LOSS AND CHRISTMAS: Here it comes again and it can be a fraught time for those of you who have lost someone, so to my friends who are dealing with loss and grief, I wish you all an extra dose of love and peace, and want to say something to your hearts...
Your loved ones smile down on you.
They’re around you and as close as your thoughts. Please know you can speak to them and they can hear you. They know you love them, they do know you miss them. We can even learn to feel their presence. Some of you, I'm sure, already do.
They want you to do nice things for yourselves, to love and nurture yourselves and to see and delight in the tiny miracles that surround you daily.
They are richer for having been in your lives as you are from being in theirs.
They are safe, no matter what faith or creed has told you will happen to them upon passing, it all returns to golden light - even the ones that took things into their own hands.
Please do not carry guilt about how anyone passed, what more you could have done, the things you never said, and especially do not carry guilt if you ‘weren’t there in time’.
Guilt is a robber of joy. We cannot pass away if it is not our time, we actually get sent back.
Some people who need to pass, need to do so without others in the room and that's why when someone is passing, we don't get there on time. Or we pop out for coffee at what we may forever think was 'the wrong moment'. Our love and our life force hold them here, and when they need to leave, heart breaking as it is, they need less of that in the room to go.
I promise there is an order to these things, even if we humans cannot always see it. I know it feels hard. x
Please, this Christmas, try not to carry their loss as a scar on your heart.
Carry it as a sacred celebration of how incredibly lucky you were to journey together and, if you need to, write them a little letter telling them what you’ve loved about them and how you will nurture yourself going forward.
I got such a strong message to send this today (Chr 2017). James helped a distressed lady hang a commemorative card high up on a Christmas tree in a store in Taupo. We hugged her and held her for a while after. She was teary and said she missed her father every single day. I wanted to bring her home and let her rest.
I was far too teary feeling her heart and emotion to tell her this and I'm wishing I did, but she propelled this message for you and maybe you know someone who needs it. (I don't know who she was or I would send her this.)
You are absolutely loved. You are absolutely supported and appreciated. Thank you for everything you have done. It was enough.
Take some time somewhere to breathe and wrap your arms around yourself and sit for a few minutes.
You’ll get through, don't place any pressure on yourself to do much. We are sending much love.
Blessings and hugs,
Deb & James Rowley x
Previous Post: the-disappearing-self.html
Meaningful thanks and greatness are two things worth exploring further.
The next time someone says thank you, tells you that you are wonderful and you have helped them immensely, just let that filter right into your system and be banked into your heart space.
They do mean it.
Make sure you don't brush it off, it's a little gift for your soul - so please gently, let it right in.
Be ok with hearing that you are great, be ok with the thanks - make peace with these things.
If you are running around wishing you were more successful, but you won't let anyone tell you that you are good, you have resistance.
If you wish to, you could sit with this and examine it, sending it love until it feels more workable or completely disappears.
You are great. Your greatness is apparent to others, and you can reap rewards from it far more effectively if you work with it, rather than deny it or actively refusing to see it.
And always, when you say thanks - say it right into the heart of the person you are speaking to. It's magical. <3
In this moment, you have an opportunity to choose whether you will continue to worry, or whether you will simply park a worry to one side.
In this moment, free of worry, you now have an opportunity to send a little love energy to yourself.
In this moment of love energy, you now have an opportunity to say a silent thank you for the beautiful people and experiences and the love that surrounds you.
In this moment of gratitude, you may also give thanks for the forthcoming solution to your worry.
This is a constructive way to invest your energy.
In this moment of construction and openness, miracles are not only possible, they are very likely.
A word from the wise…
'Always listen to yourself. It's better to be wrong than simply follow convention.
If you are wrong, no matter, you will have learned something and you will grow stronger. If you are right, you will have taken another step toward a more fulfilling life. '
- Bryce Courtenay 1933 - 2012
You are treasure. I've told you before and sometimes you've soaked it up and said "Yes!" Other times, you've given me that look. The one that says "No way, I'm broken, I'm not that thing you think you see, I am believing that I am nothing much at all." But nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are days when we are resistant, but we have to check ourselves sometimes, and remember that resistance blocks us. In all directions. Flow is really important and we can't flow that well if we have dammed up our stream with rocks.
You're perfect as you are, it just takes a moment sometimes for us to realise this and embrace it, and when life feels tough - now and then, a little nudge is all we need to come back online.
Bryce Courtenay is probably writing away somewhere in the stars. I like to think he is helping me.
I've certainly learned from him and when I read this beautiful piece of writing (below), I think we share similarities of vision. He, more than any other writer, opened my eyes to african stars, to the power of one, to hopes, dreams and far away places.
When I see his books, I scoop them up. At a school fair I discovered 'A Recipe for Dreaming' and it was a dollar. I felt blessed, inherited a bookmark and a little note that said 'whether you are near or far, I have roads inside me, that take me to where you are.' I wonder who left it there. It's a heartwarming extra gift.It's a curious thing, reading another persons secondhand book. I wonder where it's been, who has soaked it's wisdom up, who has been entertained. Did it mean to them, what it means to me?
Bryce writes 'The combination of learning to dream and getting into the habit of asking yourself questions is, I believe, the beginning of a way to live a happy and original life.'
This is accurate for me. I spent years running from myself and only recently realised how to stop and ask myself what was right for me, how I felt and what I was here for. Too often the treadmill captures us.
I thought I would share this little passage from the book with you because it has inspired me so.
'You were not born empty.
God formed you with perfect feet and hands and a heart that beats non-stop, sometimes for a hundred years. He made you complete.
Why then, do you assume He made you empty?
He didn't, of course. You inherited a thousand generations of wisdom, skill, poetry, song, all the sunrises and sunsets of knowledge past. You are the sum of all the people who went before you.
You are a refinery of intellectual wealth.
The full flood of antecedent wisdom is piped and stored within you - how to climb the highest mountain, slay the biggest monster, how to survive fear and how to summon your own courage and take pride in your wonderful intelligence.
Inside you are more possibilities than you could possibly use up in one lifetime.
If you can dream it - you can do it, because the instinctive knowledge of how to succeed is already programmed within you waiting to be turned on. Waiting to flow like a river as you come on stream.'
I love it, don't you?
Bryce has been a big part of my dreaming. Perhaps he can inspire you too.
The light streams in on the floor, dancing dust motes tinkling in its gaze. Twirling and swirling in the glorious silence.
There is nothing. Or is there?
Paying attention brings the gulls in first. Off in the distance, exultant cries tell tales of low tides and rich pickings. The cicadas follow, their sibilant hum setting a clear frequency to cut and release, cut and release - they are dislodging the last of summer. Stridently sending it on its way, a few more long days of sunshine and then it will be gone.
The temperature has dropped. Last night was all about being covered. The cooler air today seems to aid thought processes.
The clock ticks, the fridge whirrs. And now there are school children on break time. A truck rumbling by and a few cars to help with the life hum. Further out, construction clangs, diggers and drop saws intrude.
The breeze just murmurs.
After last nights crazy wind, violently whipping the curtains and howling round the house - this is peace.
Take a moment to tune to all the sounds in your space, hear them, picture them, then retreat back out and let them go. Listen to the silence of your body.
All these external things have only the importance I attach to them.
Breathe and allow the stillness to centre you.
Threads of Life
She sinks inside herself. Discouraged and lost in regret and self recrimination. And finds she is not alone.
"Have you come for the dance?" he asks.
"What dance?" she replies, "I don't understand. I don't know who you are. I can't see a dance, all I can see is black and dark, I've stuffed things up and been stupid, and people have done bad things to me and to each other. Terrible things happen. Life is tough."
"Ah", he says. "Those people are teaching each other and you too. Teaching about love and pain, about how you can all make better choices, they are teaching how to think on your feet, how to have faith, how being saved at the last minute is a very real thing that happens, and about how you can cause great harm to yourself if you don't speak up. There are no mistakes, you are just learning."
She catches her breath. He has her attention, after all, she has nothing else to do.
"It is a dance because each person is crucial to complete a cycle. Each one is a link in an infinite chain reaction, weaving their way in and out, like a pattern in a fabric, and in that way they are dancers.
The man that gives way for the rushing woman, is in the right place at the right time to save someone's life. The woman who gives a gift to the elderly neighbour, thwarts an opportunistic thief, who sees a kindness in action, and is inspired to change his mind."
He goes inside himself for a moment and reflects, finding the words.
"Sometimes tragedy opens the door for great kindness and a sense of stronger community. Even though It can be difficult, it's important in these times to remain open to good.
These people who create wonderful things for each other, are all picking up their threads of life. The Threads of Life are very, very important. They are the same ones that provide people with nourishment from their spirits.
When the threads are scattered, knotted or broken, life cannot flow as easily. This is what closure does, sometimes it causes people to wander and stretch their threads very thinly, but they can always be called back, unless it's their time to pass from this world. In cases of death, the thread is snapped completely, as the body is not needed any longer."
She absorbs, and seeing how this opening and closing has worked in her life, she nods for him to continue.
"The threads roll over and under each other, as the people go about their business. In this way, a blanket is woven by humanity for humanity. Faith is shared, created, restored. Possibility is birthed.
Connection between people is the music for the dance, making unconditional relationships and extending kindnesses - this creates harmonious, beautiful music and makes the blanket soft. There are enough weavers now, and many more arriving daily to make this blanket enveloping, inviting and nurturing.
Some call themselves Lightworkers, but really it is all kinds of people doing and sharing good. Story tellers, artists, carers, gardeners, builders, mothers, fathers and poets. They sprinkle the blanket with the warmth of heart and courage, the magic of moonlight, starlight, the lilt and uplift of sunshine and daisies. And with the most important thing - the promise of a new dawn."
He pauses to see if she is still with him, and sees that her minds eye is filled with images, carried on a blissful journey of creating, imagining and remembering, a vivid landscape of love and caring.
A softness has returned to her.
Her vibration is rising as he speaks.
"Theirs is a sacred task, for they are removing the compression that has been laid down upon humanity.
Wouldn't you agree that sharing love and wisdom has always been the greatest grace available to mankind?"
She nods again.
"This blanket is ready for you now. Do you take your part as a weaver in this magical dance?"
"Yes." The faintest whisper.
"Then there is nothing for you to do but allow the memories of your kindnesses to wash over you.
To illuminate your life by engaging with the kindnesses others have done, for you and for all of humanity - and to allow this to also wash over you, and bathe your threads. Breathe and allow. As you do, they are becoming lighter and lighter, silvering in the sunshine of this infinite grace."
"Sit now and feel the warmth of the blanket. Feel the light cleansing you and drawing away false ideas of wrongs, slights, and limitations. This light is love.
And by your own remembering that you are an expression of this love, you are freed."
And with that, she understands that they are One. This is not her alone, this is 'us'.
She rests, wrapped in gratitude and the softest of blankets, with a full heart, inwardly experiencing the raw beauty of the dance - and she smiles - as she wonders what took her so long.
In the distance, there is music.
Sessions are for helping you feel like you again.
Each session is very individual, it's what you need it to be - in order to bring you into your strong, well, empowered self - in a clearer, brighter, lighter space.
Bringing you back to life… and to love.
It's about resetting the body to harmonious balance. A session lifts heaviness, removing that 'stuck' feeling and instilling confidence in your abilities to create a great life.
There is guidance within the session, (you can ask specifically for a reading) and sometimes there is a little homework too.
Depending on the length of time we have, sessions may include these things and the possibilities can be huge…
I work in a high trust environment, so this is a positive and proactive space for you to 'get things off your chest' without judgement, an open space for perfect release and renewal.
I see inside the body and work with universal energy, colour, sound, intention and holograms to facilitate this life change. I'm a Reiki Master/Teacher, a Colour Therapist, an Elohim Practitioner and have also been gifted other healing abilities through life experience.
The pace your body is able to process and integrate all this work dictates how much we achieve. If you are really, really ready - your body works like a thirsty sponge.
A Reiki session is a great follow up to this procedure.
The ideal way to approach your session is with the mindset that you are really ready to move forward - and when you've got that, the rest of it flows quite organically. Before you come, you may like to create a mental list of the things you'd like to 'let go of'.
Notes and recommendations are often supplied from the sessions.
Sessions work alongside allopathic medicine.
Some testimonials for my work are here.
Are you ready?
Hanging on to something that happened a long time ago can consciously or even unconsciously happen. Tough life experiences and attitudes (negative thoughts about ourselves or others) can colour everything that comes after them if we let them.
When you go into a place of peace around those things - you feel physically lighter - a lighter spirit really does help you to feel like you have a lighter body. And not only that, but it seems to make things flow better around you.
Taking the time to do it, and making the commitment to you is key.
That 'baggage' that sometimes impacts our lives so much, can be moved. How many times have you heard a friend who is dating say 'great lady - too much baggage?' or 'nice guy - just can't let his wife go'? The things we hold definitely impact our relationships with others.
Why are we carrying it around?
The weight can be disappointment/resentment (sometimes creating arthritis) it can be disillusionment and often, people feel stupid for trusting and then having their hearts broken, and sometimes we don't know we are carrying it, but we continue to attract similar experiences because it's on our minds, or in our fields.
I can tell you this for free… I almost missed out on my lovely husband because the men in my past were still haunting me. I was still holding them - as proof that the world was full of terrible men (I had hardly any other proof) and I had to make a concerted effort to release them and face him without my fears and judgements.
When I faced him, without that energy on board, I was not only free - I WAS SO EXCITED.
And all he had done was ask me out for dinner. Most decent men would have no clue at all that such a lovely thing to do for a woman could be so terrifying, but it was. I had literally broken out into a cold sweat on the day I was meant to be going out with him.
Gee am I glad I sorted it!!
So… it's great to do a bit of a body/spirit check from time to time and see if there is anything we are letting get 'under our skin' (rashes, shingles) or anywhere we are scared to move forward (feet or ankle strains) repeated stories we tell ourselves of bad experiences, or any parts of our lives that we just feel heavy/stuck in.
You'll know if it's preventing you from moving forward, or just keeping you in a holding pattern. Check it out - even the heaviest burdens can be lifted.
What would you like to be free for?
Red is the colour of love. It's regenerative, sensual, stimulating, the colour of power, of the base of our bodies. Of security.
Red is all about growth from 0 - 7 years and cares for our backs, hips, legs and feet.
It is the colour of the wavelength of light from approximately 620–740 nm on the electromagnetic spectrum.
What does that mean to us?
We are on a wavelength too. And when our waves are a bit choppy, we need a little colour tuning.
So this is the first part of that tuning. When we are lacking in energy, our bodies sometimes need red.
To find out if your red balance is out. Stand up, relax, shake yourself a wee bit, flop your arms to the sides and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Ask in your mind… 'do I need more red?'
If your body wants to move forward slightly - you probably do.
Go find a little bit of red from somewhere and tuck it in your pocket for a while thinking about absorbing the colour for healing.
Later check in again with your body and see how you are feeling. Are you topped up?
Too much red too close to bedtime might not be so conducive to deep sleeping. So if you have a big red duvet - and you are not sleeping - try a night with it off the bed - it might be 'winding you up' a bit.
Don't forget to check your pockets and take out your red helper before you pop it in the wash!
Have you subscribed to my Weekly Newsletter?
Next week I am featuring Orange.
If you'd like to join - email me here.
021 726 276
Previous post - Feel like you're driving through quicksand to get to work? Here
Energy expert, Deb is also a spiritual teacher, healer, writer and artist.