Jennifer Anniston once joked that her life was spookily like her movie roles,
and instead of playing dysfunctional women who constantly get left by men, she
would like to have played a few happily married women with two children and a dog.
I can see her point.
We are what we concentrate on, and it looks like she pours herself into her movies. But which came first? The chicken or the egg? It's a cycle isn't it? In order for things to change - somewhere, someone has to break the cycle.
We are aligned with what's around us. All the more so if we really throw ourselves heart and soul into it, because it sits around in our auric field and flows in and out, a little like high and low tide. We are electrical, magnetic creatures.
If we are drawn to drama, it is around us.
Perhaps we are watching it, reading it, living it. If we enjoy drama and don't mind it in our lives, that is great.
It's when the drama gets to be a bit too much and makes life difficult, that we might need to choose.
The body certainly operates well without it.
A few years ago (when my life was filled with drama) I stopped complaining about having no spare time and instead switched off my television.
It was my first step to self discovery.
Although I had read lots of women's magazines in my youth,
I had grown very weary of the sensationalism, stereotypes, pressure, advertising, and the misleading headlines that many were full of.
My second step, was to stop buying those magazines. Gradually I stopped wishing I had legs like Elle MacPherson and started enjoying the legs I had.
With my own perfectly good legs - the third step I took, was to figure out what brought me joy.
I discovered joy, bliss, energy and more and it was in the real connections that I made with people, being engaged with life and with nature that I found my true calling.
Walking people through heartache, hardship, pain and loss - and out the other side into the sunshine. Bringing people who believe life just has to be ordinary, that they are all on the treadmill to a life filled with miraculous possibility and awakening people to their brilliance - that's my calling.
I don't have to go hiking to see the beauty of nature. It's around me, it's right on the end of my nose.
It's in you.
I changed my life from a journey of pain, to a journey with brilliance, and you can too. The greatest part about it is - you don't have to take as long as I did, because I can teach you what I learned. I didn't have a Deb to help me walk free sooner - but you do.
We can do it together - one small step at a time.
ReStart is a program of three sessions, including a life overhaul - clearing for mind, body and spirit, home clearing plus mentoring. Clearing the old, getting strong in your self now, getting strong in your environment(s) and creating your own amazing life.
You know the one. That moment when your itchy trigger finger hit the wrong button. And all your writing is lost.
I just had one.
And my zen slipped slightly for a minute.
It was good. Really good. I enjoyed writing it, I enjoyed reading it. I was just tweaking something, when I slipped, and in my new blog space, I irretrievably binned more than half of it.
After I gasped as if I was asthmatic, and inwardly winced, like a wincy, wincer could wince. (I don't know what one of these is - but you get the general picture) I realised something important...
Everything is perfect.
There is a reason why you are reading this, and not reading my other shiny, beautiful blog post. I don't know that reason yet - suffice to say - if it hasn't remained here, it wasn't meant to. (argh though, argh)
Maybe I was underselling myself? Perhaps I wasn't offering enough?
Perhaps I was blinding you with science, when you could all do with a night off.
Whatever it is - I'm breathing again now - it's perfect and I look forward to it showing up in some way with a message that is relevant for me.
I'm always grateful for testimonials, especially when they are from someone who is new to my work - it helps others who are unsure, to get the healing they really need... and also to know that even old pain can be removed so simply.
Insomniacs nearly always have one thing in common - a busy head.
Not just any old busy head, but a busy head that they believe cannot be silenced.
Yesterday one of my clients cried when her head went silent. Like me, she had never remembered experiencing it, and she almost didn't know what to do with it.
Insomniacs have stress around them and it's stress they believe they 'just have to live with' or 'can do nothing about' because it may be from life trauma, things that have happened that they just can't let go of, or it's from people around them.
They are prone to thinking quickly, can be incredibly decisive and forthright and can take a long time to get to sleep, waking in the wee small hours to toss and turn, again with a busy head.
They can be workaholics. Because they think faster and move faster, people pile work on them - and they get it done. This leads to brownie points and a sense of achievement that encourages them to take on more work.
This leads to more stress and busyness.
They also worry a lot about people who don't cope well and can see all kinds of plans and strategies that are perfectly obvious to them, but would be near impossible for the non-coper to take on board. This leads to further worry.
The kind of insomniacs I am discussing are prone to soldiering on without taking too much notice of their own needs. They have given up on trying to sleep and instead come to terms with the fact that they seem to run on a hidden reserve of energy that just keeps them going, but also sort of separates them from life.
They may have 'tried everything' but they haven't tried me.
I stop mind chatter in a couple of moments.
Determining where it actually comes from is important and divining what it is there for is crucial.
'Insomniacs' are great receivers and are often hearing their guides while believing it's themselves talking. Their gift is also their curse, because without the skill to direct it - it just runs their lives and runs them down.
Some have had past lives where they had to 'keep the night watch' so people could be safe.
They also always have worry energy embedded in their pillows.
*And if your child isn't sleeping - instead of buying into the common complaint that parents have - look out for my other sleep series blogs - they will be posted over the next few days - and ask me for information.
For a clearing and defining session to discern what it actually is that is blocking sleep - because I promise you - it's not actually you, no matter what you are currently taking responsibility for - text me on 021 726 276.
Susan has been coming along to several readings that I do for people.
She is in spirit. She has shiny, quite straight, shoulder length hair, she is a slim built lady, about 36 years old.
She is wearing a pink polo shirt, smooth surface fabric, a creamy or pale lemon A- Line Skirt and has a pair of white sneakers on.
She could have come from tennis.
She is not mine and so far doesn't belong to anyone I have read for.
She's waiting for her person to show up, (with an appointment to see me) so she can start talking. She is/was nice, does/did lovely things for people, was on the school committee etc, baked and rode a bike here and there sometimes to keep fit.
I'm looking forward to her people showing up too. So far she is very quiet, reticent almost, she fades in and out, she feels as if she did this in life, she could flow quietly into places and out again. People sometimes didn't notice her, but she was very loved and when she passed away she left a VERY big hole.
It seems she may have been hit by a car while riding her bike, and she passed away very quietly, without much sign that she had suffered trauma.
I get the impression she was razor sharp at scrabble, studious and also very well read.
She may actually come from Canada, because Ontario comes through around her.
Susan had a big dog, shaggy kind of creamy colour, named Larry or something similar, and her husband - or former husbands name was Mike. She had two children.
Everyone has processed this to the best of their abilities, but Susan's Mum (or Mama)
is really finding it super tough. It seems it is nearly 10 years ago and the anniversary is coming up. It looks like she passed away just a few days short of her birthday.
The song that comes into my head for her is 'From this moment' by Shania Twain and the information that comes with that is that if she were to get married again - she may have been wishing for it - her husbands name would have been Ross.
Susan wants her 'Mama' (not a common NZ/kiwi word) to know that she is Ok, that she is with her Dad - or her Dad was there when she passed.
And this is going to sound weird, but she goes with her Mum to bingo?
Susan says "Ma - take all the hugs you can get." I get the feeling her Mum might have shut them out a bit and really needs them - so if you feel this message belongs to someone you may know, and may help with their healing - please pass it on with my love and blessings.
I talk about the Heavenly DJ a bit.
And many of you know what that is.
Some newbies however, might be wondering, so I will explain myself.
My Heavenly DJ is the source of the songs that just show up in my head.
I get LOADS of them. It's a gift and a 'channel' lots of people can access, some people call them 'earworms' but they are important - and if you have a problem with them getting stuck in your head - listening to them, understanding and saying thanks, helps them to go..
I have had some terrific messages from the songs that come through to me. Often the song is obscure and I have to do some research to find out what it is - then have a listen. (This makes it difficult if the song actually has words like na, na, na, na in them, which one did recently.)
I am often wowed by them, because it's so apt for my particular situation.
I use the words/phrases God, The Big Guy Upstairs, The Universe and so on intermittently, and the Heavenly DJ is the music department of that...
And how do I know the Heavenly DJ/God has a sense of humour?
There have been various jokes played over the years, but the most daft musical pun I've received to date goes like this...
James and I were cooking dinner tonight.
I am fluffing about at the bench, and he wanders off from his soup and then says "Hun can you stir my soup for me?"
Like a flash of lightning in my head - seriously - oh so fast - I hear a 70's song.
'I'll be your substitute'
I hear the band singing in my head. (At this stage I don't know who the band is, but that's irrelevant as the full message comes through.)
'I'll be your substitute?' I think/say in my head to the Heavenly DJ... 'Umm - I
don't understand THAT message??'
There is a pause and a feeling of mirth presents itself.... another pause.
I get this reply.....
'I'll be your SOUP-STIR-tute.... wooHOOO...' and I can hear laughter.
Listen to the song. You'll get how well it fits.
Took me half an hour to shake it back out of my head. My apologies if it gets stuck in yours. Obviously the Naff jokes department night shift were on duty, or some angelic smartypants was messing with the intercom.
(God knows it's important to have a laugh.)
And here it is, for your listening pleasure....: Clout 1978 I'll be your substitute.
-next blog post
Cameron and the phantom pain
I was in the hospital a few years ago visiting my grandfather, when I had wild heart palpitations. Standing in the lift alone I felt a surge and then a crazy heartbeat.
Asking internally what it was, I was shown the side of the lift melting into the room next door and I could 'see' a man on the table having resuscitation work done on him.
Relieved I wasn't actually sick - and knowing if someone else was - at least they were in the right place, I sort of 'released' the experience, went off to visit Poppa, and eventually went home.
I wandered through my week, working, getting tired, really tired, and putting it down to being a single mum of two boys, with a day job etc. And by the weekend, I was UTTERLY knackered. I was starting to believe I might have chronic fatigue syndrome.
We were out running errands and I was so tired I had to stop the car because I felt like I was going to fall asleep at the wheel.
I parked and said to the boys "I'm really sorry, but I am going to have to sleep for a few minutes.” They said they were ok with that, and I just surrendered to it and woke a little while later to find a friend parked on the other side of the road.
She was concerned about me, and also had a bit of a chuckle - calling me a Grandma. I drove home, and that was that.
But I didn't really feel like myself.
A few days later, still knackered I went to see a friend I had recently met, and she had revealed to me that she was psychic. (Despite the fact that I had seen through the lift, I had not really realised that I was psychic - and was not doing my work at this stage)
She said "you've been to the hospital and you have a man (male spirit) with you - have you been getting REALLY tired?"
Surprised, I said yes.
She said “he doesn't mean you any harm, but he is draining your energy”
and that was interesting, because I actually felt like I was on high alert, an adrenal kind of feeling, like a fishing line sounds (that zzzz) when a fish takes off with your hook, AND I felt like I almost had TWO heartbeats.
She told me he wanted me to take him to someone called 'Cameron', and actually - the small boy who lived next door to my old house was called Cameron. I had just moved.
She said “I’m not sure it’s him, but go round and when you get there, tell him (the spirit man) that if this is his Cameron, he can move on.”
I went home, 'hatched' a plan (you'll discover this is a pun), and did my housework. During that time, I discovered a remote control for my old garage door. And in my head came “Cameron, Cameron, Cameron”, the voice was very insistent. I said to it “I need to do this housework, can you wait?” and it freaked me out by saying ‘yes’.
I suddenly realised, the man who bought my other house was also named Cameron,
there were TWO Cameron’s living next door to each other!!
So I went - after I’d been and bought some Easter Eggs. I visited little Cameron, gave him the Easter Eggs, and then dropped off the garage remote at my old house next door.
I said (in my head) “Right, if this is your stop - please get off.”
And I drove away.
About half an hour later I started feeling like myself again.
The following day I was back to my fully energetic ME and realising just how much the whole experience had affected me - it was astonishing, to say the least..
If I had presented a Doctor with my symptoms, he would not have known where to look. Because they were real - I WAS feeling them - and not 'real' at the same time, and because of this experiences and others like it, I have more of an idea of what causes ‘phantom’ pains.
So next time you feel VERY tired, or not ‘like yourself’ or have unexplained pains anywhere in your body, get help. And then - get other help. Ring me – have a session, or a skype or even message session. It’s important to check medically, but also do check spiritually – so many people medicate and rack their brains for reasons why they are ‘sick’ and they are NOT sick.
I can’t tell you how many people I meet that take pain relief for pains that belong to a spirit they are carrying. You can also carry pain for another (living) person in the family, or for a friend or someone you sit next to at work - or even pass in the street.
This whole world is about energy. Everyone feels it in some way, shape or form, but most don't actually realise how to work with it and indeed what it is.
A session can make a big difference to how you feel and closing off the gate that lets them in, or spiritually setting them free can be transformational and very rewarding. Most people have no idea just how hard this presses down on their lives.
And yes - please do hear me when I say 'pressing down' because often another name for that is depression. What if you are carrying a war widow and all her sadness around with you and everything you do to your human body is not releasing her - so you believe you have depression? What if you have picked up a spirit who lost his land and wants it back? Do you think you might feel at war with yourself - and perhaps everyone else?
We are OH so much more complex than just the physical body that we call home.
If you need help understanding what's going on for you, get in touch.
Thank you for reading my post. If you would like to read more, click below.
I work onstage in New Zealand and also run a clinic for one on one treatment on the North Shore of Auckland. I work worldwide via Skype.
-50 ways energy healing helps my clients here
-42 'commandments' for a great life here
-Unnecessary Unwellness & AMPing life here
Contact me on: 021 726 276
"Here's what goes wrong: most men are really seeking freedom. We're teaching you, the freedom you are seeking is the freedom from the bondage of resistance that is always self-imposed. But most men are looking for
freedom. Most women are looking for security, security that they'll only find when they come into alignment with who they are. But they're looking for it through a
So she's looking for more security, which is making him feel less free, and he's looking
for more freedom and that makes her feel less secure. And so that's the basis of
most contention in most relationships." ~ Abraham Hicks
I Love Abraham. That is bang on. Many women take love where they can find it. They spend the rest of the time trying to jam some perfectly lovely man into the box and banging the lid down on it. He gets speed wobbles trying to fight his way out, so she quickly sits on it and nails it shut. And he doesn't want to hang around? Go figure.
When an empowered gorgeous Goddess who knows she doesn't NEED a man shows up in a space with a gorgeous man who knows how to be a rock without being OWNED - then you've got something going on. Beautiful.
I can only reference to my feminine experience of this and so I will.
I used to be so scared my man would run away, that I wanted him to stay home. Guess what? He eventually ran away. Did me (and you) a favour - because he set himself free to learn other things and made me rely on myself.
A painful, beautiful, life changing gift. A transformation even. If he hadn't done that I wouldn't be doing what I am doing now. So finally, I'm grateful.
Standing back and looking at the big picture is beautiful.
I was a self imposed doormat that transformed and grew into a magic carpet.
I'm no love guru, but this much I do know. If you get it, before he runs away and you stop clinging, he suddenly gets the freedom he needs and he may not go. The kicker is - he will only get that if you work on yourself. It's not your job to work on him, it's
your job to be the strong empowered Goddess you were born to be, creating your
own magical life. If he goes, he is not yours and you have some situation or
person coming that is much more suitable for you.
Trust in that because if you keep your attitude upright it will happen.
Bitching, bitterness and man hating will not bring you new love on any level above what you had, it simply reveals you didn't get the lesson and worse, you will very likely
end up with the same guy just with a different 'suit'. (Yes I'm still speaking from experience)
It's nobody's responsibility but yours to make YOU happy.
You can be your own new love.
Go plan some great things to do and instead of waiting by the phone, let it go to message.
And don't bag men. Or hang out with man-haters. Man-haters have a vibe all of their own and regularly take negative pleasure perpetuating their own myths by attracting
If a new relationship starts with, "my ex did this to me" and you meet that with a sad or
angry story of your own, you have little more in common but pain and negativity.
Give all that a great big swerve, do some work on yourself and be grace filled and gorgeous. You'll likely save yourself years of pain, possibly wrinkles, and maybe even money.
Getting over it and you need a hand starting anew?
Have some healing and clear the decks. There could be a great benefit in cord cutting or clearing.
Do not complain about your life until you investigate the ideas you have.
Make sure your ideas serve your wellness - if they do not - THROW THEM OUT. Get new ideas or leave room for the birth of inspiration.
Bitterness will never make you better, or better than anyone else. Avoid toxic conversations and situations.
Understand that when two people are angry and you don't like it - you are the one who needs to do something about it. More anger feeds the war, put your weapons down. And leave the battleground.
The idea that someone has wronged you is sort of spiritually flawed because every step of your journey has been your teacher, if you did not learn from it - it's guaranteed you have another lesson coming.
Learn fast - requiring the same lesson over and over is not bad luck.
Know that if 'love' requires selling yourSelf short - it's not love - and do something about it.
Be a friend to yourSelf. If you have no friends and you don't like yourSelf either - you know where to start.
Embrace every day as a delivery vessel for new possibilities.
Recognise and honour your values and your virtues.
Dream a dream and take some steps towards it.
Be just a little braver than you think you can be.
Feed your inner child as often as possible.
Light a candle for yourSelf every day. (or when you remember)
Find something to be thankful for.
Do something for somebody else.
Make praise one of your hobbies.
Speak your truth.
If you love someone - tell them - a moment of such courage could change your life forever.
If someone doesn't love you - move on. The person who will love you is
waiting. Taking the ghost of your old partner into your new relationship is one
of those ideas you need to examine.
Remember you have a purpose on this planet.
Know that miracles already surround you.
See the beauty in small things.
Heal yourSelf in nature. At least go for a walk, hug a tree, swim in the sea or lay on the grass.
Share your stories of hope and love.
Act on your hunches.
Smell the roses.
Paint with your hands.
Meditate and rest when you need to. (you need to often)
Love wildly, passionately, deeply, gently, loyally and often.
Give your smiles away.
Surrender everything you can do nothing about. And surrender all your pain and all your (perceived) unhealed relationships.
Find out who you are. Do that NOW. Your joyfulness heals the planet. If you don't know how to start finding your joy - observe puppies and small children playing with water.
Get over yourSelf.
Give with grace.
Receive with grace.
Be pleased to know the end of the world is not today.
You have both less time and more time than you think. So hurry up and... slow down.
Eat honey. If 2000 year old honey is still edible and if 'you are what you eat' is really true, then honey IS the bees knees.
You are each and every one of you a gift filled with gifts. Treasuring yourSelf will help you to honour your gifts.
Drink more water.
(The 42 Commandments are now available as a pack of cards @ just $42 NZD a pack plus postage.
To order yours, click the picture or the red link below to go to the webstore.)
I'm wishing YOU a miraculous day!
Here is a little dabble with 'what we put up with' from negative people.
If people don't like you or if you have
a consistent experience that feels sharp, pointy or draining with a friend
- I give you permission – in case you are not - o relieve yourSelf temporarily of your good manners (just put them to one side) and take a
good hard look at a couple of things:
A. Why your 'friend' (and we could insert family member or partner here too)
feels the need to download on you or bring you down.
B. Why you are allowing it to happen.
Because here is what I have learned...
Someone once labelled me a 'people pleaser' and I felt it was a very negative
judgement. I worried about what was wrong with me and after I investigated myself, I realised the lady who called me that, was a negative person and was challenged by the fact that I liked people and people liked me.
She was a grumpy lady. Not to everyone. To me. All I was doing was making her a cup of tea - I wasn't deliberately trying to 'please' her. And nothing I did was going to please her - she wasn't WIRED for it.
Ejecting her from my field eased life immensely. I continued to do nice things for people - I am here to share kindness - and eventually realised that she had given me a gift.
My boundaries weren't strong enough and I was an over-giver.
Giving to a person whose hobbies include ungrateful fault finding is not necessarily helping them or you. I had the right to be who I was and she had the right to be who she was. If she wanted to be different or happy, that was her responsibility - not mine.
If she could label me - I would not label her, but I could certainly define her role in my life. Name calling isn’t nice, but definition gives you a platform to work from.
It was a relief for me to let her own her own grouchiness.
And I could step back from it. Maybe she might learn from it too, maybe not, but - and this is crucial here - her learning was not my responsibility or any of my business.
Neither was helping her and so stepping back without being unpleasant, was best for me.
In ejecting her from my field I had exercised my right to be selective over the
good manners I had, good manners which were causing me to believe that I should stick around while she was being awful. These were simply my programming and beliefs disempowering me.
Once I stood up and internally said “Hey Honey – that’s not my stuff” I discovered my
internal compass worked better. Another gift. The unpleasantness ceased to flow over me. See how this works?
And now, I can say thank you for her gift. It helped me discover a stronger part of me.
Are you doing your ‘duty’ sticking around with a consistently negative person, and blaming yourself, when you could just let them own it, deal with it – (or not) and be free to be yourself?
Or are you raining on someone else’s parade because of your own pain? Can you stop and investigate what your real issue is? There might be a good opportunity for growth in it.
Are you no longer a match for the friends around you?
People do leave your life. Sometimes letting go or stepping back necessary, but painful, - it doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means it’s time for you to broaden horizons and have different experiences.
Don’t cling, there is always a gift in letting go - it opens your arms to receive more.
And as you know when one door closes another door opens and it's true what they say "what other people think of me is none of my business."
If you are having trouble letting go or wanting to grow stronger boundaries in a painful space - I work with that. Email me for more info via the button below.
Deb Rowley, Energy Expert, Healer, Speaker & Coach