Do you sometimes wish you could give someone a good old shake and say
"I understand you are freaking out, but please just shut up for a minute and listen to me?"
This morning I have witnessed a big bleargh in the Facebook newsfeed, with someone directly insulting an ex. It's all good be honest about how you feel. And believe me, I do know sh*t happens. Been on both ends of that. But threats and insults are SUPER unattractive and a bit of a hint that some help with seeing how energy works could be useful.
When someone treats someone else 'badly' there is a lesson. Lessons bring gifts and growth and they might feel painful but they are GOOD.
Get the lesson fast. Breathe, ground. Remember life is not always simple. There are bumps, curves and the odd pothole in the road. Be less affronted and front up more. Say "Yes Life, you slippery little number, I see you are testing me again - well I AM STRONG, so I'm sucking it up and moving FORWARD and GROWING." And even love it a little.
Penalising yourself and others for perceived 'mistakes' when in fact, you are just learning and growing, can lead to bitching about the treatment you got.
And if you do that - it means you haven't understood the lesson. Sometimes that means you'll get it again.
That's entirely up to the individual. You get bitter or better (with wisdom, kindness and gentleness) and YOU are the timekeeper on that. Breathe life into your drama OR breathe life into your life's greatest work.
Sympathising with the 'bitcher' helps them remain in a place of bitterness and confusion and it also offers them a great big chunk of your lovely energy to munch on. That energy often goes straight out of your gut. You might feel tired, panicky, hungry, like a gap needs to be filled or like something is missing.
Not everyone has a lot of extra energy to dish out, and empathic (feel a lot, give a lot) people can get caught up in the dramas of others quite easily.
If you're paying attention you'll notice some people will continually create the drama in order to keep getting the energy. Sometimes they are completely unaware they do this.
Commenters/judgers jumping on the bandwagon and wishing someone who has wronged others unwell can end up with a similar lesson. I know that we want to protect, it can be so irresistible and you just feel like wrapping your friend up in your arms and chasing away the baddies, but there are positive ways. Gossip energy is very detrimental to your field too.
Offering a view from a distance, so they can step back and see the big picture is very valuable. If you are giving a load of your energy away, to friend or family try empowering rather than endowing. This helps them step up.
There is a difference and the difference is that empowering another, also empowers you. You may not be popular for a short period of time, but the phrase 'what did you learn from this?' is a good place to start.
Picking out the parts that were good and blessing them, saying thank you for those little treasures, and then allowing the rest to flow away - is priceless.
What's crapola? Here is my de(b)finition:
casual or unconstrained conversation, drama or reports about other people, typically involving details which are one individuals side of the story, when there are in fact, two hurt parties to take into account. *Nobody is the bad guy, but everyone is pointing the finger.
Synonyms: muck raking, tittle-tattle, tattle, rumour(s), whispers, stories, tales, titbits, gossip and even possibly bollocks.
The only way is up baby.
May your day be informative, fabulous, filled with radical gorgeousness and a dash of something sparkly, scribbly and wondrous.
Life Whisperer, Coach, Ladybug Lover, Constant Evolver
ps. Sometimes I'd love to comment on people's drama on their page, but of course you know it's never going to be well received, and it's just me feeding them my experience for free. Better to create something with it and offer it so you can find it useful. So it's me turning a reaction into a positive gift for you. If it helped you - please SHARE it with my blessing. <3
021 726 276
Thank you so much for reading my post.
Wisdom is for sharing, please share if you feel guided.
I really appreciate referrals.
I do clinic sessions, run events, workshops and webinars healing and guiding, in New Zealand and worldwide via Skype, Phone, Email & for One on One clients from my clinic space on Auckland's North Shore.
You can find me on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Tumblr.
You are welcome to print and share my work, as long as it is attributed to me.
© Deb Rowley 2014