredibly lucky you were to journey together and, if you need to, write them a little letter telling them what you’ve loved about them and how you will nurture yourself going forward. 

I got such a strong message to send this today (Chr 2017). James helped a distressed lady hang a commemorative card high up on a Christmas tree in a store in Taupo. We hugged her and held her for a while after. She was teary and said she missed her father every single day. I wanted to bring her home and let her rest. 

I was far too teary feeling her heart and emotion to tell her this and I'm wishing I did, but she propelled this message for you and maybe you know someone who needs it. (I don't know who she was or I would send her this.) 

You are absolutely loved. You are absolutely supported and appreciated. Thank you for everything you have done. It was enough.  

Take some time somewhere to breathe and wrap your arms around yourself and sit for a few minutes. 

You’ll get through, don't place any pressure on yourself to do much. We are sending much love.

Blessings and hugs,

Deb & James Rowley x

www.debx.co.nz

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