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Deb Rowley - Energy Expert
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • BOOK A SESSION WITH DEB
  • TRAINING
  • BLOG
  • SPEAKER
  • SHOP
    • Sessions With Deb
    • Online Classes
    • Free Stuff
    • Products & Giftware
  • ARE YOU AN EMPATH?

Elements of Greatness: ONLINE 2 PART COURSE

23/4/2018

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Have you ever: 
Wanted to do a vision board, collected the magazines and then looked at them for ages and finally put them away? 
Or made one and it worked?
Or made one and nothing happened and it got chucked in the cupboard
Or made one, everything showed up, then you forgot to make a new one?
Me too. In fact, ME THREE. Three of those things happened to me at different stages. One felt quite disconnected, the others were great. 
Then for a while I was contented, busy and just doing life, and then I came to a flat spot and realised I didn't have any 'live' goals or requests in with the Universe.
I had to change that and in the middle of all the wondering, a new process was born. Happy dance!
The things about vision boards is:
⭐You have to know what you want. 
⭐You have to be ok to ask for it. 
⭐You have to trust. 
⭐You have to deal with glue, scissors, pictures and TIME (and sometimes other people who don't like the mess).
⭐They have to be the RIGHT pictures if you're anything like me it needs to be a pleasurable process and work of art.
Knowing what you want is all very well. But if you don't know how it can happen, your brain can interfere with the process and you can go about *trying* to make it work instead of letting it go.
If you don't know what you want and you stick everything on there and there's no room for the thing you REALLY want when you finally figure that out, then what? Stick it over the top?
There's a magic in the process that people sometimes miss. Instead of thinking about the *things* you want, the best *thing* to do is to: 
⭐know yourself, 
⭐grow yourself,
⭐and say YES to the greatness that can be yours by Divine Right. 
How do you know what that is? 
You can only humanly imagine, the Divine has WAY MORE up it's sleeve for you than just the human stuff you are asking about. So you can inadvertently LOCK that out!
A lot of our life is spent actually blocking this subconsciously and the Universe won't give us what is ours if it knows we are going to say no to it because we can't receive or that we are scared of it in some way.
So what's the process?
It's ONLINE this Thursday night and next Thursday night and it's called Elements of Greatness. 
💎It's about downloading your own elements.
💎It's about getting out of the way.
💎It's about letting the Universe deliver the elements it has lined up for you. 
💎It's about coming online with the thing that fuels you. 
💎It's about the magic ingredient that makes it all stick.
It's a very cool process that got me to action from sitting around dithering with way too much scattered energy.
For two whole hours you are going to be right in the flow of BIG MAGIC in a golden vortex of creation and there will not be a GLUE STICK in sight!! 👏
Elements of Greatness list http://eepurl.com/dnvSkH
Buy the course @ www.debx.co.nz/shop.html
#bigmagic #elements #greatness

​
LOVE to have you join me on this course, it changed the way I operate and opened up more grace and ACTION for me!! 

Deb x 
Join the events newsletter here
Email me here
Previous post: Kinloch Self Love Retreat
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Kinloch Retreat: 24th & 25th November

23/4/2018

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BOOSTING LIFE! Growing your magic!
Understanding blocks and learning GREAT tools to shift them.
Did you know your biggest blocks are the KEY to your biggest growth? Smashing them, next levels life in all sorts of directions! 
In the next weekend retreat at Kinloch, November 24th & 25th, we work to...
- understand how blocks are trying to save us, and love them away with gratitude
- LANGUAGE, LANGUAGE!! Understand what readiness and need have to do with manifesting
- FIND OUR FUEL! Understand where motivation comes from for us personally (or where it runs away to) and shift that into higher gear
- RESET AND REBOOT! Dig up decayed beliefs about love and abundance, examine them and leave them in the past
- SMASH OUT LIMITED THINKING! Get honest with what we REALLY want and stop telling ourselves we can't have it
- HEAL OUR LINEAGE! Cut ancestral lack loose and heal family (our families can really subconsciously shape how we accept good or punish ourselves)
- PRIVATELY RELEASE DEEP SHAME. Let go of deep secret shame which is related to not allowing ourselves to receive.  This can be a private process or we can purge it by sharing if we wish. 
- LANGUAGE, LANGUAGE! Turn our inner critics into inner cheerleaders, self-love and stop leaking energy to heaviness and hopelessness
- DIVINE OUR OWN DIVINE LIFE! Learn what makes us feel cherished and how to say YES to more of that (bring that ON, right?)
- FEARLESSLY LOVE!  So we can be fully open to the joy of LOVE and SUCCESS in all levels of our lives.


WOOHOO!!! This weekend is full of magic, understanding, creativity, love and BIG SHIFTS. 
email me here to book your spot and get payment links.


$777 pp takes care of all food and materials for the event. 
There is an option (for up to 5 people) to stay onsite, or you can stay offsite. 

Bring a journal if you wish, comfortable clothes and a wrap and some comfy walking shoes for a gentle walk. 

Contact me by email here for availability
Love.

Deb x 

Previous post here: The unlimited well of possibility 
For events news, sign up here: http://bit.ly/1Cz9xCa
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 6 Hours of Crystal Wisdom
Learn how to use crystals for healing yourself and your family. Discover ways I've used them in my work, and learn how they can help you develop and support your empowerment, and for your magical growth. Get access to the Crystal Deliciousness Facebook group.

$99 for access to 5 hours of video teaching, a one hour podcast, notes on crystals and a  quiz to test your knowledge too. 

Buy the $99 Crystal Healing Class here
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The unlimited well of possibility

21/4/2018

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​The unlimited well of possibility 
residing in you,
awaits your attention.
It awaits your permission.
It yearns to be explored,
held up to the light
and to have more life 
breathed into it.

On the days when you doubt yourself
it holds its breath 
and prays you will remember
it awaits your attention.
It is the well you dig into
when all hope is lost and yet
somehow you survive - again.
It is a font of abundance
that helps you ride 
through difficulty you
never though you would manage.
It is the 11th hour, divine timing -
we have many phrases 
to describe 
this divine reservoir
that keeps on giving.
When you are no longer
a stranger to it,
miracle working will be 
a part of your every day
and miracle worrying
will be a thing of the past.
You are always loved.
And this IS an abundant universe.
You always have permission
even when you may believe you don't.
Sometimes others presume to remove
it from us, but they never truly can.
Will you give it
to yourself? 
What do you need from 
the Universe today?
Close your eyes, 
take a breath
take that permission
and just ask.
Love.

Deb x 



​Next post: Feel the swear and do it anyway 
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Feel the SWEAR and do it anyway...

21/4/2018

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Feel the SWEAR and do it anyway.

In my biggest moments of moving forward, I was nearly always a bit terrified, as when you start anything, you are walking on a bridge to a possibility. 
The bridge is literally appearing under your feet as you take each step. 

You don't know what it looks like when you get there because you've never been there before.
You're creating a new world.

All you know is, you don't want to stay where you were because something indefinable is calling you forward, urging you on. You're carving a path.
It's different to doing something that's been mapped out for you, carving a path requires a relationship with courage. Carving a path requires a relationship with dislodgement and willingness. Carving a path requires a desire for more, and for adventure, and for standing in front of people who know you and saying 'I'm making a change to myself. I may become unrecognisable.'

Carving a path may mean you have to hack out some of the undergrowth you've been navigating (or avoiding dealing with) to make your own clear ground. Your friends or family may find it extremely difficult to let the old you die away.

You'll encounter resistance. You're not taking them with you, at least not at first, but some of them will carve their own paths, encouraged by the light that shines from your life and your journey and the miracles that stream forth as you come into sync with universal flow.

Your almost inexpressible bliss is the red carpet your flow comes singing in on.

The calling can be so gentle at first, it's easy to miss it, or to disregard it as a silly idea, or even as selfishness. But it's still there. 
Quietly awaiting acknowledgment.

The truth is... 
Most people who start are scared. 
Most people who don't start are scared.
But the ones who've started, have at least started something, and you can bet anything that when they did, they were making up some of it as they went along. Just as people who forged paths always have, just as water finds it's way, you'll find yours if you keep listening to your heart.

In the moment before you jump, leap, or leave to pursue that dream, you'll say 'shit, shit, shit' to yourself. In the moment before you make that move, you'll suddenly find a willingness to chat to the Big Guy Upstairs whether you believe or not and say 'Oh God, Oh God, Oh God' and then that piece of bridge will settle under your foot and you'll need to lift your other one.

There will be days that you get evidence you're crazy. People will smugly tell you that you don't know what you're doing while you're building your dream. The 'world was flat' though, remember? And according to someone in 1812, scientists had invented everything it was possible to invent. And all you're asking for is to recognise your greatness is a live spirited thing (yes it is) and be paid for it. It's yours.

All you're doing is integrating something that has had a pulse inside you beating forever and giving it real life outside of your body. 
All you're doing is remembering and valuing it.

Yes it's scary. Self-doubt is a real thing. But sometimes self-criticism masquerades as self-doubt, and you need to check and make sure you're cheering yourself on instead of raining on your own parade. Self-doubt can come along when you are SELFED-OUT and need to rest from your ideas and any pressure that you've placed on yourSelf. So rest when you need to. Ground and recharge in the earth.

Take measured steps.
Back yourself.
Feel your way.
Dot your i's and cross your t's.

Nobody asked you to leap over a tall building in a single bound with your underpants on the outside.

Listen first. Breathe.

What's it worth to stay still? And what's the cost to stay still? 

How wonderful could life be if you were being paid to be you?

Do you need to process something first? Do you need to heal? Do you need to let go? Are you using these things to prevent yourself from bringing love, light, and possibility into that jungle? 

When will you give love a go? And when will you answer your heart, mine your magic and fly?
Shit, shit, shit, here you go. 
Feel the swear and do it anyway. I did, and so can you.

Deb X
​
Events newsletter signup --> http://bit.ly/1Cz9xCa
Kinloch Retreat
November 24th & 25th 
​Stay onsite or book your own accomodation.
Food and materials are taken care of.

Next post: The secret to your destiny might be in your school reports 
Popular: 15 tell tale signs you may be a healer 

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The secret to your destiny might be in your school reports.

19/4/2018

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1973.
 Who were you? Do you still have them? 
And if you have children, what are their reports reporting? 


Mine is loaded with kindness, language, speaking, storytelling (sometimes too much), art and... I was a bit crap at sports. Considering I speak and work healing people it's about spot on.

So for you, it would be really interesting to go take a look and a summary of what's there. Not from the teachers that didn't really know you, from the ones who 'got' you or from the snippets that resonate. If you're a bit lost around who you are and what you're doing - or wanting to do - go on a sleuthing mission, either in old reports, or daydream into what you loved to do. It's a big part of who you are. 

School time (other peoples observation) + parent energy (which you often emulate or reject) + plus background/childhood + great challenges or unwellness that you overcame (tenacity builders) + determination - these all shape us and add up to who we are.

Sometimes we have an unanswered calling inside us, and we've just stopped looking at what we want because life has side tracked us. Sometimes we are in the flow of a life journey to help others get going before we can come back to ourselves and ask what it is that we are here for, and that's all cool. 

Sometimes we've followed all the processes we were told to follow and then... it still hasn't worked out the way we thought it 'should'.

So if you're wondering... go take a look. See what comes up and then, figure out what you can do with it. Remember, the language to describe your work or mission/purpose, may not have been around when you were young, so be ok to be creative with what you have. And if you were 'not paying attention' or 'the class clown' that's NOT a bad thing. Entertainers are often the class clown, kids are often not paying attention because there isn't enough going on that's fast enough - or actually fascinating enough.  

So have you got a burning desire that has been unfulfilled since you were small?
Have you tucked it away thinking you could never do it?
Were you told 'people like us don't do things like that?

Take another look - now may be the time. 

Want help? Email me here. If you have a funny school report comment, share below, and if you're still hanging on to anything that made you feel rotten as a result of school - let's clear that. 

Deb x 
whose 'vocabulary is in no way limited'. Hehe. x

Next post: Holy Rowley's Sweary Miracle Tour here 
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EVENT: Holy Rowley's Sweary Miracle Tour. 50 + reasons why a healing could be great for you...

19/4/2018

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We've been jokingly referred to as the Holy Rowley's multiple times.
We swear, we laugh, we have a lot of fun and there's always lots of love in our work. We LOVE to make people feel better and have a good time. 

So here's an ONLINE EVENT - for just $12.73 


So it's time to do something with that, something that can make a whole LOAD of people feel amazing. I've done several shows, healing torn shoulders, sore knees, bad backs, broken ankles and more, and it's time to get going again. James is a healer, and a medium, and also, a great story teller, so he's in it too. ​
Go straight to sign up here
Or read all the results below and sign up at the bottom of this blog post...

In fact, here's a bit of a list:  

  1. relieving and remove intense pain from back pain, injury/crushed vertebrae
  2. improving respiratory conditions, such as asthma and emphysema
  3. helping broken bones heal faster
  4. alleviating or releasing depression and feeling engaged with life
  5. assisting with rehabilitation after injury - supporting alongside physio, osteo, chiro & allopathic medical work
  6. healing/supporting rape/abuse/violence survivors
  7. helping people to feel like themselves again when they have felt anything but
  8. releasing pain from old operation sites
  9. improving flexibility of joints
  10. helping children and adults sleep through the night
  11. ending bed wetting
  12. releasing night terrors releasing mind chatter bringing peaceful dreams and restful sleep
  13. supporting the release of weight
  14. creating better energy at work (or school - bully situations, study, teaching etc
  15. restoring a feeling of security in a burgled home
  16. restoring a feeling of peace in an environment where there has been stress
  17. helping soothe relationships, taking them to amazing new spaces
  18. enhancing togetherness and intimacy
  19. helping mend broken hearts and moving on/getting ready for new love
  20. helping to let go of the past and face the future
  21. supporting during the release of addictions and releasing addictions
  22. creating better energy in the home.
  23. helping to establish a healthy weight when there has been lack of nourishment
  24. boosting motor skills when clients have been told there is no hope
  25. relieving or releasing pain from injuries - including old injuries
  26. releasing chronic illness - in some cases eradicating the need for lifelong medication
  27. releasing stress and tension
  28. releasing anxiety or nervousness
  29. regularly releasing many aches and pains in seconds
  30. relieving heart palpitations
  31. boosting self esteem
  32. helping establish healthy personal boundaries
  33. releasing mystery illnesses & 'phantom pains'
  34. relieving great tiredness, including symptoms from chronic illness such as ME
  35. releasing altogether or relieving arthritis
  36. supporting during pregnancy
  37. supporting and relieving emotional pain during times of grief or loss
  38. halting vision loss after a diagnosis of macular degeneration
  39. restoring seemingly impossible good vision to a (still) scarred eye
  40. boosting general wellbeing
  41. rediscovering joy
  42. releasing the pain of shingles
  43. boosting confidence
  44. bringing a sense of calm and peace
  45. general support and a feeling of wellbeing where there has been loneliness
  46. aiding digestion
  47. helping people recover faster from colds and flu
  48. assisting with a feeling of focus and wellness for ADHD and related issues
  49. letting go of old fears
  50. clearing blockages in life
  51. supporting communities
  52. enhancing creativity
  53. releasing anger
  54. increasing focus
  55. releasing feelings of being overwhelmed
  56. soothing and healing pets - physical or emotional
  57. clearing new homes, or clearing old homes for sale
  58. releasing fertility issues and watching babies grow... 

it's even good for growing healthy plants! 

So what is possible for you? Are you sceptic? This is only $12.73 for the first one, so there's very little risk for what could be a huge gain. Previously, I was a sceptic who regularly took Panadol and other painkillers for a chronic sore back. I had phantom pains, a broken heart, felt depressed and had low self esteem. I recovered from a prolonged series of traumatic life events that brought both extreme pain and around 30 years of fear.
I still am partly sceptic (which I think is healthy) and that's why I love to see and hear results. 


Every day, people are helped by this work. 
It works over the phone, via Skype, messenger, zoom - anywhere in the world.
Some people are helped in ways they never dreamed possible.

So, want to join us? 

Sign up here for the online session and let's see if we can get your pain to melt. 
It's just $12.73 NZ for the first one.

​*We'll set the date when we have enough people signed up. 

James and Deb Rowley
​


Holy Rowley's Sweary Miracle Tour Sign up

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Previous post: Unconscious magic
Next post: The secret to your destiny might be in your school reports
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March 26th, 2018 Unconscious magic

26/3/2018

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UNCONSCIOUS MAGIC: Some of the most amazing things come out of the most unexpected places. 
I started my global healing business in my garage over ten years ago. I made it from a dream on my vision board, and when I was finished it had silk curtains, French doors, a courtyard and a beautiful vibe. 

It was a delicious, magical haven, created from multiple synchronicities, full of gorgeous things and experiences for gorgeous people. 

At that time, it was the future vision combined with the spirit of my 'now' business that egged me on. I had the sketchiest roadmap and massive trust in the bigger picture. 
(Before I started it was full of old tat that I sold on Trade Me.)

I took my handbag to work every morning, went home (a little over 3 metres) for lunch and worked till late. 

Now and then, in between clients, I meditated in the hammock. 😆

On the end ceiling was a gold script that a signwriting friend made which said 'Follow your bliss and the Universe will open its doors for you where there were only walls.'
The Universe loves clear messages. ❤️

The Deb that dreamed the dream and stepped on into it, is one of the elements of me that I am SO grateful for. 
There were days when she didn't know how the hell it was all supposed to come together, but like the Field of Dreams movie - she built it, and they came on in. Sometimes slower than I wanted them to, but I was pulled along by the spirit of something much bigger and so through the times when others thought I was crazy, I kept listening and kept going.

Your human dream is much smaller than divine possibility and that's why it's so important to listen to your heart, surrender, take action and allow your miracles to unfold.

Several incarnations later, here we are in Kinloch practically living on a golf course. Who knew when I bought clubs years ago and hardly used them, that I'd be living right by the Golf course? Who knew, when I created a jewellery workshop and bought all those tools that one day James Rowley would be creating glorious jewels with them? I used them, packed them up and they just sat there. Waiting. 

And while I'm SO freaking grateful to the beautiful flow of clients who helped and all the people who came along and offered their kindness along the way.... this is about YOU! 

I keep meeting fabulous women (and men) who don't realise how magical they are. They wish they were. It all sounds exciting and one day they might be and they're trying so hard. Some of them are walking around holding life up and it's all SO hard because they're not using their magic consciously so they are literally carrying the world, when they could just. put. it. down. Some of them are really young, thank goodness they're learning now - lots are 42, 43, 44 when I ask them how old they are, and many are just discovering a little delicious hint of their magic at a much more ripe age. :) 

Just like them, I didn't know I was magical. Even though lots of magical things were happening to me, I was literally the last person who found out. I thought everyone's head worked the same way mine did, and I had no idea that energy healing was real. I didn't believe in any of that stuff. I chugged painkillers for my sore back from carrying literally everything. I came last. Take that as you will. 

These days of course - I teach people how their magic amplifies their enjoyment of life and all of their results. 
We've all got some kind of dream inside us, and you can bet your ass the dream, when allowed to breathe, has the ability to provide you with an endless stream of miracles. 

You're already transforming, or you wouldn't be reading this. Don't wait for a good time to start, or for the approval of others who can't see your vision, listen loudly to your spirit, divine and follow the inbuilt design of your version of deliciousness, dream your dream, build your vision - let it speak to you and pull you along. 

It's time to step in, feel and listen and let the picture almost draw itself.

Deb X
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Big love

26/3/2018

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How long will it take you to know love does not contract?

Love is expansive. Love flowers. Love remains open in the face of anything life throws at it, because its nature is in alignment with moving forward, with truth and with growth. 

Love encourages and replicates itself, love is a bottomless well of wonder that continues to give and give and explore and find a way through. 
Love is the truth you've been looking for, it can find a way through anything, even the seemingly impossible moment.

Love knows you do not need to scream and cry and bleed on the floor to grow in your body, mind, and spirit. Love does not shoot people down in flames to force them through some kind of idealistic, unrealistic birth canal. Great love sometimes steps away for a time, holding space and inviting you to catch up with the truth of it. You'll be back to it when you are ready and notice you have strayed away. 

Love is a heat-seeking missile of freedom and sometimes, you will be made uncomfortable by love as it tries to spring you free from a situation that isn't right for you. 
If you dive into what you are really feeling, you'll know there is a great deal of difference between having an opinion and a choice and being given your opinion and no choice. Love always gives a choice. 

The idea of love can be terrifying because it can seem unreachable, but the truth is, we are made of love, it liberates us in ways we can't even imagine. It's our liberation we sometimes find terrifying and that's why we are afraid to reach - we are terrified in case it's not there. 

It's always there. It's the energy that grows trees and grass and flowers without pushing and forcing. It invites you to check and see if you are fully standing in your own love space. 
Do you have the power to move with it? Or have you put it down for a moment?
Do you currently truly have the freedom to choose for yourself or are you working someone else's story or agenda?
Do you currently have your own opinion and choice or are you being given them? 

Are you free? 

Love is freedom. 
Love is no ownership, only being the captain of your OWN ship. Love is not painful, the stories we put around it, the shadow we bring to it is. 

Your task is simply to uncover where love is not and shift enough to allow its radiance to shine in. 

It's easy, despite everything you may have been told. 

Deb x 
​
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The Goddess sits still

26/3/2018

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THE HELL YOU ARE DOING.

The Goddess sits still.

The Goddess sits still because she knows her power. 
She knows her worth and her value. 
She knows her bliss. 
She knows that lies fall away and truth remains.
She knows the essence and power of pure love. 
She knows everything she needs will come to her if she sits still amid the din and the hubbub of the daily grind. 

She knows when to stand up and when to step back.

The Goddess knows energy. 
She is beloved. 
She is the calm in the storm of life. 
She awaits your attention.

She is a guardian of your gifts and holds in her hands, a bouquet of your gifts, magic, light, and power.
She is the keeper of your divine, creative force, the wild and wonderful part of you you’ve been too scared to meet.

She sees it all. 

She is the voice who says ‘REALLY?’ when you know you are settling and trying to stay safe. 
She knows when you are using escapism to avoid taking responsibility.
She is the voice you would like to use, but are a little worried no one will be able to handle. 

She is the one who tugs at your heartstrings when you are called to do something your human self explains away as selfish. She is the one who leaves you with an ache as a reminder that you did not choose yourself.

She wonders when you will. 

She has seen it all before, has walked with you in many worlds, is ageless and therefore has P L E N T Y of time. 

She also has questions for you. 

How much time do you think you have this time? What the hell are you doing blocking your joy and your growth with your triggers?

You don’t have time for this standing about.
Put it aside and rise. 

Fear, apologising for existing, stories and wounds are all detractors from you shining your light. 
Put it aside and rise. 

The hell you are doing is:
Getting up close and personal with your wounds, fear and stories when you don’t need them. 
Blocking your joy by revisiting all this energy without understanding its spiritual value to you. 
Allowing others to make choices for you when you are the ONE. 
Giving away your power. 
Ignoring the Goddess that resides within you while you run around scattering your energy in all directions.

It does not have to be as hard as you are making it. 
She IS YOU. You have the power to fully engage with her, create YOUR heaven on earth and completely change your wounds and stories into history, gifts, growth, victory, and legend. 

She is the phoenix who burns away fear and rises from the ashes. 
She waits for you to rise to meet her eyes. 
She has time. 

Do you? 

Deb x 
Light up your life. Hook up your magic and BLAZE your trail. 
www.debx.co.nz 
​
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Potential is a potent shell

26/3/2018

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CHANGING THE SHEETS (AND OTHER STORIES):

When a relationship has ended there are two significant energetic things I often discover people don't know about. 

1. The bedding needs to go. Sleeping in the energy of the old relationship doesn't open the door for the new one. I know buying new bedding is a commitment sometimes, but get a bit at a time until the old is gone. It's ok to pass it on, but don't stay under it or in it yourself and as it goes, say to yourself and the world in general, 'I am releasing the story from this, it is free to go and so am I'. I'm including pillows in this as our pillows are receptacles for all the 'stuff' that goes on in our heads. 

2. Rings, jewellery, anything that ties or binds around your body. You are no longer tied to or by this person and neither are they by you and that practice of wearing the old wedding rings, on the other hand, is only about thriftiness. It's a reminder that something didn't work out and it's an idea from way back when divorcees were loose women people might get a shot at. Let go. Park them elsewhere. Do a trial run for three weeks if you are reticent about this. Think about remodelling them if you want to, but it's just so much better not to identify yourself as 'once tied to so and so'. 
Spiritually, energy can be picked up through these items, they tell a story. If it's a story of old love and deep sustaining support - then all good. But if you are man-hating, yet still wearing the diamonds, I have to tell you Zsa Zsa Gabor is not your idol. Let them go. They have a negative impact on your energy field and they hold your ankles while you are trying to move forward. It makes me feel yuck even writing about it, but it's important info. 

MAN HATING: The other thing is, the man-hating, is an energy that orbits around you. If you objectify a man as a pain-related experience - the universe is not going to bring you one. The universe is not about to give you pain on purpose - it gives you pain to let you know something is finished. Like when you put your hand in the fire and it gets burned - you're supposed to be removing it. This is what happens when the universe is trying to get through to you about what your boundaries are meant to be. You then have to go install boundaries and start from there. 
You're not here to fix/save or see the potential in someone, you're here to do the work on yourself so you can fully stand in your power and be seen like a great big lighthouse. 
Man haters attract woman haters because the universe loves people with the same vibe to hang out together. We get bitter or we get better. Get better. You are more likely to fully love and be fully loved for everything you are if you are not thinking you are going into a war zone in man land. 
Also: People who tell you relationships are hard work do not have the key to a totally healthy one. All the rationalisation in the world is nothing to do with your vibe in a space. It's not mechanics and you are not a car. 
Shut your head up and listen to what your vibe is trying to say. Walking away is an act of self love. You do not have to pay penance for a decision you made when you did not know what you wanted. Warring in a partnership now means warring in a partnership later. 

*Also need to pop in here that ogling the kind of man you don't believe you are ever going to have messes with your vision board and requests from the universe. 

WHEN IT'S NEARLY DONE: Hanging around like a tiny candle with your light squished while you try to do a shitload of repair work while someone else isn't bothering, is about not letting your light attract what you're truly asking for in your core - and is not about healing - it's a major act of self-sabotage. 

SORRY NOT SORRY (WITH LOVE) I am feeling like I am probably going to push a few buttons and I want to apologise, but I don't want to apologise as much as I want you to honour your heart and your whole energy field and to be honest with yourself. It's perfectly ok not knowing what to do next, but I'd suggest a clean, clear conversation with yourself about what you want, including what you could do in order to improve your own offering on the planet - how you stand - what your goals are - what your dealbreakers are and where your boundaries need to be. 
A huge amount of stress is caused when people decide they have invested THIS much into a relationship, time, money and stuff and so they think they 'should' just keep going because it 'looks right' but it feels so wrong. Please listen. Love. OR even 'please listen, Love'.

ENERGETIC ORBITS: I wrote some time last week about orbits and this is a prime example. It takes a lot of balls to shift out of a relationship when everyone else is comfortable with it. 
If you're dying on the inside, then something HAS to shift - for your health as much as for anything else. 

There's a bit of difference between being energetically unclear, and being in the wrong space. Many women I know have cried themselves to sleep (and men too actually) at night wondering what the hell to do next, then they've put themselves on the back burner and got on with disappearing while they look after others. This works for a while, I know because I have done it. But there generally comes a day when it all implodes. Sometimes the other person stands up and gets out and that changes the orbit. 
We often don't know what to do when the orbit shifts - everyone in it needs to reset themselves and a lot of people can find it inconvenient and some can be downright crappy and judgy but it's an important part of moving forward - even if it's happening to you and you don't like it. x

CHOOSING: You do what you need to do for you. Work out whether you're giving away all your power and need to take it back by reestablishing your boundaries - or whether you really need to step out. (I have a post here somewhere called the Pancake - I'll find that, it's relevant.) 

Partnerships, relationships, marriages and family - any social situation has an orbit. You can really see what's going on in them if you step back and observe, and if you do, you may wonder what the hell you are doing, taking yourself into some of them. 

Courageously be ok to hold conversations about what is right for you if you are honouring yourself. Ask for what you want. Be ok to step out of the ones that are wrong for you now - that's not saying they weren't right at some stage - and jump into the ones that feel like they serve. It will stop an energy drain and start to build your energy back. Bless the ones you leave with everything you have, they have served you for a time, even if you don't realise it right now. 

ENERGY IS THE BIGGEST CURRENCY we have on this planet and it's all completely related to your flow. The little orbits that don't fit, pull on your power. Love everyone, but love yourself enough to choose. You'll set an example for others to follow about honouring themselves if they are wise enough to also step back instead of being caught up in the drama. 

We're learning this human stuff, but love, is actually easy. 
Everyone just wants love and the whole of the universe is trying to take us all there. We don't work hard to get to love, or to joy - they are present - we just need to take note of where they are patiently waiting for us, agree to join them and take the steps we need to take to allow that. 

Potential is a potent shell. I feel like I've only just started stepping into mine, but it's up to us as individuals to fill ourselves up and grow into them. We may and we may not.
It's incredibly rewarding of course, to step in and start. 

Shall we? Let's go. 

Deb X 
the million dollar healer 
www.debx.co.nz

This post is part of some older writing I have done, from our relationship seminars and in response to multiple questions I have received over the last few days. If you're having a shift - you're not the only one it's happening to. If you want to discuss - yell out. Let's get clear.
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    Energy expert, Deb is also a spiritual teacher, healer, writer and artist.
    ​She works all over the world and lives in a beautiful valley in a village called Kinloch  (near this big mountain and it's friends) - with HER two best furry friends, her gorgeous, less furry husband and a thornless blackberry bush that's showing great promise.
    She is 40 steps from the first tee on the golf course and only about three steps at the most, EVER, from a colouring pencil. 
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