Do not complain about your life until you investigate the ideas you have. Make sure your ideas serve your wellness - if they do not - THROW THEM OUT. Get new ideas or leave room for the birth of inspiration. Bitterness will never make you better, or better than anyone else. Avoid toxic conversations and situations. Understand that when two people are angry and you don't like it - you are the one who needs to do something about it. More anger feeds the war, put your weapons down. And leave the battleground. The idea that someone has wronged you is sort of spiritually flawed because every step of your journey has been your teacher, if you did not learn from it - it's guaranteed you have another lesson coming. Learn fast - requiring the same lesson over and over is not bad luck. Know that if 'love' requires selling yourSelf short - it's not love - and do something about it. Be a friend to yourSelf. If you have no friends and you don't like yourSelf either - you know where to start. Embrace every day as a delivery vessel for new possibilities. Recognise and honour your values and your virtues. Dream a dream and take some steps towards it. Be just a little braver than you think you can be. Feed your inner child as often as possible. Light a candle for yourSelf every day. (or when you remember) Find something to be thankful for. Do something for somebody else. Make praise one of your hobbies. Speak your truth. If you love someone - tell them - a moment of such courage could change your life forever. If someone doesn't love you - move on. The person who will love you is waiting. Taking the ghost of your old partner into your new relationship is one of those ideas you need to examine. Remember you have a purpose on this planet. Know that miracles already surround you. See the beauty in small things. Heal yourSelf in nature. At least go for a walk, hug a tree, swim in the sea or lay on the grass. Laugh uproariously. Share your stories of hope and love. Inspire. Act on your hunches. Smell the roses. Paint with your hands. Meditate and rest when you need to. (you need to often) Love wildly, passionately, deeply, gently, loyally and often. Give your smiles away. Surrender everything you can do nothing about. And surrender all your pain and all your (perceived) unhealed relationships. Find out who you are. Do that NOW. Your joyfulness heals the planet. If you don't know how to start finding your joy - observe puppies and small children playing with water. Get over yourSelf. Give with grace. Receive with grace. Be pleased to know the end of the world is not today. You have both less time and more time than you think. So hurry up and... slow down. Eat honey. If 2000 year old honey is still edible and if 'you are what you eat' is really true, then honey IS the bees knees. You are each and every one of you a gift filled with gifts. Treasuring yourSelf will help you to honour your gifts. Drink more water. (The 42 Commandments are now available as a pack of cards @ just $42 NZD a pack plus postage. To order yours, click the picture or the red link below to go to the webstore.) I'm wishing YOU a miraculous day!
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Here is a little dabble with 'what we put up with' from negative people. If people don't like you or if you have a consistent experience that feels sharp, pointy or draining with a friend - I give you permission – in case you are not - o relieve yourSelf temporarily of your good manners (just put them to one side) and take a good hard look at a couple of things: A. Why your 'friend' (and we could insert family member or partner here too)
feels the need to download on you or bring you down. B. Why you are allowing it to happen. Because here is what I have learned... Someone once labelled me a 'people pleaser' and I felt it was a very negative judgement. I worried about what was wrong with me and after I investigated myself, I realised the lady who called me that, was a negative person and was challenged by the fact that I liked people and people liked me. She was a grumpy lady. Not to everyone. To me. All I was doing was making her a cup of tea - I wasn't deliberately trying to 'please' her. And nothing I did was going to please her - she wasn't WIRED for it. Ejecting her from my field eased life immensely. I continued to do nice things for people - I am here to share kindness - and eventually realised that she had given me a gift. My boundaries weren't strong enough and I was an over-giver. Giving to a person whose hobbies include ungrateful fault finding is not necessarily helping them or you. I had the right to be who I was and she had the right to be who she was. If she wanted to be different or happy, that was her responsibility - not mine. If she could label me - I would not label her, but I could certainly define her role in my life. Name calling isn’t nice, but definition gives you a platform to work from. It was a relief for me to let her own her own grouchiness. And I could step back from it. Maybe she might learn from it too, maybe not, but - and this is crucial here - her learning was not my responsibility or any of my business. Neither was helping her and so stepping back without being unpleasant, was best for me. In ejecting her from my field I had exercised my right to be selective over the good manners I had, good manners which were causing me to believe that I should stick around while she was being awful. These were simply my programming and beliefs disempowering me. Once I stood up and internally said “Hey Honey – that’s not my stuff” I discovered my internal compass worked better. Another gift. The unpleasantness ceased to flow over me. See how this works? And now, I can say thank you for her gift. It helped me discover a stronger part of me. Are you doing your ‘duty’ sticking around with a consistently negative person, and blaming yourself, when you could just let them own it, deal with it – (or not) and be free to be yourself? Or are you raining on someone else’s parade because of your own pain? Can you stop and investigate what your real issue is? There might be a good opportunity for growth in it. Are you no longer a match for the friends around you? People do leave your life. Sometimes letting go or stepping back necessary, but painful, - it doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it just means it’s time for you to broaden horizons and have different experiences. Don’t cling, there is always a gift in letting go - it opens your arms to receive more. And as you know when one door closes another door opens and it's true what they say "what other people think of me is none of my business." If you are having trouble letting go or wanting to grow stronger boundaries in a painful space - I work with that. Email me for more info via the button below. Deb x Deepak Chopra is amazing - listening to him just inspires me to write and write. A lecture he gave in Tagore yielded these notes: Just 20% of people in the world are in jobs they love. If people are ignored by the boss at work - their rate of disengagement is at 40%. If the boss criticises them, the rate drops to 20% - meaning they respond better to criticism than being ignored. If they are praised it goes right down to 1%. The source of these figures is a Gallup World Poll. (Deepak is one of the Gallup scientists) What's true for work is true for all of life, and I started thinking about how this would affect love relationships. And remembered one of the last times I watched Oprah (about 15 yrs ago) I saw Dr Phil on her Show. He had a couple with him and the man was complaining about his wife and their bad relationship. They were very open to receiving help - the husband said his wife had 'let herself go and was fat and unattractive and they weren't having sex.' She said she felt like 'he didn't care about her, she was just the machine that ran the house' and she didn't feel attractive so sex wasn't really on her list, she was too stressed out. Dr Phil asked her when her husband last told her she was beautiful. She couldn't remember. So he gave them homework. Daily - even though the husband didn't feel that way and she would think it was rubbish, her husband was to look into her eyes and tell her she was beautiful - for a month and then come back to the Show. That was it - and off they went. When they came back he was holding her hand and the light was shining out of her. He couldn't stop smiling. She looked radiant, amazing and lighter. It was pretty obvious they had done their homework. They said the first few days felt like lies and they weren't engaged with it. Slowly but surely they both secretly realised they were looking forward to it. Then one day (on about day 24) they just cried and held each other. They had found their way home. She had lost real weight too – her emotional wall had come down and her heaviness had lifted. And of course they couldn’t get enough of each other! Did you notice my use of the word engaged? Magic is there for us in the moment we engage with it. When people fall in love and get married – engagement is more than a time for a ring - it's a description of how they are with each other. When they get married, some people disengage. But some don't. What's their secret? Sometimes everyday life existence we have piles heaviness on top of our engagement and breaks it. The Grind, feeling like you are on the treadmill, stress and pressure all put life into the adrenal fight or flight response mode and life needs to be shifted back out of that. That's what Relationship healing is for. Relationship healing moves the rubble so you can see who is under there. It re-engages and re-ignites people, love and grace. We all do the basics, and under stress, even the basics can suffer. But the basics aren't necessarily the bits that help our spirits soar. The basics don't always give us strength to go the extra mile, so the relationship clearing makes fresh ground for that. It's like cleaning the windows, dusting and vacuuming is to your home. We all wash houses, cars, bodies and clothes, but there hasn't been an energetic way to just lift the stress up and clear it out of relationships till now. And sometimes people need clearing in order to move on, to admit that they have
tried everything, to be ok with making an ending where they need to. A relationship healing also does that. It puts people in the right place according to what is in their best benefit. You might not have realised, but you really can choose. It's up to you. Deb x When you realise you are so much more powerful than you could possibly imagine -
and that this whole journey is so much simpler with a genuine dose of grace, you will stop fighting, drop your resistance that causes you sooo much pain, and be. You wish to believe it's hard? I'm not here to argue with you, so I am simply going to say - as you wish. You wish to believe you can't have peace? As you wish. You wish to believe you can't have healing? As you wish. Or do you wish to believe it's easy? As you wish. It's true, it's mind over matter - Sceptics will claim that when you demonstrate energy to them. And they are right. Energy and spirituality are both a form of science. Mind science. Don't believe in magic? As you wish. Maybe this is more palatable to you and a bit less airy fairy..... I'll change my reaction to 'as you choose.' It's really the same thing. This life for you could be fantastic and magical, should you choose to make it so. It took me years to work out mine could, years of very real pain and trauma - and so I am not belittling anyone's journey - but I had a mind set that could have been more helpful and maybe empowered me to find a way out where all I could see were walls. The power of positive thinking is well known, the power of mind over matter also well known and documented. Power really comes from words and ideas. We use them first before we do anything and words are just lined up letters that we call 'spelling' aren't they? So that's why I use the word 'wish' when I describe choosing. In reality our words, thoughts and intentions are a mild form of magic - and one of the most exciting words we used in childhood was 'Abracadabra.' I LOVED magic as a child, I experienced it through Walt Disney and through Mary Poppins and many writers. A great deal of the world is once again in love with magic through the writing of JK Rowling and her Harry Potter series of books. But did you know Abracadabra is actually from an old Aramaic phrase 'Abraq Ad Habra' and Abraq Ad Habra's totally appropriate English translation is 'I create as I speak.' And so an ancient phrase comes to be in our everyday language - telling us that we are in charge, we have choice, we have power. I teach power words to people. And the words we use that disable too. It's important to know both and use them wisely to enhance our life exper. What are you using yours for? Deb X Our attitude defines us.
It swirls around everything we look at and is a part of our view of life. If we believe everyone is out to get us, we are not going to be wearing the eyes to see the daily magic that's present everywhere. If we believe that we live on the most amazing, miraculous planet and have amazing opportunities open to us - life shows us more. It's very simple. And there are all sorts of ways that we empower or disempower ourselves, depending on our mind sets. Many of us have seen the simple experiment - someone has an outstretched arm and says 'I am strong, I am strong' - and another person tries to press that arm down to the floor. They encounter quite strong resistance. When the person with their arm outstretched says 'I am weak, I am weak', they have almost no resistance to the person who pushes their arm easily to the floor. Haven't seen it? Try it. Try it on a friend without telling them what you are doing so you both have an element of surprise. And then have a little think/brew/meditate on where you might be telling yourself you can't do something in your life. Chances are you are right, because you are disempowering you. Now if someone else talked to you that way - wouldn't you argue with them? So what can you tell yourself that you CAN do, something that you wish to turn around and have a positive effect with? You have to keep at this, but things become simpler the more often you do it. You are breaking a habit and that takes a little persistence - or does it? Perhaps you could tell yourself it doesn't and commit to an instant radical positive lifestyle change. It's up to you. If you would like a Reframing session - examining old thoughts and beliefs that you are ready to release, we can do that in one session. Text me for a booking on 021 726 276 or email me through the button below. Deb X Recently the Readers Digest ran an article called 'The Healing Power of Nothing', and in it discussed placebo medication. Featured were the findings of Dr Fabrizio Benedetti of Turin University, in his trial of anti anxiety drugs. In his trial he had one group receiving the real medication and another not receiving the medication, but instead receiving a placebo. Which group flourished? The one receiving the placebo. Why? That group was also receiving a very attentive service from their Doctors. The other group (with the real medication) was just being delivered their pills and left to it. How necessary are drugs if we can help or heal ourselves with the Power of Placebo? And what does that say about the power of human caring? (in my book that is energy medicine) And it wasn't necessarily even real caring - it was manufactured for a survey. (Of course, there could have been some very caring individuals administering the placebos.) Dr Benedetti says "The real placebo response, the real placebo effect is a psychobiological phenomenon." That's mind/body right? That's much better than just treating the body as a mechanical functioning system. And when the caring is added - that takes it through to the emotional body. Don't underestimate the psychological benefit of anything. A benefit is a benefit, whatever it springs from. (And perhaps don't underestimate the reverse.) The 'no therapeutic effects' quote in the picture at the top of my page is not very accurate. It's sourced via Wiki, and might be a prevailing belief - however slowly but surely, it's being eroded, challenged and shifted. There are many definitions of placebo - the American Heritage Medical Dictionary says it's 'a substance containing no medication and prescribed or given to reinforce a patient's expectation to get well.' Mosby's Medical Dictionary says similar, but also says placebos 'are also prescribed for patients who cannot be given the medication they request or who, in the judgment of the health care provider, do not need that medication.' (which I find a little like playing God.) I don't know about you, but as I am an ex sceptic - more recent to mind medicine and holistic work - I've experienced the miraculous healing effects a Doctors waiting room has on small children. It's most definitely psychobiological. After an often endless wait - I've been embarrassed to say 'my child is sick'. And the Doctor says "don't worry - it happens all the time. And gives antibiotics or a vague wave and says 'it's a virus - there is not much we can do.' I would always go home and think 'argh - I don't really want to give antibiotics to my child and often just spent some time loving my child back to wellness instead. I had many bottles of unopened antibiotics. They became a very last resort while I didn't know I had an option. There are countless documented stories of spontaneous healing in the face of
near death. Countless stories of miraculous healings at the hands of patients themselves, carers or healers. I can tell you many stories of my own clients who walked in here believing their pain was in charge of them, and then walked out free of it - without a pill crossing their lips. Yesterday I worked on a client who has had a headache for 5 days - she said it 'was so bad, it was affecting her vision'. It's gone. After a distance healing that took approximately 5 minutes. And she has had her AHA moment to go with it. I am not saying that all medication is bad or Doctors are unnecessary - but the placebo effect is now well known and well documented - pills take time to process, have hidden side effects and generally also cost money. Chronic pain can often be relieved and released altogether - old pain can be erased with energy medicine and mind power. Injuries and illness can be released too. Life can be easier with energy medicine - which is created by knowledge and thought. It's a tool you can use for yourself and teach your children too, to enable and empower them. Pain is not what we - subject to mainstream advertising that fosters dependency, powerlessness and an interest in repeatedly lightening your wallet - previously were led to believe. You are in charge. And you DO have options. So I ask you this... Will you take another pill to numb the pain before you find out more? Deb X 021 726 276 *Dr Benedetti's quote sourced from - http://brainsciencepodcast.com/bsp/neurobiology-of-placebos-with-fabrizio-benedetti-bsp-77.html#sthash.oaHnFf4r.dpuf Florence Scovel Shinn passed away in 1940, but before she did, she wrote some of the most transformational books. Her books formed a strong base for today's life coaching. Her writing was recommended to me and so I bought 'The Wisdom of Florence.' It was explained to me that she was very 'Gody' in her writing - there were a lot of biblical references, but that they were a solid practice and contained manifestation principles for abundance, health and more. I read it, and loved it. And took it to Australia when I travelled with my friend Mollie a couple of years ago. We were shopping in Melbourne. It's fair to say we helped out the Melbourne economy and they would probably love to have us back. During an 'attack of the shopping guilts' on the fourth (and last day) we were there, I decided to meditate to 'ease my troubled mind.' It was morning, and as our body clocks were on kiwi time, we had an extra couple of hours to fill before the shops opened. I decided to bathe in the energy of Florence's book, and put it on my chest while I meditated. My 'bridge over troubled water' showed up and I had a vision of a very radiant Christ, holding his arms out wide, who said to me "Adorn Yourself." Startled because that was not my usual thing at all, I turned to Mollie and told her what had just happened and she immediately said "There you go - Jesus Christ says you should keep shopping!" All I could think of was going back to jewellery shop that I had bought a couple of things in, there was a cross that I loved there. We arrived and I went to the cabinet. It was still there and as I looked at it, the owner came to my side. I told him I might buy it and gift it to someone, as I couldn't stop thinking about it. He looked at me a bit funny and said "No, it's yours, it's for you." I told him I had already been shopping and bought all sorts of things, so couldn't buy it for myself. He said "No - it's yours, I'm giving it to you." I stood there for a minute, not comprehending that he would do such a thing, but sure enough, he meant it. It was AUD$80. A heck of a gift from a stranger, but he insisted. I came away from his shop shaking my head, wearing it, and it has been a constant source of support for my work ever since. Later I realised that a woman had come into my shop about a year prior to our trip, and had drawn a picture of it for me, saying that when I got bogged down with life and forgot who I was, I was to remember that I was the cross that was 'shaped like this.' (Sometimes I have met spiritual people and wondered where on earth they got their ideas from, and although her words were kind, they were a bit weird, so I had disregarded them) It was an amazing experience that continued to unfold though, as I used it in a healing - my friend was in hospital and when I showed it to her, she asked me if I got it in a little alley in Melbourne, in a little shop, and described the shop exactly. I confirmed that I did, very surprised, and she said she was there two weeks earlier with her son, who wanted to buy it for her, but that she had told him it wasn't for her - someone else would come along soon and get it. She had lent me a book by Kathleen McGowan about Christ and Mary Magdalene and in it there was a story of a lady who was gifted a very antique ring that symbolised Mary in a shop. I read it just before I went to Melbourne. Still shaking my head about the whole thing, it felt like a weird dream, and to be honest, with the work I do every day, creating, or being a part of miracles for people, it's pretty much on going. We all have the capacity to create miracles and now and then, when I forget that what I do makes a difference, I try to remember that the gift of that ability is a miracle in itself. Sarah MacLachlan sings 'it's not that unusual, when everything is beautiful - it's just another ordinary miracle today.' I know my kind of ordinary sounds extraordinary to others, but it's only the surface. If the seemingly impossible is possible - and I constantly see that it is... What else is actually possible? To look at life with awesome wonder is the least I can do. Deb X
Do you wish you could start all over again sometimes?
And if you could - what would you do differently? When energy is cleared around anything, life situations, or people - there is a fresh feeling space and possibility is renewed or re-opened. Feeling fresh and new energetically is a lot like the feeling of freshness you get from a shower. It just goes further in. Wellness is an option. There is no place that you have gone to in your life that you cannot get back from or move on from. All of life is energy and the reason why we don't all learn how to use energy at school is because it's too powerful. The mastery has been lost or hidden for years. But certain leaders through history have used it well. You can too. If you are resonating with this, forget wellness for a bit - contact me about a re-start. Let's get you online with the big picture of your life. Deb X I had recently shared a part of my personal story with a client as it was appropriate for learning (and an AHA moment) in the course of a session.
Little did I know it had inspired her. Off she went and she arrived a few days later at my house with flowers for me. Her life has shifted and she brought them to thank me and also to honour and acknowledge my growth through my story. But they also held an unexpected surprise for her. Before she gave them to me she just had to tell me all about how she came to be holding this particular bunch. And she was just buzzing and so excited. So... She was standing in the flower shop umming and ahhhing, looking at everything and was considering the colour of the pink roses. I work with pink roses for perfect grace, they are deeply healing, and she knew this, but she wanted to be sure she was getting the right pink. As she was scanning the rest of the flowers, a lady came up beside her and took the last two bunches of pink roses out of the bucket and went to the counter with them. My client said "OOOOHHHHH NOOOOO!!" inside her head, "THEY'RE DEB'S! YOU DON'T WANT THEM!" as the lady handed them over and went to pay for them at the counter. My client prayed hard, and then watched stunned as the lady said "Stop!" and took the flowers back off the counter, turned around, put them back in the bucket and bought something else. You can imagine how quickly she picked them up! So not only did she do something a little special for me, which she felt lovely about - she also put out a powerful vibe that was heard and immediately answered - a great way to see how you can create your own miracle - especially when it's a miracle with love in it for someone else. Her beaming smile heralded their arrival at my house, and they are in a vase in my room. They are utterly magical and I absolutely love them. It's an amazing world we live in isn't it? Deb X |