 (And a tool you can use to reset yourself.)
The empathic employee feels everyone in the workplace and sometimes their moods or health are affected by it. Empathy, when directed and understood, is a super power and workplaces without at least one empathic or sensitive person are missing out on something special. Sometimes they’re the glue that holds it all together, and on days when staff are struggling, it’s often the empathic or sensitive staff member who knows ‘just what to say’ to get that person back into themselves and back on track to carry on with the work day. Empaths just need to know where they end and where everyone else starts so they can conserve energy, and not become too embroiled in saving other staff members from themselves. They can be big over-givers which can become very depleting. People don’t necessarily recognise themselves as Empaths or sensitive people because they’re just busy doing life, so here’s a mini guide:
When people recognise their empathy is of value and can be a bit of a superpower, they’re winning and everyone benefits. If you think you have an empathic person in your workplace who could benefit from knowing a few ways to conserve their energy or gather their thoughts, here’s a handy tip to re-centre - you can pop it on a noticeboard: MINI ENERGY RESET (for everyone):
If you’ve been avoiding anything, it’s sitting in the background draining some energy from you at all times. So do take action on it to ‘close’ that tab. Brain Scientist Jill Bolte-Taylor said in her book, A Stroke of Insight, ‘Many of us think of ourselves as thinking creatures who feel, but we are actually feeling creatures who think.’ She also said ‘We are 100% responsible for the energy we bring into a room.’ If you appreciate their characteristics and look after the empathic and sensitive people in your workplace, you’ll create a more empowered team. Deb x If you want to read more uplifting, inspiring an informative posts, click here: https://www.debx.co.nz/blogmusing
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 It looks like people come to me for healing, in truth, they come for time, power, love and support.
Selling time was something I never imagined was possible but my healing cuts recovery time significantly and in some cases, like with Anand’s sore toe here, it completely cuts the recovery time on the spot. I also work on removing internal scarring from the body. Anand owns his own company and has a technical job which means he needs the full range of movement in his body. If any injury or wear requires time, he comes to me to buy his time back. How does that work? I see and talk to the bones, joints, ligaments and cells in the body, bringing them back online when they’ve gone offline. This can happen in minutes. Anand knows my work well, among other things, I’ve repaired his knee twice, his back, helped his family members - one with recovery from a fall - one release recurring headaches. He has been coming to me for several years and in those years, he has been able to operate his business without the costs and hassle of too much unscheduled downtime. He came to me when he broke his toe because he was a few days out from a sightseeing trip and a wedding and he knew he could buy time. I love working on broken bones and anything that affects the structure of the body. Anand broke his toe on 03/04 and messaged me after his trip, on the 25/04. He knows broken bones do not need to stay broken for long and Anand was 3 hours drive away at the time of the session - he had an online one. Ideally, when your body ‘breaks’ it’s asking for you to listen to it and appreciate it. Most of the time, when a body breaks, people are not in an appreciative state of mind, they’re not thinking of what a body can do, they’re thinking of what it can’t do. If you’ve been given an unscheduled break (see what I did there?) and time is what you need right now, then let’s have a chat about how much time you can have back. Deb x *I don’t need to work from an x-ray, but I very much enjoy them as an extra visual tool.  She loved everyone and just wanted to make things peaceful, so she went about the business of making sure everyone was comfortable. They all had a glass of water or a cup of tea and their clothes were cleaned, folded and put away. She drove them all over the place and waited up late to make sure they were home. She let them choose the movies and the TV channels because she wanted them to be happy and she went without to save up and buy that labelled pair of jeans they wanted and send them on the best trips. She always made sure they had the best food and she ate the burnt sausage so they wouldn't have to and she was happy when they were happy. When they weren't happy and they yelled at her she wondered what else she could do to make them happy and she did all sorts of other little thoughtful things to try to cheer them up. She kept them all afloat. The house was mostly tidy, but not perfect because she also worked. They yelled about silly things that really didn't mean much and they forgot to do nice things for her. One day a woman called her a people-pleaser. It sounded like an insult. She worried about it. She felt, if she was honest with herself, that nobody cared much about her, but she tried not to focus on that. She didn't realise they didn't ask her what she wanted because she had never had an opinion, she was too busy making sure they were ok. They didn't do anything for her because she always did everything. She wondered if they'd notice if she just went off and did her own thing for a day, and thought they probably wouldn't. She listened all hours to friends and family going through tough times and offered many suggestions, support and connections to help them. She did everything for everyone, cake stalls, the lot and whenever she was feeling under the weather, she told no-one, painted on a bright smile and kept on keeping on and keeping it all together but she was lying to herself. Serenely sitting on the lake, paddling like hell underneath making sure that 'other people' couldn't see how hard she was trying. She ran on empty and was spread so thin like a pancake. She could take care of everyone else but she didn't have time for herself and if she focused on something she wanted, she would quickly talk herself out of it with logic and conversations like 'I can't do that, it's selfish'. She was almost impossible to spot. She was someone's wife, someone's mother, someone's daughter, someone's sister..... and her own nobody. The day finally came when she'd been taken for granted once too often - overlooked for the last time and the pancake blew up in everyone's faces. She threw the dinner in the kitchen and it went EVERYWHERE. And she didn't even clean it up. It was inconvenient for them, they yelled and cried, one had a tantrum that lasted days - and it nearly swayed her. She almost went back in the pan, her first thought was to apologise and make it 'right' but she realised she was only making it right for them, and that kind of right - when a person sells themselves out over and over and over again for other people - is not right at all. She realised she had played a massive part in educating them to ignore her and so with the thought in mind that she was doing no favours to anyone if she allowed that education to continue - she went out to rediscover herself. She switched off her waterfall of over-giving, became hard to get hold of. Checked her calls and screened them before she took them, and some she never got back to at all. She went to peaceful creative places, sculpting, book clubs, meditation and yoga. Her children had to learn to take the bus. They had to make their own lunches and wash their own clothes. It killed nobody. Everyone told her she had lost her marbles, and they didn't understand her anymore, but she felt like she was just finding them after years of being invisible. They called her selfish after her lifetime of eating burnt sausages and she was! It was a revelation. She was Self-ish. Her Self was on its way back. She had not realised how extensively she had sacrificed it on the altar of everyone else's needs and how far away it had travelled. She learned to help them was her great joy, but their happiness was not her responsibility. It was up to them to make the most of everything. She actually needed to make sure they could manage to live in the real world where everything would not be done for them. And she couldn't do that by continuing on the way she had - it made them entitled, demanding, incapable, thoughtless and frankly sometimes not very nice. She had to step back in the name of love. In order to show them how to take responsibility for their own well being, she had to take responsibility for hers, to fill her own love tank and be a living example of how to be self-sufficient and content. She realised she was the answer to her own prayers, finally acknowledged her skills and her value - and her right to follow her own star and she started to glow. Deb x If you know you're over-giving and need to get the balance right again, you can talk to me here about your needs, or book a session.
 PROCESS, PROGRESS, SPIDERS & DAVID ATTENBOROUGH:
I'm reminded today that sometimes the process takes over and people lose sight of their progress. *I was washing grapes in the kitchen sink when that came about. Rinse, rinse, rinse, I was washing all the grime and bits off when a HUGE black spider came up out of the bunch I was holding and said 'MAMMA MIA!!' just a split second before my mouth went into an O shape and my eyebrows went into my hairline and I said 'FARK!' Anyway, sometimes, diving in and having a good scrub in the name of moving forward, get the grape, the trophy, whatever -- or taking action steps to move forward means that a biggie comes up out of the closet. Would you prefer that spider stayed in? Hell no. It has to come up. So figure out what it's teaching you. The spider is part of the process. That it came up at all means you are making progress. If you didn't make the effort to wash the grapes it would still be hanging out there. Secretly making its webs in your meal. It's a bit of a challenge from the Universe to make sure you really want what you want. Do you still want those grapes? Hell yeah. Instead of grabbing the spider and holding it for days and screaming about being stuck in the process, remember the spiders greatest wish is to evacuate the area a screaming human is inhabiting. Carry it gently to a suitable location. Love that spider. The fact that it showed up means it's leaving. You're ok. In fact - you're better off than you thought you were. You are now spider free. That's progress. (And the spider is listening to the sweet music of the garden.) The word 'cess' is sometimes used in front of the word 'pit' to describe a sh*t hole. A process can literally feel like this for a moment now and then. You don't want to stay in it though, so someone has to stop the screaming and STEP through it. There is a door, and 'gress' means to step. The spider is the proCESS. Evacuate the spider. Appreciate the proGRESS. Have a grape. Most importantly, forgive yourself for not knowing the spider was there. Who are you, David Attenborough? No? Right, so be kind. Sit still and say a silent (or a rowdy) thanks for the progress you have made so far. And next time a spider comes up, rinse and repeat, thank the spider, love yourself, see the progress, have a grape. Love, Deb x ps. Need help with the process? That's my department. pps. Dear David Attenborough, if you are reading this, thank you for being a living demonstration of love in action, you amazing human. ppps. No spiders were harmed in the writing of this post. One showed up physically, was relocated and then used allegorically, I haven't yet had a chat with his/her agent about fees. (I'm not certain we speak the same language either.)  I am an empath. Empaths often struggle silently feeling like the one out of place in a world that’s a wee bit too hurt, too loud, too busy, and too fast.
Sometimes, we are all good, and other times we feel too much and because it's still not a thing that's talked about often, sometimes think we’re the only ones feeling it. We can be empaths without realising, because we've just never named it before, and perhaps have been told we're too sensitive. I don't know about you, but I’ve been the person who shields myself from the world in the pages of a book. I’ve left movies early, I’ve known too much about people instead of just meeting them and giving them a polite nod like others seem to do. We are often more into animals than people because peopling is too hard - and if we’re into people, we often want to heal all the people in the world. We love our worlds to feel right and be gentle, so that's why harshness can be a challenge. Depending on where we are at with our energy, Empaths and Sensitives either need to sit in a particular place to scope out the room and people watch, or we need the softest, most haven like corner for our retreat/nurture mode. We love cushions, but not just because cushions look nice, they must be soft and functional because they often end up on the lap, blocking the tummy from having to deal with the world and all it’s ‘stuff’. Do you do this? It's really common. Blanket forts were part of it, and they were BIG in my childhood. Once we know everyone else feels ok and we’re in that safe (familiar) space or feeling, comfort is G O O D. Since we love having our favourite place to sit, our experience can be a bit discombobulating if we end up sitting elsewhere. If we’ve bonded with a cafe for example and can’t get our usual spot, it’s not uncommon for us to say ‘How dare they be at OUR table?’ (And no matter how light-heartedly it’s said/meant, it’s actually describing a really feeling experience.) We often people watch because we’re hyper-vigilant, it’s just in our natures to observe. We like our bubble of energy to be in the place that fits it best - an essential cosy, perfectly positioned orbit. So I hope your today is full of the softest cushions and the gentlest love. Deb x 
Ignoring sensitivity and telling people it's a weakness is linked to fear and getting rid of powerful people: the healers, the midwives, the advocates, the wise women, and too, the sensitive men who were seers, medicine men, witch doctors. Suppressing sensitivity because there is nowhere safe to feel it or discuss it, means we miss out on a superpower we could use to change our lives and the world.
It's the old way to force conformity on the diverse and fascinating people of the world, we are capable of so much more than one straight, structured path. There is no excuse for teaching the visionaries to sit still and follow 'the way it is'. They need to develop the way it *could* be - their multidimensional capabilities and innovate - that's why they are visionaries! Repressed sensitivities contribute to depression and anxiety. We need to be safe to be who we are. As we reclaim and start to understand our sensitivity as a superpower, the 'feeling' people rise. It's not ok to be physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually shamed about your gifts. Empathy and sensitivity are superpowers and it is time for them to BREATHE AND FLY. 
A HEADS UP ON HIP PAIN:
When you are born, your parent carries you on their hip. Physically. If/when you have a child, you carry the child on your hip. Physically. When your parent becomes older, you start to carry them on your hip again. (Male - right side, female - left side.) Energetically. SO many people I see who are in their late forties, mid-fifties and older, have parent energy stuck in their hips. Here's what they tell me. 'It's a physical problem.' 'I played a lot of sport.' 'I had it for a while' (so they think it can't be healed). They medicate themselves for it. They have massages. They buy a new bed. They walk less. They give up hobbies. They tell themselves it's normal because they are getting older (the body listens to this and limits them). Their body sends extra energy to the hip to help it which depletes other parts of their body/mind/spirit. Sometimes it's like broken glass, other times it's out of alignment, often it's wear, but even wear is a state of energy and that can be changed. Whatever it is, the result: G R U M P I N E S S. Life is sh*t with pain, but the pain is pretty much always doing a job as a doorbell. It asks us to pay attention to the tension and invites us not to talk about it, but to take action and remove it. Of all the people I have worked on, over eleven years, maybe two or three hips weren't greatly improved (or completely healed) and this was due to other circumstances. Sometimes a hip healing is done in less than five minutes alongside a whole list of other stuff - shoulder, knees and back - when one part of the body is out of alignment, the rest of the body is thrown into stress. We work on the whole list. We've been told the body has to deteriorate and the whole of our energy field listens to that. Why though? Why should it? I chugged paracetamol through my late twenties and most of my thirties due to pain in my body that was completely released in a healing session. I believed, as many others do, that I needed it. It was a constant in my supermarket trolley. We know it's toxic for the liver, but it's so easy to buy and I questioned nothing because I was told when I was young that we get sore when we get older. (Falling into line with the narrative is easy too.) I've watched people walk away normally after almost crawling into my healing room. I've watched as tension and old drama fell away from the shoulders of a client and her gait improved so much she was asked if she was the rightful owner of her mobility permit. I've watched gout drop away as a leg that was painful and swollen deflated and returned to a healthy state (in minutes). I've watched a lady tuck her walking stick under her arm and stroll off, loaded with inspiration and excitement after not being able to function. I've watched a client's amazement as her torn shoulder, pain and strain vanished in a moment. It's so heartwarming. <3 Our bodies are incredibly amazing receivers and recorders. We can bounce back astonishingly from the library of pain, stories and energy that are held stuck within our cells. Our stories either boost us, carry us along in our flow or weigh us down and create resistance. To me, if it shows up in the body, in almost all situations it can leave the body again. With understanding, insight and the right invitation to go, miracles occur. This is the work of the energy specialist. Any misalignment, or pain in the structure of the body can be looked at. Want to know more or book a session? |
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BioSonar Healing, Reiki Healing & Classes, fourteen years, decoding life and creating miracles with love.
© 2021 Deb Rowley - Kinloch, Great Lake Taupō, Aotearoa.
'Deus dabit vela'
*Any guidance is given on the basis that you use the information with discernment and common sense, for your benefit and the benefit of others.
Healer | Teacher | Writer | Artist | Shows | Sessions | Programs
BioSonar Healing, Reiki Healing & Classes, fourteen years, decoding life and creating miracles with love.
© 2021 Deb Rowley - Kinloch, Great Lake Taupō, Aotearoa.
'Deus dabit vela'
*Any guidance is given on the basis that you use the information with discernment and common sense, for your benefit and the benefit of others.