The Disappearing Self - when you morph in relationships and take on the energy of partner/friend or overgive, never making a choice for the group or the couple. It's all about going with what they want.
The ability to say no grows weaker without practice.
After a while, you start to realise you are everyone else's somebody and your own nobody. And if you have an opinion, it's overlooked because they are used to having it their way.
Result: You feel disempowered, unheard and maybe like they wouldn't notice if you weren't there.
Sometimes people just live with that, thinking they've made their bed and they have to lie in it. Sometimes it feels too hard to stand up and say 'HEY!' to everyone, and so there is a big period of time of just going along. What happens to change this, if you don't do anything with it, is that your body - on some level - could be physical, spiritual, emotional, mental or even at work or in relationships, gets to the point of no return and has some kind of blow out. Too much time spent out of balance is just too much for the body.
If you check in with yourself and you know you are getting to the overwhelm or blowout stage, but you have no idea where to go or what to do - then you need to know this one of the things we address in the program. I've experienced it, walked the long walk out of that space, learning all the way, then - used the lessons I learned to accelerate shifting my clients out, much faster and more powerfully.
Want to talk about that?
Empathy & Sensitivity - Journey of Empowerment,
Module Three is out this weekend (July 2018). <3 You don't have to label yourself an Empath to have empathic abilities or to benefit from the amazing tools.
Join us for 12 Modules of grounding, self worth work, creative visioning AND a private Facebook group for just $55 NZD. www.debx.co.nz/shop.html
Or do the checklist here, see how many of the 60 + points you resonate with: http://www.debx.co.nz/empath-quiz-and-program.html
Previous blog post: Light it up
We live reactively or creatively.
And although I prefer living creatively, we are meant to do both. We learn well from both.
The creative learning pushes us forward and the reactive learning tells us what we've embedded - and sometimes what we creatively need to do next.
I often meet people who feel like they've missed their chance in life.
Now, I can't talk for you, but when I was growing up, there was a very real 'line' in the sand about people's use by dates.
If people over a certain age, lost their job for some reason, everybody winced as it was much harder for them to get other work. They were 'fixed' on the idea.
Although I'm sure many people still think that way, it's not true now in the same way it was then. We have a window on the world through which we see 95 year old yoga teachers and all sorts happening. We can use that to motivate us. Groups of community are even more mobile than they were and people can and do reach out if they choose to.
Don't give up.
Everyone that chooses to, can look at this giant mish mash of humanity and ask themselves what they'd love to do. What have they not yet done that they still could?
What could they do to help these people?
It’s not over if you’re still breathing. Your chances are not over, you’re still here. While you’re still here, there are some things you can do.
Your ATtitude creates your ALTitude.
Where you are AT creates where you are going.
You can acknowledge tragedy, hell I know it slows us down, but if we let it stop us, it's US that are doing the letting.
Events that happened five minutes ago are already in the past, unless we are still talking about it. I'm not talking about shoving tragedy in a cupboard, but I am asking you to consider something.
One of the biggest things that causes us pain is our refusal to let go.
We often hug pain because we miss a person or situation because we're not sure what to do next - and because we worry that others will think badly of us if we appear unaffected.
And sometimes we go on, being affected for as long as we *think* we need to.
Remember the recommended mourning times they used to have? They're still a thing.
We don't really need a guideline time to mourn, each human body is unique. I know from my own experience grief is like a spirit that passes when the time is right for it to morph into an easier way to be.
In spite of losing people, things, or situations, we can still get back onto level ground. Sometimes it's a hell of an effort, but of course, I see miracles happen every day, so I know for the most part, we can. The act of grounding ourselves, or earthing, is really important and it stills us and brings us right back into our bodies when we've been out of them (in shock or trauma), or 'out of our heads'. We are made of cells of light and we're meant to be grounded and also to take ourselves lightly.
My grandfather once said to me, “I’ve lost someone I really cared about, but I am going to keep living and so I am not going to let that stop me from spending time with special people. I am going to make the most of the time I have left.” And he did.
Some of his friends, (or shall we call them acquaintances?) frowned a bit. So did his sister. They'd taken on the idea that you shouldn't act like that, just agreed to act their ages - he was the odd one out there - living.
My Poppa was Jolly in name and jolly in his nature. Sitting at home by himself didn't feed his soul. He had other ideas.
He had more of a life than I did at that time, he was super busy and a great role model.
So off he went. He drove for three weeks around the South Island. Came back to Pukekohe, as was his plan.
He realised he hadn't done enough travelling, changed his plan, and went to Cape Reinga.
It rained. That wasn't part of his new plan, so he shifted his new plan and went to the Coromandel instead.
What is it that you would love to do that you may have inadvertently written off?
Are you holding yourself back because of the disapproval of others?
Are you worrying about an imaginary age 'limit'?
Have you been mourning a situation for a while that is now morphed, and you're still there, but it's now time to move?
Is there any part of you that's given up, just because it had a fixed road map?
Is any idea you currently have, stopping you from living?
Light it up. Ground yourself, breathe. Plan it and give it some air. Do it. If it doesn't feel right when you get there, make another plan. Do that. Be flexible.
You're on a planet.
Plan comes from the Latin planum, meaning 'level ground' and et, means AND.
You're a plan-et-ary in-habit-ant. 😀
Get some level ground AND light it up, whatever it is for you. Put it out there and see what possibility can meet you with.
Who knows what miracle could come from such creation?
Have a wondrous day.
Awesome Sauce ONLINE Self Esteem Recovery Program starts on May 17th, want to
find out more? Join the info list here:http://eepurl.com/dk2GvH
Next post: Product - Elements of Greatness ONLINE 2 hour COURSE
Have you ever:
Wanted to do a vision board, collected the magazines and then looked at them for ages and finally put them away?
Or made one and it worked?
Or made one and nothing happened and it got chucked in the cupboard
Or made one, everything showed up, then you forgot to make a new one?
Me too. In fact, ME THREE. Three of those things happened to me at different stages. One felt quite disconnected, the others were great.
Then for a while I was contented, busy and just doing life, and then I came to a flat spot and realised I didn't have any 'live' goals or requests in with the Universe.
I had to change that and in the middle of all the wondering, a new process was born. Happy dance!
The things about vision boards is:
⭐You have to know what you want.
⭐You have to be ok to ask for it.
⭐You have to trust.
⭐You have to deal with glue, scissors, pictures and TIME (and sometimes other people who don't like the mess).
⭐They have to be the RIGHT pictures if you're anything like me it needs to be a pleasurable process and work of art.
Knowing what you want is all very well. But if you don't know how it can happen, your brain can interfere with the process and you can go about *trying* to make it work instead of letting it go.
If you don't know what you want and you stick everything on there and there's no room for the thing you REALLY want when you finally figure that out, then what? Stick it over the top?
There's a magic in the process that people sometimes miss. Instead of thinking about the *things* you want, the best *thing* to do is to:
⭐and say YES to the greatness that can be yours by Divine Right.
How do you know what that is?
You can only humanly imagine, the Divine has WAY MORE up it's sleeve for you than just the human stuff you are asking about. So you can inadvertently LOCK that out!
A lot of our life is spent actually blocking this subconsciously and the Universe won't give us what is ours if it knows we are going to say no to it because we can't receive or that we are scared of it in some way.
So what's the process?
It's ONLINE this Thursday night and next Thursday night and it's called Elements of Greatness.
💎It's about downloading your own elements.
💎It's about getting out of the way.
💎It's about letting the Universe deliver the elements it has lined up for you.
💎It's about coming online with the thing that fuels you.
💎It's about the magic ingredient that makes it all stick.
It's a very cool process that got me to action from sitting around dithering with way too much scattered energy.
For two whole hours you are going to be right in the flow of BIG MAGIC in a golden vortex of creation and there will not be a GLUE STICK in sight!! 👏
Elements of Greatness list http://eepurl.com/dnvSkH
Buy the course @ www.debx.co.nz/shop.html
#bigmagic #elements #greatness
LOVE to have you join me on this course, it changed the way I operate and opened up more grace and ACTION for me!!
Join the events newsletter here
Email me here
Previous post: Kinloch Self Love Retreat
Did you know your biggest blocks are the KEY to your biggest growth?
It doesn't matter who you are and what you're trying to achieve, if you can get up close and personal with your blocks and what they are trying to hide you from, you are going to AMP in your next phase of life.
In the next weekend retreat at Kinloch, May 19th and 20th, we work to...
- understand how blocks are trying to save us, and love them away with gratitude
- understand what readiness and need have to do with manifesting
- understand where motivation comes from for us personally (or where it runs away to) and shift that into higher gear
- dig up decayed beliefs about love and abundance, examine them and leave them in the past
- get honest with what we REALLY want and stop telling ourselves we can't have it
- cut ancestral blaming loose (our families can really subconsciously shape how we accept good or punish ourselves)
- let go of deep secret shame and feel 'clean' (this can be a private process or we can purge it by sharing if we wish)
- turn our inner critics into inner cheerleaders, self-love and stop leaking energy to heaviness and hopelessness
- learn what makes us feel cherished and how to say YES to more of that (bring that ON, right?)
- fearlessly love so we can be fully open to the joy of LOVE and SUCCESS in all levels of our lives.
WOOHOO!!! This weekend is full of magic, understanding, creativity, love and BIG SHIFTS.
I'm just taking 5 people for this retreat, so email me here if you want to hold your space.
Arrive Friday night for a dinner or snacks and nibbles depending on time.
Set your intentions connect and settle in.
$888pp takes care of all food, accomodation and materials for the event.
Bring a journal if you wish, comfortable clothes and a wrap and some comfy walking shoes for a gentle walk.
Contact me by email here for availability, I have just advertised this and immediately sold a spot.
Previous post here: The unlimited well of possibility
For events news, sign up here: http://bit.ly/1Cz9xCa
6 Hours of Crystal Wisdom
Learn how to use crystals for healing yourself and your family. Discover ways I've used them in my work, and learn how they can help you develop and support your empowerment, and for your magical growth. Get access to the Crystal Deliciousness Facebook group.
$99 for access to 5 hours of video teaching, a one hour podcast, notes on crystals and a quiz to test your knowledge too.
The unlimited well of possibility
residing in you,
awaits your attention.
It awaits your permission.
It yearns to be explored,
held up to the light
and to have more life
breathed into it.
On the days when you doubt yourself
it holds its breath
and prays you will remember
it awaits your attention.
It is the well you dig into
when all hope is lost and yet
somehow you survive - again.
It is a font of abundance
that helps you ride
through difficulty you
never though you would manage.
It is the 11th hour, divine timing -
we have many phrases
this divine reservoir
that keeps on giving.
When you are no longer
a stranger to it,
miracle working will be
a part of your every day
and miracle worrying
will be a thing of the past.
You are always loved.
And this IS an abundant universe.
You always have permission
even when you may believe you don't.
Sometimes others presume to remove
it from us, but they never truly can.
Will you give it
What do you need from
the Universe today?
Close your eyes,
take a breath
take that permission
and just ask.
Next post: Feel the swear and do it anyway
Feel the SWEAR and do it anyway.
In my biggest moments of moving forward, I was nearly always a bit terrified, as when you start anything, you are walking on a bridge to a possibility.
The bridge is literally appearing under your feet as you take each step.
You don't know what it looks like when you get there because you've never been there before.
You're creating a new world.
All you know is, you don't want to stay where you were because something indefinable is calling you forward, urging you on. You're carving a path.
It's different to doing something that's been mapped out for you, carving a path requires a relationship with courage. Carving a path requires a relationship with dislodgement and willingness. Carving a path requires a desire for more, and for adventure, and for standing in front of people who know you and saying 'I'm making a change to myself. I may become unrecognisable.'
Carving a path may mean you have to hack out some of the undergrowth you've been navigating (or avoiding dealing with) to make your own clear ground. Your friends or family may find it extremely difficult to let the old you die away.
You'll encounter resistance. You're not taking them with you, at least not at first, but some of them will carve their own paths, encouraged by the light that shines from your life and your journey and the miracles that stream forth as you come into sync with universal flow.
Your almost inexpressible bliss is the red carpet your flow comes singing in on.
The calling can be so gentle at first, it's easy to miss it, or to disregard it as a silly idea, or even as selfishness. But it's still there.
Quietly awaiting acknowledgment.
The truth is...
Most people who start are scared.
Most people who don't start are scared.
But the ones who've started, have at least started something, and you can bet anything that when they did, they were making up some of it as they went along. Just as people who forged paths always have, just as water finds it's way, you'll find yours if you keep listening to your heart.
In the moment before you jump, leap, or leave to pursue that dream, you'll say 'shit, shit, shit' to yourself. In the moment before you make that move, you'll suddenly find a willingness to chat to the Big Guy Upstairs whether you believe or not and say 'Oh God, Oh God, Oh God' and then that piece of bridge will settle under your foot and you'll need to lift your other one.
There will be days that you get evidence you're crazy. People will smugly tell you that you don't know what you're doing while you're building your dream. The 'world was flat' though, remember? And according to someone in 1812, scientists had invented everything it was possible to invent. And all you're asking for is to recognise your greatness is a live spirited thing (yes it is) and be paid for it. It's yours.
All you're doing is integrating something that has had a pulse inside you beating forever and giving it real life outside of your body.
All you're doing is remembering and valuing it.
Yes it's scary. Self-doubt is a real thing. But sometimes self-criticism masquerades as self-doubt, and you need to check and make sure you're cheering yourself on instead of raining on your own parade. Self-doubt can come along when you are SELFED-OUT and need to rest from your ideas and any pressure that you've placed on yourSelf. So rest when you need to. Ground and recharge in the earth.
Take measured steps.
Feel your way.
Dot your i's and cross your t's.
Nobody asked you to leap over a tall building in a single bound with your underpants on the outside.
Listen first. Breathe.
What's it worth to stay still? And what's the cost to stay still?
How wonderful could life be if you were being paid to be you?
Do you need to process something first? Do you need to heal? Do you need to let go? Are you using these things to prevent yourself from bringing love, light, and possibility into that jungle?
When will you give love a go? And when will you answer your heart, mine your magic and fly?
Shit, shit, shit, here you go.
Feel the swear and do it anyway. I did, and so can you.
Events newsletter signup --> http://bit.ly/1Cz9xCa
May 19th & 20th arrive Friday 18th
All accomodation, food and materials taken care of. Find out more here.
Next post: The secret to your destiny might be in your school reports
Popular: 15 tell tale signs you may be a healer
Who were you? Do you still have them?
And if you have children, what are their reports reporting?
Mine is loaded with kindness, language, speaking, storytelling (sometimes too much), art and... I was a bit crap at sports. Considering I speak and work healing people it's about spot on.
So for you, it would be really interesting to go take a look and a summary of what's there. Not from the teachers that didn't really know you, from the ones who 'got' you or from the snippets that resonate. If you're a bit lost around who you are and what you're doing - or wanting to do - go on a sleuthing mission, either in old reports, or daydream into what you loved to do. It's a big part of who you are.
School time (other peoples observation) + parent energy (which you often emulate or reject) + plus background/childhood + great challenges or unwellness that you overcame (tenacity builders) + determination - these all shape us and add up to who we are.
Sometimes we have an unanswered calling inside us, and we've just stopped looking at what we want because life has side tracked us. Sometimes we are in the flow of a life journey to help others get going before we can come back to ourselves and ask what it is that we are here for, and that's all cool.
Sometimes we've followed all the processes we were told to follow and then... it still hasn't worked out the way we thought it 'should'.
So if you're wondering... go take a look. See what comes up and then, figure out what you can do with it. Remember, the language to describe your work or mission/purpose, may not have been around when you were young, so be ok to be creative with what you have. And if you were 'not paying attention' or 'the class clown' that's NOT a bad thing. Entertainers are often the class clown, kids are often not paying attention because there isn't enough going on that's fast enough - or actually fascinating enough.
So have you got a burning desire that has been unfulfilled since you were small?
Have you tucked it away thinking you could never do it?
Were you told 'people like us don't do things like that?
Take another look - now may be the time.
Want help? Email me here. If you have a funny school report comment, share below, and if you're still hanging on to anything that made you feel rotten as a result of school - let's clear that.
whose 'vocabulary is in no way limited'. Hehe. x
Next post: Holy Rowley's Sweary Miracle Tour here
We've been jokingly referred to as the Holy Rowley's multiple times.
We swear, we laugh, we have a lot of fun and there's always lots of love in our work. We LOVE to make people feel better and have a good time.
So here's an ONLINE EVENT - for just $12.73
So it's time to do something with that, something that can make a whole LOAD of people feel amazing. I've done several shows, healing torn shoulders, sore knees, bad backs, broken ankles and more, and it's time to get going again. James is a healer, and a medium, and also, a great story teller, so he's in it too.
Or read all the results below and sign up at the bottom of this blog post...
In fact, here's a bit of a list:
it's even good for growing healthy plants!
So what is possible for you? Are you sceptic? This is only $12.73 for the first one, so there's very little risk for what could be a huge gain. Previously, I was a sceptic who regularly took Panadol and other painkillers for a chronic sore back. I had phantom pains, a broken heart, felt depressed and had low self esteem. I recovered from a prolonged series of traumatic life events that brought both extreme pain and around 30 years of fear.
I still am partly sceptic (which I think is healthy) and that's why I love to see and hear results.
Every day, people are helped by this work.
It works over the phone, via Skype, messenger, zoom - anywhere in the world.
Some people are helped in ways they never dreamed possible.
So, want to join us?
Sign up here for the online session and let's see if we can get your pain to melt.
It's just $12.73 NZ for the first one.
*We'll set the date when we have enough people signed up.
James and Deb Rowley
UNCONSCIOUS MAGIC: Some of the most amazing things come out of the most unexpected places.
I started my global healing business in my garage over ten years ago. I made it from a dream on my vision board, and when I was finished it had silk curtains, French doors, a courtyard and a beautiful vibe.
It was a delicious, magical haven, created from multiple synchronicities, full of gorgeous things and experiences for gorgeous people.
At that time, it was the future vision combined with the spirit of my 'now' business that egged me on. I had the sketchiest roadmap and massive trust in the bigger picture.
(Before I started it was full of old tat that I sold on Trade Me.)
I took my handbag to work every morning, went home (a little over 3 metres) for lunch and worked till late.
Now and then, in between clients, I meditated in the hammock. 😆
On the end ceiling was a gold script that a signwriting friend made which said 'Follow your bliss and the Universe will open its doors for you where there were only walls.'
The Universe loves clear messages. ❤️
The Deb that dreamed the dream and stepped on into it, is one of the elements of me that I am SO grateful for.
There were days when she didn't know how the hell it was all supposed to come together, but like the Field of Dreams movie - she built it, and they came on in. Sometimes slower than I wanted them to, but I was pulled along by the spirit of something much bigger and so through the times when others thought I was crazy, I kept listening and kept going.
Your human dream is much smaller than divine possibility and that's why it's so important to listen to your heart, surrender, take action and allow your miracles to unfold.
Several incarnations later, here we are in Kinloch practically living on a golf course. Who knew when I bought clubs years ago and hardly used them, that I'd be living right by the Golf course? Who knew, when I created a jewellery workshop and bought all those tools that one day James Rowley would be creating glorious jewels with them? I used them, packed them up and they just sat there. Waiting.
And while I'm SO freaking grateful to the beautiful flow of clients who helped and all the people who came along and offered their kindness along the way.... this is about YOU!
I keep meeting fabulous women (and men) who don't realise how magical they are. They wish they were. It all sounds exciting and one day they might be and they're trying so hard. Some of them are walking around holding life up and it's all SO hard because they're not using their magic consciously so they are literally carrying the world, when they could just. put. it. down. Some of them are really young, thank goodness they're learning now - lots are 42, 43, 44 when I ask them how old they are, and many are just discovering a little delicious hint of their magic at a much more ripe age. :)
Just like them, I didn't know I was magical. Even though lots of magical things were happening to me, I was literally the last person who found out. I thought everyone's head worked the same way mine did, and I had no idea that energy healing was real. I didn't believe in any of that stuff. I chugged painkillers for my sore back from carrying literally everything. I came last. Take that as you will.
These days of course - I teach people how their magic amplifies their enjoyment of life and all of their results.
We've all got some kind of dream inside us, and you can bet your ass the dream, when allowed to breathe, has the ability to provide you with an endless stream of miracles.
You're already transforming, or you wouldn't be reading this. Don't wait for a good time to start, or for the approval of others who can't see your vision, listen loudly to your spirit, divine and follow the inbuilt design of your version of deliciousness, dream your dream, build your vision - let it speak to you and pull you along.
It's time to step in, feel and listen and let the picture almost draw itself.
How long will it take you to know love does not contract?
Love is expansive. Love flowers. Love remains open in the face of anything life throws at it, because its nature is in alignment with moving forward, with truth and with growth.
Love encourages and replicates itself, love is a bottomless well of wonder that continues to give and give and explore and find a way through.
Love is the truth you've been looking for, it can find a way through anything, even the seemingly impossible moment.
Love knows you do not need to scream and cry and bleed on the floor to grow in your body, mind, and spirit. Love does not shoot people down in flames to force them through some kind of idealistic, unrealistic birth canal. Great love sometimes steps away for a time, holding space and inviting you to catch up with the truth of it. You'll be back to it when you are ready and notice you have strayed away.
Love is a heat-seeking missile of freedom and sometimes, you will be made uncomfortable by love as it tries to spring you free from a situation that isn't right for you.
If you dive into what you are really feeling, you'll know there is a great deal of difference between having an opinion and a choice and being given your opinion and no choice. Love always gives a choice.
The idea of love can be terrifying because it can seem unreachable, but the truth is, we are made of love, it liberates us in ways we can't even imagine. It's our liberation we sometimes find terrifying and that's why we are afraid to reach - we are terrified in case it's not there.
It's always there. It's the energy that grows trees and grass and flowers without pushing and forcing. It invites you to check and see if you are fully standing in your own love space.
Do you have the power to move with it? Or have you put it down for a moment?
Do you currently truly have the freedom to choose for yourself or are you working someone else's story or agenda?
Do you currently have your own opinion and choice or are you being given them?
Are you free?
Love is freedom.
Love is no ownership, only being the captain of your OWN ship. Love is not painful, the stories we put around it, the shadow we bring to it is.
Your task is simply to uncover where love is not and shift enough to allow its radiance to shine in.
It's easy, despite everything you may have been told.
Energy expert, Deb is also a spiritual teacher, healer, writer and artist.