Years of conditioning can shut us down to who we are. And sometimes we don't realise it has happened.
"Shut up." "You're only a child, what do you know anyway?" "We are listening to important people, be quiet." "Shhh, I'm on the phone." "I'm the man of the house and what I say goes." "Do this, do that (nag, nag nag)." "You don't know what you're talking about."
"He's an idiot, he doesn't know what he's talking about."
"She always rabbits on about crap."
There are a multitude of ways we are told that what we say does not matter. Our voices have traditionally been shut down by a society that always fed 'children should be seen and not heard' a very hearty meal.
These days we are starting to watch the ideas of children with wonderment. Thank God for technology. A 15 year old has invented a test for pancreatic cancer that cost just cents to make and takes moments to do. Jack Andraka's invention is here.
A girl has invented a way to make plastics out of banana peel - Elif Bilgin was awarded $50,000 for the ongoing development of her invention.
I'm so thrilled to be able to see these amazing inventions via the web. However, what I see most often are people (in my day job), who are unexpressed and just needing a wee bit of self validation in order to come fully into themselves.
As we come through childhood and into teens, we are forming the way we stand on the planet, and that 'children should be seen and not heard' conditioning, can really stick. We must perform 'the right way' for people to approve of us, and while that's ok for many people, some gentler souls are really knocked off their perches by it.
Sometimes as a result of this, people don't know who they are because they have been pressured to be someone that fits a 'suitable' or perhaps even 'correct' mould. And this can put us into a space of overwhelm that we don't necessarily come back out of. But there IS a way out.
You know I am speaking from my own experience here. It took me a very long time to find my voice. And starting a blog was a major step towards it. I write this post for you with the conviction that some of you will read it and think "AHA! that's why I find it so hard to say how I feel!" and I only have that conviction because I started to share my opinions.
I initially thought it was stupid, but I had to practise writing somewhere, I felt dumb doing it, I thought that my writing would be read by nobody - and people started reading it. Actually thousands have.
If I didn't start, so many people who needed help would still be walking around feeling sore and foggy. And many of them would still be heart broken, or insomniacs.
I've learned a few thing, and one is, if I quote other people too often, I am giving my voice/opinion away. So I seldom quote other people, it can be a fall back approach to saying 'what is inside me can stay there'. When you are busy with what everyone else says, maybe you lose what you say, modify or even shut down what you think or feel. Experts, might become experts by studying other experts, but someone had to have original thought somewhere in order to even start heading toward expert status. A pioneer/expert is the person with the balls who said 'I think this.' And then went ahead, validated and built on it. If that expert doesn't ever give life to that original thought - the planet misses out.
Sometimes OUR original thought goes unheard in our rush to conform and listen to the opinions of others. Don't think you've got one? Like I said, neither did I. Sometimes we bottle it, and that's not healthy for us - we are channels, meant to enjoy things that pass through, not hold them stuffed down and stifled. When we always lean outward to learn from others, or wish we had what they had, as a result of being conditioned that our opinion or voice doesn't matter, we miss our greatest teacher of all - our own spirit.
Each of us does have really amazing gifts. And right now, if you are saying "not me" THIS is exactly why I am writing this post.
In order to listen to our own spirit, all we have to do is trust, arrive/be present and say yes. We may feel there are layers of sh*t built up over the amazingness locked within us. Perhaps it seems thick, but it's not and you have a big old kick ass spiritual digger if you need one, to pull those layers off. There is a spiritual quote somewhere which goes 'in order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself'.
And it's often true - sometimes we have to get to a point where we have been pushed just enough to YELL out and say I AM WORTH IT!!!
Because until we get to that place, we are not ready to swap the ordinary for something extraordinary. That comfort zone can be a 'good enough' trap sometimes.
You can uncover your voice by yourself. You are already here, and you have everything you need. The thing is - sometimes you don't believe that. You just might need to say 'no' sometimes when you are saying 'yes' to please a crowd or someone else. You can express your opinion and when others disagree or over run it - you can repeat yourself, or tell yourself it's ok to be different. You can sit still for a moment, instead of reaching out for connection with others, say 'where am I?' and connect with yourself. Locate yourself, rest, place your hands on your heart and send yourself love.
You're worth it.
If my post is resonating with you and you feel like you would like to release some past hurts in order to help the process to uncover (and trust) your voice, I have private sessions to help release the 'compression/repression/suppression' that has been placed upon (or absorbed by) you/it.
AND obviously, because you've seen the picture at the top of this post, I have a workshop coming up - it's a Sacred Circle time for sharing, releasing and coming to a place of peace. If you've been to a circle before and been a bit scared off - this one doesn't involve screaming, ranting, ripping your guts out and bleeding all over the floor. There are no points for sobbing the loudest. If you cry, you cry, (quietly or loudly) and that's ok. Sometimes I do in circle (often actually).
This is a gentle release space and connection with Your Divine Spark - you connect - you can always connect any time you want to this energy, it's yours - restorative beautiful soul energy. Everyone has time to speak uninterrupted and everyone keeps any sharing that has taken place, private to the group. There are specific circle parameters to ensure you are safely supported to come to a place of peace and balance.
To find out more and to secure your spot, please text me on 021 726 276 and I will call you back.
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Energy expert, Deb is also a spiritual teacher, healer, writer and artist.