(And a tool you can use to reset yourself.)
The empathic employee feels everyone in the workplace and sometimes their moods or health are affected by it. Empathy, when directed and understood, is a super power and workplaces without at least one empathic or sensitive person are missing out on something special. Sometimes they’re the glue that holds it all together, and on days when staff are struggling, it’s often the empathic or sensitive staff member who knows ‘just what to say’ to get that person back into themselves and back on track to carry on with the work day.

Empaths just need to know where they end and where everyone else starts so they can conserve energy, and not become too embroiled in saving other staff members from themselves. They can be big over-givers which can become very depleting. 

People don’t necessarily recognise themselves as Empaths or sensitive people because they’re just busy doing life, so here’s a mini guide:
​

1. Can be full of energy one minute and zapped out, flat as a pancake the next. Has definite high days and low days.
2. Is the office kind person, saviour or consoler. 
3. Always gives, always thinks of themselves last. ‘No you first.’ Every time. 
4. Sometimes struggles with focus and gets anxious over what you may feel is a small task. 
5. Rebuffs compliments and doesn’t see their value or really struggles with self esteem or related mood swings. 
6. If they could just see their value, you know it would help them immensely. 

When people recognise their empathy is of value and can be a bit of a superpower, they’re winning and everyone benefits. If you think you have an empathic person in your workplace who could benefit from knowing a few ways to conserve their energy or gather their thoughts, here’s a handy tip to re-centre - you can pop it on a noticeboard: 

MINI ENERGY RESET (for everyone): 

1. Take a few long slow breaths and just think for a moment on where your attention has been/is. 
2. If you have lots of tasks or quite a few things on your mind, it may feel like it’s out like octopus tentacles or like it’s just spread out thin and flat like a pancake. (Your energy is at the end of all those tips or at the edge of your pancake, and it’s a bit like a computer with too many tabs open.)
3. Just breathe in and imagine you’re bringing it all back, breathing it all back or gathering it all back into your head. 
4. Notice yourself and where you’re standing or sitting, your connection point on the floor or the chair. If it helps, you can mentally say ‘I call my energy and focus back from everywhere it has leaked or strayed.’ 
5. Have a couple more conscious breaths, and then you’re good to go. 

If you’ve been avoiding anything, it’s sitting in the background draining some energy from you at all times. So do take action on it to ‘close’ that tab. 

Brain Scientist Jill Bolte-Taylor said in her book, A Stroke of Insight, ‘Many of us think of ourselves as thinking creatures who feel, but we are actually feeling creatures who think.’ 

She also said ‘We are 100% responsible for the energy we bring into a room.’

If you appreciate their characteristics and look after the empathic and sensitive people in your workplace, you’ll create a more empowered team.


​Deb x

​If you want to read more uplifting, inspiring an informative posts, click here:
https://www.debx.co.nz/blogmusing

It looks like people come to me for healing, in truth, they come for time, power, love and support.
Selling time was something I never imagined was possible but my healing cuts recovery time significantly and in some cases, like with Anand’s sore toe here, it completely cuts the recovery time on the spot. I also work on removing internal scarring from the body.
Anand owns his own company and has a technical job which means he needs the full range of movement in his body. If any injury or wear requires time, he comes to me to buy his time back.
How does that work?
I see and talk to the bones, joints, ligaments and cells in the body, bringing them back online when they’ve gone offline. This can happen in minutes.
Anand knows my work well, among other things, I’ve repaired his knee twice, his back, helped his family members - one with recovery from a fall - one release recurring headaches.
He has been coming to me for several years and in those years, he has been able to operate his business without the costs and hassle of too much unscheduled downtime.
He came to me when he broke his toe because he was a few days out from a sightseeing trip and a wedding and he knew he could buy time.
I love working on broken bones and anything that affects the structure of the body.
Anand broke his toe on 03/04 and messaged me after his trip, on the 25/04.
He knows broken bones do not need to stay broken for long and Anand was 3 hours drive away at the time of the session - he had an online one.
Ideally, when your body ‘breaks’ it’s asking for you to listen to it and appreciate it. Most of the time, when a body breaks, people are not in an appreciative state of mind, they’re not thinking of what a body can do, they’re thinking of what it can’t do.
If you’ve been given an unscheduled break (see what I did there?) and time is what you need right now, then let’s have a chat about how much time you can have back.

Deb x

*I don’t need to work from an x-ray, but I very much enjoy them as an extra visual tool.

She loved everyone and just wanted to make things peaceful, so she went about the business of making sure everyone was comfortable. They all had a glass of water or a cup of tea and their clothes were cleaned, folded and put away. She drove them all over the place and waited up late to make sure they were home. She let them choose the movies and the TV channels because she wanted them to be happy and she went without to save up and buy that labelled pair of jeans they wanted and send them on the best trips.

She always made sure they had the best food and she ate the burnt sausage so they wouldn't have to and she was happy when they were happy.

When they weren't happy and they yelled at her she wondered what else she could do to make them happy and she did all sorts of other little thoughtful things to try to cheer them up. She kept them all afloat. The house was mostly tidy, but not perfect because she also worked. They yelled about silly things that really didn't mean much and they forgot to do nice things for her. 

One day a woman called her a people-pleaser. It sounded like an insult. She worried about it. She felt, if she was honest with herself, that nobody cared much about her, but she tried not to focus on that. She didn't realise they didn't ask her what she wanted because she had never had an opinion, she was too busy making sure they were ok. 

They didn't do anything for her because she always did everything. She wondered if they'd notice if she just went off and did her own thing for a day, and thought they probably wouldn't.

She listened all hours to friends and family going through tough times and offered many suggestions, support and connections to help them. She did everything for everyone, cake stalls, the lot and whenever she was feeling under the weather, she told no-one, painted on a bright smile and kept on keeping on and keeping it all together but she was lying to herself. Serenely sitting on the lake, paddling like hell underneath making sure that 'other people' couldn't see how hard she was trying.

She ran on empty and was spread so thin like a pancake. She could take care of everyone else but she didn't have time for herself and if she focused on something she wanted, she would quickly talk herself out of it with logic and conversations like 'I can't do that, it's selfish'.

She was almost impossible to spot. She was someone's wife, someone's mother, someone's daughter, someone's sister..... and her own nobody.

The day finally came when she'd been taken for granted once too often - overlooked for the last time and the pancake blew up in everyone's faces. She threw the dinner in the kitchen and it went EVERYWHERE. And she didn't even clean it up.

It was inconvenient for them, they yelled and cried, one had a tantrum that lasted days - and it nearly swayed her. 

She almost went back in the pan, her first thought was to apologise and make it 'right' but she realised she was only making it right for them, and that kind of right - when a person sells themselves out over and over and over again for other people - is not right at all.

She realised she had played a massive part in educating them to ignore her and so with the thought in mind that she was doing no favours to anyone if she allowed that education to continue - she went out to rediscover herself.

She switched off her waterfall of over-giving, became hard to get hold of. Checked her calls and screened them before she took them, and some she never got back to at all. She went to peaceful creative places, sculpting, book clubs, meditation and yoga. Her children had to learn to take the bus. They had to make their own lunches and wash their own clothes. 

It killed nobody. 

Everyone told her she had lost her marbles, and they didn't understand her anymore, but she felt like she was just finding them after years of being invisible. They called her selfish after her lifetime of eating burnt sausages and she was! It was a revelation. 

She was Self-ish. Her Self was on its way back. 

She had not realised how extensively she had sacrificed it on the altar of everyone else's needs and how far away it had travelled.

She learned to help them was her great joy, but their happiness was not her responsibility. It was up to them to make the most of everything. She actually needed to make sure they could manage to live in the real world where everything would not be done for them. 

And she couldn't do that by continuing on the way she had - it made them entitled, demanding, incapable, thoughtless and frankly sometimes not very nice. 

She had to step back in the name of love.

In order to show them how to take responsibility for their own well being, she had to take responsibility for hers, to fill her own love tank and be a living example of how to be self-sufficient and content.

She realised she was the answer to her own prayers, finally acknowledged her skills and her value - and her right to follow her own star and she started to glow. 

​Deb x 

If you know you're over-giving and need to get the balance right again, you can talk to me here about your needs, or book a session.

I am an empath. Empaths often struggle silently feeling like the one out of place in a world that’s a wee bit too hurt, too loud, too busy, and too fast.
Sometimes, we are all good, and other times we feel too much and because it's still not a thing that's talked about often, sometimes think we’re the only ones feeling it. We can be empaths without realising, because we've just never named it before, and perhaps have been told we're too sensitive.
I don't know about you, but I’ve been the person who shields myself from the world in the pages of a book. I’ve left movies early, I’ve known too much about people instead of just meeting them and giving them a polite nod like others seem to do.
We are often more into animals than people because peopling is too hard - and if we’re into people, we often want to heal all the people in the world. We love our worlds to feel right and be gentle, so that's why harshness can be a challenge.
Depending on where we are at with our energy, Empaths and Sensitives either need to sit in a particular place to scope out the room and people watch, or we need the softest, most haven like corner for our retreat/nurture mode.
We love cushions, but not just because cushions look nice, they must be soft and functional because they often end up on the lap, blocking the tummy from having to deal with the world and all it’s ‘stuff’. Do you do this? It's really common. Blanket forts were part of it, and they were BIG in my childhood. Once we know everyone else feels ok and we’re in that safe (familiar) space or feeling, comfort is G O O D.
Since we love having our favourite place to sit, our experience can be a bit discombobulating if we end up sitting elsewhere. If we’ve bonded with a cafe for example and can’t get our usual spot, it’s not uncommon for us to say ‘How dare they be at OUR table?’ (And no matter how light-heartedly it’s said/meant, it’s actually describing a really feeling experience.)
We often people watch because we’re hyper-vigilant, it’s just in our natures to observe.
We like our bubble of energy to be in the place that fits it best - an essential cosy, perfectly positioned orbit.
So I hope your today is full of the softest cushions and the gentlest love.

​Deb x