The decision people make, to enter into a hug with a stranger, is a decision to allow themselves to be held. Participation is made easier by the fact they will probably never see us again.
How do we hug? How often do we hug? We've nearly all been 'duty huggers' right?
Hands up if you haven't - but I bet there aren't too many hands up.
The top tip? Take a sign, or wear a Hugs for Peace or Free Hugs tee-shirt. It's just easier. Unless there is a really large crowd, 2 or 3 huggers are all you need.
1. Relax, breathe and don't do it if you're feeling grumpy because your hugs will suck.
2. You MUST let people have time to see you, weigh up the risk and decide that it works for them. You are helping them to walk through a comfort zone gap.
3. Honour comfort zones (don't walk along heckling them, that's not a Free Hug ) let them bring the zone to you.
You can quite often ‘sell' a hug to someone that is a little unsure with a great big smile, open arms and a "hey - it’s just non-alcoholic, calorie free goodness.” You can give a gentle second chance and say "are you sure?" to them if they smile and laugh when they say no.
4. A firm 'No', means no. Hugging anyone that doesn’t want a hug is counter productive and flips all your good energy over.
5. Hug the people who say YES. If they don't want a hug - they are not rejecting you - they are coming up against a wall of their own stuff. Your open heart may be the most threatening thing they have seen for days. But you might inspire them. And quite often people change their minds.
6. Some people will think you are nuts and go away growling. Let that roll off super fast - they are not your audience.
7. Some people will be a bit scared to hug you, but they will laugh and POW! the good vibes will have got them - just like that!
8. Be prepared for surprise huggers. Now and then people will jump into a hug. Some people will get out of their cars and run across the road to get to you for a hug. - Please DON'T go Hugging if you have a sore back.
9. A really healing hug lasts for moments longer than a 'see you later' hug - walls come down and people realise that there really are other people out there who care. It can be a deeply profound experience - wrapped in one magical moment of connection.
10. No Free Hug hug includes touching below the belly or on the butt! The only way is up Baby. Creepy - is creepy.
Smile from the tips of your toes to the top of your field. Arms out, fill your heart with love and greet that person with a full illumination of your energy field, seeing the light in them, regardless of whether they might believe it's present or not. You see them - as the beautiful soul they are.
That illumination brings deep clearing on so many levels. Let them go and bless them. Have fun.
You'll meet all sorts. I've hugged thousands of people and I can tell you, there are plenty of different huggers out there.
The rigid 'three pats on the back' hugger will probably pass you by - but the open arms 'come to Mama' hugger will say yes.
The 'surreptitious pelvis presser' hugger may have a go - yes it's yucky - no it doesn't happen often.
There is the 'I'll hug if you hug, but don't get carried away' hugger, those ones are generally doing it for points because their friends did.
The 'duty' hugger makes me a bit squeamish - Mothers often direct their kids to hug when the kids are not comfortable, we ALWAYS say to people who do this "no way - we respect boundaries and honour feelings - if you don't want to hug, don't hug."
The icing on your cake is the 'I love the world and everyone in it' hugger. (These ones are AWESOME.)
Your marriage proposals will come from the 'I haven't hugged a woman for years, would you come home and cook my dinner?' hugger. (These may also come with a quick pat near/on the bottom, but as they are mostly elderly men - I have not yet bopped one on the nose.)
Travellers are amazing, and so open to hugs, and there are a huge amount of people who just need a hug because nobody gives to them without expecting something. Ever. (These ones are often Mums.)
A Free Hug is just that - Free. If someone opens their arms to you and allows you to hug them, treat them as if they are offering you a most precious gift, because they are. An open heart is pure treasure.
It's not a PR exercise. You are giving - if you're really doing this properly, the Spirit of Free Hugs will stop you from speaking about your work unless you are directly asked by another person. Then it’s fine to talk about it and if they are genuinely resonant with it, let it grow organically into connection. Though I've hugged thousands of people, I've probably handed out only 6 or so business cards. This is not because I'm 'doing it wrong.'
Massive bonus: Many people will answer your free hug with a real hug of their own and give equally.
Most humbling and also very thought provoking: Some people will tell you they have not been hugged for years.
In this digital age we are embracing cyber space and losing touch with each other. We are more connected, and somehow, some of us are more alone then we have ever been. We just need to open our arms more.
In time I have hugged thousands of people. When I first started, I had to get a permit from the local council to do it.
I find it funny that I am, technically speaking - a licensed Free Hugger.
There have been so many highlights, but possibly the most poignant, were the elderly lady who initially said no, then said yes and had a really big hug, then told me she had not been hugged for ten years since her husband died… you read right - that's 10 years. How does that happen?
And the 12 or 13 year old boy who could not believe anyone would want to hug him (his Mum didn't want to - she didn't want him), he had a couple of hugs, then swapped shirts with his friends in an effort to go 'undercover' so he could come back and get more. We told him he could have as many as he liked.
Hugs can help throw people a lifeline when they've been hanging by a thread.
I hope you are inspired to share more, even if they are just at home.
And it's Mothers Day this weekend here in New Zealand - so you know where to start, don't you?
All this reaching for happiness stuff sometimes stretches your nerves out all twangy and makes your fingernails a bit thin and crumbly.
Do it if you wish, some days, and on others - try instead sitting with what you have and making the best of it.
That worked for hundreds of years before the self help movement showed up.
The songs says 'some days are diamonds, some days are gold, sometimes the hard times, won't leave us alone.' And it can seem like that. But sure enough things shift. They shift a hell of a lot faster if you recognise that life has it's ups and downs. It's your choice to have a healthy attitude about the ups and downs, but happy most of the time comes with acceptance that you can't control everything, and a big, deep breath in, and a big whoosh deep breath out.
You don't 'have' to be happy.
Just be. Hang out with life instead. Take the pressure off.
You are who you are and the day - it just is what it is. Every single day has seasoning - a bit of happy, a bit of this, a bit of that. Life is like the spice drawer.
Happy can show up again when you've given yourself a big old break from the grind. Reaching for happy can be hard work.
Bugger off and do something nice instead. Get out of your head. Happy isn't there.
the little things that make your heart sing, are really important, go with what feels good to your gut, listen to great music and spend time with the trees, grass and sky.
I am sooo excited.
Following a 'You Can Do IT!' prompt from one of my lovely clients, I am listening.
I looked at the blocks I had around publishing my book and realised to start with, I was worried, wanted to do something on a small scale.
I'm a tactile person and I love beauty and grace and, well, just the way things 'feel.'
It has to feel right. Soooo I am embarking, (could even be barking mad) on a project. I am hand making each book.
It's in the process stage at present, I have orders for seven now.
It is a compilation of my writing, both private and previously published, a smattering of lovely DeLightScopes, some of my colour healing drawings and a reminder of our divinity. It will be infused with healing and light, and each one will be dedicated to the person it has been created for. Just 8 x 8 = 64 pages - this equals 1 and that is a fresh energy, new starts, leadership and putting your foot forward. It's a B5 size and resembles a journal. (The pictured book is an inspiration for it.) I did tell someone that I might put spare pages in, but they were horrified thinking about writing in it!
I am quite sure the Angels will bring you lots of feathers for it.
As it will be a little like having a session with me, (and because of the time and materials it takes to make) the price is the same as a one hour session. So it's $100. It is designed to bring you strength, nurturing, love and a beautiful pure energy space to rest with, like the paper that I give out after readings, you can hold it, and feel the energy.
I feel blessed that now is the right time to bring it all through.
To order, please contact me by email here.
A word from the wise…
'Always listen to yourself. It's better to be wrong than simply follow convention.
If you are wrong, no matter, you will have learned something and you will grow stronger. If you are right, you will have taken another step toward a more fulfilling life. '
- Bryce Courtenay 1933 - 2012
You are treasure. I've told you before and sometimes you've soaked it up and said "Yes!" Other times, you've given me that look. The one that says "No way, I'm broken, I'm not that thing you think you see, I am believing that I am nothing much at all." But nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are days when we are resistant, but we have to check ourselves sometimes, and remember that resistance blocks us. In all directions. Flow is really important and we can't flow that well if we have dammed up our stream with rocks.
You're perfect as you are, it just takes a moment sometimes for us to realise this and embrace it, and when life feels tough - now and then, a little nudge is all we need to come back online.
Bryce Courtenay is probably writing away somewhere in the stars. I like to think he is helping me.
I've certainly learned from him and when I read this beautiful piece of writing (below), I think we share similarities of vision. He, more than any other writer, opened my eyes to african stars, to the power of one, to hopes, dreams and far away places.
When I see his books, I scoop them up. At a school fair I discovered 'A Recipe for Dreaming' and it was a dollar. I felt blessed, inherited a bookmark and a little note that said 'whether you are near or far, I have roads inside me, that take me to where you are.' I wonder who left it there. It's a heartwarming extra gift.It's a curious thing, reading another persons secondhand book. I wonder where it's been, who has soaked it's wisdom up, who has been entertained. Did it mean to them, what it means to me?
Bryce writes 'The combination of learning to dream and getting into the habit of asking yourself questions is, I believe, the beginning of a way to live a happy and original life.'
This is accurate for me. I spent years running from myself and only recently realised how to stop and ask myself what was right for me, how I felt and what I was here for. Too often the treadmill captures us.
I thought I would share this little passage from the book with you because it has inspired me so.
'You were not born empty.
God formed you with perfect feet and hands and a heart that beats non-stop, sometimes for a hundred years. He made you complete.
Why then, do you assume He made you empty?
He didn't, of course. You inherited a thousand generations of wisdom, skill, poetry, song, all the sunrises and sunsets of knowledge past. You are the sum of all the people who went before you.
You are a refinery of intellectual wealth.
The full flood of antecedent wisdom is piped and stored within you - how to climb the highest mountain, slay the biggest monster, how to survive fear and how to summon your own courage and take pride in your wonderful intelligence.
Inside you are more possibilities than you could possibly use up in one lifetime.
If you can dream it - you can do it, because the instinctive knowledge of how to succeed is already programmed within you waiting to be turned on. Waiting to flow like a river as you come on stream.'
I love it, don't you?
Bryce has been a big part of my dreaming. Perhaps he can inspire you too.
This week renewed communication lines are open and an issue that has been sitting out in left field comes in for your perusal. The opportunity for signing the issue off arises and you find yourself with completion.
Celebration is in the air by Friday.
On the weekend, time seems to stretch out as the completion energy carries through.
You cross things off your to-do list and are pleased to find things flowing - and you are inspired to achieve more.
Thank goodness, because it may have felt a little like you were pushing through jelly or quicksand over the last few weeks.
Stand in a clear spot, and imagine or visualise you are surrounded by, and x-rayed by, gold light.
Say to yourself - either silently or out loud "all my needs are met, now and always in Perfect Grace."
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth - and when you are ready, step out of your circle into your new, clear space.
Indigo - a stunning, concentrated and powerful colour that can heal, stimulate dreams, aid psychic awakening, raise concentration - may help memory, eyesight, reduce bleeding, release tension, and release headaches. It is also used to help the sinuses and it certainly helps meditation.
Indigo conjures up the night sky, mysticism, magic and moonlight.
If you are out of balance with indigo, life may be spent too much in the mind, consorting with ‘what ifs?’ sleeplessness, mind chatter, distraction, headaches, eye trouble, sinus problems, and even some ear problems. Perhaps your veins could also be affected.
It is the colour that represents the brow chakra, (also known as the ‘third eye’ or ajna chakra) which is strongly associated with the Pineal Gland (charged with producing the serotonin derivative melatonin – a hormone that - amongst other things - regulates/affects sleep patterns.)
The Brow Chakra has a correspondence to age 36 – 42, the age when 'what about me?' and 'what's this all about anyway?' often shows up - and of course - the bigger question 'WHO AM I?'
French philosopher Rene Descartes who named the Pineal Gland 'The Seat of the Soul', spent his life studying that very thing and is responsible for a very popular quote 'I think, therefore I am.' translated from 'Cogito Ergo Sum'.
I prefer to look at it as 'I am the sum of my thoughts.' For a time we forget ourselves, we are somebody's child, brother, sister, mother, father, husband or wife, and sometimes we are our own nobody - but around 36 - 42, if we haven't already - we somehow awaken.
What we dwell on, IS what we dwell in, it was true in Rene's lifetime (1596 - 1650) and it is true now.
How do we have a healthy pineal gland? Keep up the indigo and limit your fluoride exposure - studies indicate that fluoride plays a very large part in the calcification of the pineal gland – so avoiding fluoride toothpaste and fluoridated water, and eating blueberries could be the best things you could do. Blueberries come from a family of plants called Vaccinium.
Doesn't that sound like a vaccine to you? Could they really be a natural medicine, or an antidote to what ails us?? Yes they could.
Blueberries contain a chemical called anthocyanin – which gives blueberries their COLOUR! and this chemical appears to be the one that protects neurons in the brain. Anthocyanin* promotes sharper vision, concentration, is anti inflammatory (a vasoconstrictor) and antioxidant. It’s beneficial for heart disease, and also is said to slow or stop internal bleeding. Knocking out some of the oxidative stresses associated with aging – partly by enriching and cleaning the blood. If you think about it – inflammation is going to make blood vessels swell, imagine all those tiny vessels behind your eyes and in your sinuses – it stands to reason that if they are swollen, breathing could be affected, sight may be affected, and concentration would be reduced. So introducing a vasoconstrictor into the diet - such as blueberries, is very likely to create a benefit.
If you, like me, have looked at blueberries and wondered why on earth they are so expensive – after all, they really are only food – think again. They most definitely are medicine – their lovely little fat indigo tummies bathe you in colour and with their amazing colour chemical medicinal properties – they could help your wellness significantly!!
AND you can grow them at home quite easily in large containers.
*While researching this article I discovered that blueberries, bilberries, cranberries, huckleberries and black raspberries are ALL part of the vaccinium family and all have very similar properties. Leading plant expert Michael Moore says (of huckleberries) “some folks with allergies and the tendency for skin hyperactivity may find that the tea decreases their inflammatory responses”. Source - Medicinal Plants of the Pacific West
(I expect that this would be to do with settling the capillary action/reaction that creates an itch or 'explosion' on the surface of the skin.)
Colour has been largely overlooked as a sort of fringe or alternative study, but now greater store is being set by the psychological effects it has on the human body.
Jay Neitz, Professor of Opthalmology and colour researcher from the University of Washington says:
"The cells that get excited by orange light and calmed by blue light don’t just connect to our circadian pacemaker; they also go to areas of the brain that control things like mood. This partially explains things like seasonal depression, but also helps make sense of our intuitive feelings that blues are calming and reds are energising."
'Intuitive feelings?' - isn't that good to hear coming from a scientist?
Blue and red are on the opposite ends of the spectrum which means if we have too much stimulation, too much GRRR and too much red, we could have issues with inflammation.
We all know an ‘inflammatory situation’ – is an angry one that could blow up in our faces.
So read red, sometimes, as the out of balance angry colour/emotion that it can be – do a body check and ask honestly ‘am I a bit too angry at present?’ If you are and you've been 'seeing a lot of red' lately, try bringing in some indigo (just ask for it, or use fabric - a tee shirt or scarf) to balance, or even trade it altogether for some gentler pinks.
Life needs to slow down, chill out and be restful, not restless. If you are restless, you could try an indigo duvet, to bring in the peace of the night sky, calming and tranquil.
Ancient Indigo was a crystal talisman - Lapis Lazuli available from blues, through indigo to purple) was traditionally worn by royalty to denote power, wealth, wisdom - it was even powdered for medicines (funnily enough, one of them was for the eyes) and potions, and it was used in ancient times to ward off evil.
It contains gold pyrite within, so was considered to be a powerful 'gateway to heaven.' and it was powdered and mixed with a medium for use as a deep blue colorant in paints, dyes and porcelain.
We must remember no chakra colour is more important than the next, but we need to feed our depleted colours. Being healthy in our indigo helps with clarity and order in our thoughts and in our lives.
Traditional Indigo dye from the indigo plant, was unfortunately taken right out of balance when it's beautiful colour was so highly sought after that a slave trade was created to keep up with demand. Now commercial indigo is created, rather than grown, and the trade has mellowed into something a little more palatable. The indigo plant as an Eastern herbal medicine was used to induce purging, and it has never been taken to in the West, studies cite that it was too harsh and so it was crossed off the list forthwith. I believe it's here for great things, and possibly for the mind, but those things are undiscovered as yet.
I’ve so loved looking at my own feelings about indigo and sharing some of this wisdom with you. For more information on detoxing your pineal gland – or for where to get some yummy Lapis Lazuli – message me below.
Note: The information contained in my writing is not a substitute for, or intended to be, a medical diagnosis. It is intended to inform, create awareness, pass on philosophy, studies, open possibility, and enhance wellness. My teaching and my work, partners with allopathic medicine. As always see a Doctor if you require a Doctor. There is great benefit in partnering traditional and alternative medicine.
All things in moderation.
A light day, a bright day. A day filled with potential, and if we choose to approach it with wonder, we will be doing ourselves and all those around us a great service.
Breathe in. Imagine you are standing in a circle of gold on the floor, and breathe out, blowing out through your mouth.
One more breath in, through your nose, imagining, gathering, collecting any stress, or 'dust bunnies' out of your body as you go, all the way up from your toes, and breathe out through your mouth powerfully, blowing them away.
Breathe in again, through your nose, really filling out your lungs, and on this breath imagine you are bringing in a rainbow of colour and that it is flooding your body and topping it up where it has felt sluggish. Release this breath gently, and feel your feet on the floor.
Life is for living, loving, laughing and leaping over hurdles.
Sure you have to work…
but what is the work all about if jumping for joy is not on your to-do list?
Your Homework choices are:
1. You - tomorrow - 10 star jumps (or jumping jacks) - in the doorway - at work or at home - facing the world.
2. Make a tin can telephone with string and talk to a friend.
3. Make silly faces at kids on the bus.
4. Make mud pies.
5. Paint with your hands.
6. Investigate glitter or glue for no real reason at all. Stick something to something else.
7. Ring someone up and tell them you love them.
8. Roll down a grassy hill.
9. Go fly a kite.
10. Write "I love you" in lipstick on your mirror.
11. See if you can kiss your elbow.
12. Make up a funny character for a children's book.
13. Take your inner child out for a swing.
14. Make your food into faces before you eat it.
15. Press all the buttons on the thingummies that make music in a FRIENDLY toy shop.
*If anyone says you are silly for doing it, tell them it was part of your Play Therapy Prescription from Doctor Deb.
**Do NOT taste the strawberry scented soap - it doesn't taste like strawberries - I have already done this experiment for you. (Ok - ever hopeful, I did do it twice just in case I was wrong the first time)
(I just tried to kiss my elbow.)
Red is the colour of love. It's regenerative, sensual, stimulating, the colour of power, of the base of our bodies. Of security.
Red is all about growth from 0 - 7 years and cares for our backs, hips, legs and feet.
It is the colour of the wavelength of light from approximately 620–740 nm on the electromagnetic spectrum.
What does that mean to us?
We are on a wavelength too. And when our waves are a bit choppy, we need a little colour tuning.
So this is the first part of that tuning. When we are lacking in energy, our bodies sometimes need red.
To find out if your red balance is out. Stand up, relax, shake yourself a wee bit, flop your arms to the sides and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Ask in your mind… 'do I need more red?'
If your body wants to move forward slightly - you probably do.
Go find a little bit of red from somewhere and tuck it in your pocket for a while thinking about absorbing the colour for healing.
Later check in again with your body and see how you are feeling. Are you topped up?
Too much red too close to bedtime might not be so conducive to deep sleeping. So if you have a big red duvet - and you are not sleeping - try a night with it off the bed - it might be 'winding you up' a bit.
Don't forget to check your pockets and take out your red helper before you pop it in the wash!
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Place your feet flat on the floor and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth to connect.
Close your eyes for a moment and feel that connection. Keep cycling your breath allowing yourself to float and drift into the lightness that envelops you.
In your open hand I place a golden cloth.
It pulses gently with golden light and has an energy that soothes your heart.
As you unwrap it you find you are holding a handful of Pure Faith, humming its song of trust and unconditional love.
Put it where you feel you need it most - in yourself or someone else.
Breathe it in through your nose and out through your mouth and let the magical energy of the faith caress your soul and nurture you.
In love and miracles,
Deb Rowley, Energy Expert, Healer, Speaker & Coach